Chapter 54: What the God Remembered

Rin couldn’t sleep.

He sat alone on the balcony, staring at the night sky. The fortress was quiet around him.

Most of the lights had already gone out, leaving only a few lamps burning along the distant corridors but Rin’s mind refused to become quiet.

Three words continued to repeat themselves.

Ask the God.

The message from the ancient paper had disappeared, but Rin remembered it perfectly.

He had already spoken with the God before, he had learned about their childhood. he had learned why the God had hated being forgotten, he had learned that the God had not created his curse but there was still something missing.

The memory before Aelion.

The child. The woman. The person whose face he couldn’t remember.

And the words:

I choose you.

Rin looked toward the moon.

"Who did I choose?"

He had no answer and perhaps the God didn’t either.

Still...there was one way to find out.

Rin stood. He didn’t tell Sol. He didn’t tell Noctis and he didn’t tell Kaelith.

This wasn’t because he didn’t trust them. It was because this mystery belonged to a part of his life that none of them knew.

Not even the God knew everything but if anyone could recognize something from Rin’s life as Aelion... it was him.

Rin walked through the quiet corridors. The guards didn’t stop him.

He eventually reached the highest balcony of the fortress. Cold wind moved through his hair.

He looked into the darkness.

"I know you’re there."

For a moment, nothing happened. Then golden light appeared. The God stepped out of it. He looked at Rin silently.

"You came. I need to ask you something."

The God nodded.

"Ask."

Rin studied him for a moment.

"How much do you remember?"

The God seemed surprised.

"About what?"

"About me."

The God thought for a moment.

"Everything from the day I met you."

Rin’s heart tightened.

"From the day you met me."

"Yes."

"Nothing before that?"

The God shook his head.

"No."

Rin nodded slowly. That confirmed it.

The God knew Aelion. He knew Rin’s life as the God of Love but he didn’t know what had happened before.

"What did you think I was when you first met me?"

The God smiled faintly.

"A god. This is how a god need to be."

Rin laughed.

"That’s not what I mean."

"I know."

The God looked toward the stars.

"When I first met you, I didn’t know where you came from."

"Did you ever ask?"

"I was five."

Rin smiled.

"Fair."

"You didn’t seem interested in telling me."

"I didn’t?"

"You talked about everything except yourself."

Rin’s smile faded.

"That sounds like me."

The God smiled.

"It was."

For a moment, the two stood quietly. Then Rin asked:

"When I became Aelion... did you know why?"

The God became serious.

"Yes."

Rin’s eyes sharpened.

"Tell me."

The God took a breath.

"You had chosen someone."

Rin froze. The same words. Again.

"Who?"

"I don’t know."

Rin looked at him.

"You don’t know?"

"No."

The God shook his head.

"I knew that you had chosen someone."

"How?"

"Because you told me one time."

Rin’s heart skipped.

"I did?"

"Yes."

"What did I say?"

The God smiled sadly.

"You said you had finally found the person you wanted to stay beside."

Rin’s chest tightened.

"Then what happened?"

"You were betrayed."

Rin became silent. The God continued.

"I don’t know exactly what happened between you."

"You never asked?"

"I did."

"And?"

"You wouldn’t tell me."

Rin frowned.

"Why?"

"Because you were already hurting."

The God looked away.

"You told me only one thing."

"What?"

"That the person you chose had betrayed you."

Rin stared at him.

"And after that?"

The God closed his eyes.

"You changed."

Rin waited.

"You stopped talking about love. You stopped trusting people. You stopped allowing anyone to get close. And then..."

The God looked at him.

"...you became Aelion."

Rin’s breathing slowed.

"Because of the betrayal?"

"Yes."

"Was becoming a God my choice?"

The God hesitated.

"Not exactly."

Rin looked at him.

"What does that mean?"

The God sighed.

"You didn’t simply decide to become a god."

"Then what happened?"

"You were cursed."

Rin’s eyes widened. The God continued.

"The curse forced you toward divinity."

"Why?"

"I don’t know."

"Who created it?"

The God remained silent. Rin waited. Finally, he answered:

"I know who created the curse."

Rin’s heart skipped.

"But I don’t know why they did everything they did."

"Then why won’t you tell me?"

"Because you don’t remember enough yet."

Rin’s expression hardened.

"Why? Do you think I’m too weak to know?"

"No."

"Then what?"

The God looked at him.

"I’m afraid that if I tell you before you’re ready, you’ll remember the wrong thing."

Rin frowned.

"What does that mean?"

"The curse didn’t only affect your power."

The God looked toward Rin’s chest.

"It affected your memories."

Rin’s eyes widened.

"So the memories I’ve been recovering..."

"Some are real."

Rin stared.

"Some?"

The God nodded.

"Your memories as Aelion are real."

"All of them?"

"I don’t know."

Rin’s expression changed. The God continued.

"I remember the parts of your life that I personally witnessed. Your time with me. Your life as the God of Love. Your relationship with Eryon. The people you protected. The worlds you visited while you were Aelion. But everything before that..."

The God shook his head.

"I don’t know."

Rin lowered his eyes.

"Then you don’t know who I was before Aelion."

"No."

"Or how many lives I lived."

"No."

"Or how I died."

The God looked at him.

"I know that you died trying to save people."

Rin looked up.

"But I wasn’t there."

"No."

"Then how?"

"Eryon told me."

