Chapter 281: A Difficult Choice PT 2

It was past noon when Lydia finally woke up.

For a few seconds, she simply stared at the ceiling.

Her head hurt badly.

Then she remembered why.

She had cried herself to sleep.

Lydia slowly raised a hand to her face. Her eyes felt sore, and when she touched them, she could tell they were swollen.

She sat up in bed and stayed there for a while.

There was too much on her mind.

Damir’s proposal.

Telling Ivan the truth.

The way Ivan might react when he learned she was carrying his child.

And then there was yesterday.

She had almost died.

The thought made her stomach twist.

Lydia lowered her gaze to her hands.

She could not keep doing this to herself.

Every time she thought about the future, she imagined the worst possible outcome. Ivan rejecting her. Ivan turning away from her. Losing him again.

She was tired of being afraid.

"I can’t keep having these negative thoughts," she whispered.

She pushed the blanket aside and stood.

Her legs felt a little weak, but she ignored it. She stretched her arms above her head and took a deep breath.

She needed to distract herself.

She had barely taken a few steps when there was a knock at the door.

Lydia looked toward it.

"Come in."

The door opened, and Irina stepped inside.

The moment she saw Lydia, her expression softened.

"Are you all right?"

Lydia nodded.

"Yes."

Irina looked at her carefully.

"Thank goodness."

She walked farther into the room and closed the door behind her.

Then she lowered her voice.

"What about the baby?"

Lydia immediately understood what she meant.

She nodded again.

"The baby is fine."

Irina let out a quiet breath.

She had been worried.

After what happened the previous day, she had every reason to be.

But her relief did not last long.

Her expression became serious.

"Lydia, by now your pregnancy should start showing."

Lydia looked away.

Irina continued.

"What are your plans?"

Lydia was quiet for a moment.

"I had a plan."

Irina waited.

"I planned to tell him last night."

Her voice became softer.

"But..."

"But what?"

Lydia said nothing.

Irina stared at her.

"And now?"

Lydia lowered her eyes.

Still, she did not answer.

Irina’s patience slowly disappeared.

"You almost died yesterday, and you still have no words?"

Lydia looked up at her.

Irina sighed.

"Damir told me he asked you to marry him."

Lydia’s face became uncomfortable.

"I already said no."

"Why?"

Lydia did not answer.

Irina stepped closer.

"Why did you say no?"

"Because..."

She stopped.

Irina already knew the answer.

"Because of His Highness?"

Lydia looked away.

Irina’s voice became firmer.

"Because of a man who abandoned you?"

Lydia’s eyes filled with tears.

Irina continued before she could answer.

"You clearly aren’t happy in this marriage. So why are you clinging to it?"

Lydia swallowed.

Irina looked at her with both concern and frustration.

"Damir is my son. And I am your godmother. If you married him, he would take care of you. He would provide for you and your child."

Lydia’s lips trembled.

"You wouldn’t have to worry about anything."

"I know."

"Then why?"

Lydia closed her eyes.

Irina’s voice softened slightly.

"Why are you holding on to a man who left you?"

Lydia said nothing.

"Why are you holding on to someone you are too afraid to tell that you are carrying his child?"

That question broke the last of Lydia’s control.

Tears slipped down her cheeks.

"I can’t."

Irina’s expression changed.

"Why?"

Lydia shook her head.

"I just can’t."

"You can."

"No."

Her voice cracked.

"I can’t."

Irina looked at her sadly.

"Lydia."

Lydia covered her face with both hands.

"I tried."

Her shoulders began to shake.

"I really tried."

Irina stood in front of her.

"Then tell me."

Lydia slowly lowered her hands.

Her face was wet with tears.

"I tried to stop loving him."

Irina became quiet.

Lydia looked at her through her tears.

"I tried so many times."

Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"I told myself I hated him. I told myself that I would get my revenge. I told myself I could raise my child without him."

She took a shaky breath.

"But I can’t."

Irina’s eyes softened.

Lydia finally said the words she had been trying so hard to avoid.

"Because I still love him."

She started crying harder.

"I’m sorry, Godmother."

Irina did not say anything.

Lydia continued.

"I know I shouldn’t. I know he hurt me. I know what he did."

She pressed a hand against her chest.

"But I can’t stop loving him."

Her voice broke.

"I tried."

Irina walked toward her.

"Oh, you poor thing."

She pulled Lydia into her arms.

Lydia immediately leaned against her and cried.

Irina held her tightly, gently rubbing her back.

For a while, neither of them spoke.

Lydia had spent so long pretending she did not care.

She had told everyone, including herself, that she wanted nothing from Ivan.

But the truth was much simpler.

She loved him.

That was why telling him about the baby terrified her so much.

It was not only because she feared his reaction.

It was because some part of her still hoped he would want them.

She still wanted her family.

She still wanted Ivan.

And that made everything more painful.

Irina held her tighter.

"I understand now."

Lydia wiped her tears against her cheek.

"I don’t know what else to do."

Irina looked down at her.

"Then let me help you."

Lydia shook her head.

"How?"

Irina hesitated for a moment.

Then she said quietly,

"I’ll tell him the truth."

Lydia’s eyes widened.

"Godmother..."

"I don’t know what else to do."

Irina gently held her shoulders.

"You have been carrying this alone for too long."

Lydia stared at her.

"I’ll tell him."

She meant it.

Whatever happened after that, Ivan had to know.

Lydia’s eyes filled with fresh tears.

But before she could say anything else, Irina pulled her back into the embrace.

Outside the room, someone stood completely still.

Tatiana.

She had stopped the moment she heard Lydia’s voice.

She had not meant to listen.

But then she heard Irina mention the baby.

Tatiana’s heart had begun beating faster.

She remained beside the door, afraid to move.

Then she heard Lydia’s words.

I’m carrying his child.

Tatiana’s eyes widened.

Yelena’s suspicion had been right.

Lydia was pregnant.

But hearing it from Yelena had been nothing more than a suspicion.

Now Tatiana had heard the truth with her own ears.

Her hands began to tremble.

She slowly brought one hand toward her mouth.

Her breathing became uneven.

"No..."

She took a small step away from the door.

Her mind raced.

Lydia was going to tell Ivan.

She had planned to tell him last night.

If Ivan found out about the baby, everything would change.

He would never let Lydia go.

Tatiana’s fingers moved to her nails.

She bit one nervously.

"No."

Her eyes became cold.

"I can’t let her tell him."

She took another step back.

The fear inside her quickly turned into anger.

She had already made her plans.

She had already chosen tonight.

And now she had another reason to make sure Lydia never got the chance to speak.

"No matter what."

Tatiana’s trembling hands slowly tightened into fists.

"I can’t let her tell him."