Rin nodded slowly. That made sense. The God wasn’t claiming knowledge he didn’t possess. He was telling Rin what he had learned from someone else.

Rin appreciated that. He had spent too long surrounded by people who seemed to know pieces of his story without explaining where those pieces came from.

The God was different. He knew what he knew and he admitted what he didn’t.

Rin looked at him. The God gave him a sad smile.

"I knew one Rin."

Rin looked at him.

"The one who found me. The one who stayed. The one who became Aelion. That’s the Rin I know."

Rin’s chest tightened.

"And the others?"

The God shook his head.

"I don’t know them."

That answer somehow made Rin feel strangely sad not because the God had failed him but because it reminded Rin just how much of his existence remained hidden.

Rin looked toward the sky.

"Then tell me about that one."

The God smiled.

"What?"

"Tell me about Aelion."

The God seemed surprised.

"You want to hear about yourself?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I don’t remember enough."

The God nodded.

"Then ask."

Rin thought.

"What did I like?"

The God smiled immediately.

"Flowers."

Rin laughed.

"Really?"

"You planted them everywhere."

"That sounds inconvenient."

"It was."

"What else?"

"You liked music."

"I can’t play anything."

"You could when you were Aelion."

Rin stared.

"You’re joking."

"No."

Rin laughed.

"Anything else?"

"You liked helping people."

"I still do."

"Yes."

"You liked sleeping under the stars."

Rin looked up.

"I still do."

The God smiled.

"You liked sweet food."

Rin’s expression brightened.

"Now we’re getting somewhere."

The God laughed.

"You hated bitter medicine."

"I still do."

"You hated people who lied to you."

Rin became quiet. The God noticed.

"That hasn’t changed either."

Rin looked at him.

"Did I trust easily?"

"No."

"Then how did I trust you?"

The God was silent. Finally:

"Because I was a child."

Rin smiled.

"That’s not the only reason."

The God looked at him.

"You saw me."

Rin’s expression softened.

"You saw a child who had been abandoned and you stayed."

Rin nodded.

"I think I understand."

The God looked down.

"When you left, I thought you had forgotten me."

"But I didn’t."

"No."

"You were just separated from me."

"Yes."

Rin smiled faintly.

"I’m glad I found you."

The God looked at him.

"So am I."

Rin became quiet again. Then he remembered the most important question.

"The person I chose."

The God looked at him.

"What about them? What did you think of them?"

"I hated them."

Rin blinked.

"Why?"

"Because they hurt you."

The God didn’t hesitate.

"You were different after the betrayal."

"How?"

"You stopped believing people could love you without wanting something from you."

Rin’s expression darkened.

"And yet..."

He looked at the God.

"You became obsessed with keeping me."

The God closed his eyes.

"Yes."

"You were afraid I’d leave."

"Yes."

"You were afraid someone else would take me away."

"Yes."

"And that fear made you hurt me."

The God nodded.

"Yes."

Rin looked at him for a long moment.

"I understand why."

The God looked surprised.

"But I won’t say it was right."

"I know."

"I don’t hate you."

The God looked down.

"But I need you to understand something."

"What?"

"I won’t let anyone decide who I belong to."

The God slowly looked up. Rin’s voice was calm.

"Not you. Not the System. Not the curse. Not the World. No one."

The God stared at him. Then, slowly, he smiled.

"That’s what I wanted."

Rin frowned.

"What?"

"For you to choose."

The words struck Rin strangely. The same idea again.

Choice. Will. Freedom. The thing hidden inside his oldest memory. The God continued:

"When I was a child, you taught me that being loved didn’t mean being owned."

Rin’s eyes widened.

"I said that?"

"Yes."

The God smiled.

"I forgot it for a long time."

Rin looked at him.

"And now?"

"Now I remember."

For several seconds, neither spoke. Then Rin smiled.

"Good."

The God began to disappear. Rin immediately spoke.

"Wait."

The golden light stopped.

"What?"

"The curse."

The God looked at him.

"You said you know who created it."

"Yes."

"Will you tell me?"

"Eventually."

"When?"

"When you remember more of your divine name."

Rin sighed.

"You really like making me wait."

The God smiled.

"You’ve always hated waiting."

"I still do."

"I know."

Rin looked at him.

"One more thing."

"What?"

"If I remember the person who betrayed me..."

The God waited.

"...don’t interfere."

The God became still.

"Promise me."

A long silence followed. Then he nodded.

"I promise."

Rin smiled.

"Thank you."

The God disappeared. Rin remained alone beneath the stars.

He touched his chest. A faint warmth appeared.

Ael—

Not the complete name but something was changing.

He had learned something important tonight. The God wasn’t the keeper of every answer. He was a witness to one part of Rin’s life.

Aelion. The God of Love.

The child Rin had protected. The God who had loved him in his own complicated way and the betrayal that had happened before Aelion became a god... was still waiting somewhere inside Rin’s lost memories.

Rin looked toward the horizon.

"I’ll remember."

Then a quiet sound came from behind him.

Ding.

Rin turned.

Kaelith stood in the doorway. He hadn’t heard the conversation. He only looked at Rin.

"Are you coming?"

Rin smiled.

"Yeah."

Kaelith waited. Rin walked toward him. As they walked back through the corridor, their hands brushed.

This time, neither pulled away and Rin realized something.

For the first time, he wasn’t afraid of remembering the past. Because whatever he had been before...whatever Aelion had become...whatever happened in the lives between...he still had the right to choose who he would become now.