I Need you, Shin.

(Akane's PoV)

—

'My beloved Shin♥♥♥: Akane? Where are you? What's happening?'

When I saw his message, I felt relieved, but I didn't answer. I couldn't.

My fingers were too cold, and my throat was too tight. Stopping to type would've just made me lose more precious time.

That's why I ran until I had finally seen him from the far end of the street.

He had just come out through the school gates, walking slowly with his hands in his pockets and his head tilted slightly down. But I couldn't read his expression.

Sora, of course, was next to him.

They were talking. I saw her telling him something and pushing her hair back behind her ear, making Shin laugh—a pretty genuine laugh.

Those two looked completely normal, as if the world were normal and nothing had ever happened today.

After a few moments, I took a few more steps, then stopped. My body froze.

Shin was thirty meters away, maybe something less.

I stood there with my chest heaving from all the Olympic run and tears still falling from my eyes. I was still gripping my phone tightly with my injured hand. 

I looked at him and took a deep breath to calm down and then put my phone back into my pocket.

He was there. Alive, warm, real, and surely mine. The only one who would never betray me. 

This time, the lone wolf replaced the little girl who wanted to hold her mother. I wanted to run to him and throw my arms around his neck, burying my face in his chest and then never come out for the rest of my life. 

He was my safe place. My only safe place where I could be myself without being scared.

In that moment, when I saw him, I couldn't move. 

And it was surely not because of Sora. I wasn't feeling any jealousy towards her, for some reason. Maybe I was too busy being broken to think about my own insecurities.

I couldn't move because he looked happy, in some ways.

He was standing at those gates at the end of an ordinary Tuesday, laughing, with paperwork under his arm and nothing on his mind. 

Judging from his expression, he probably thought that my message was something like "I NEED YOU, SHIN! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU! ♥♥" A positive one.

He didn't know, of course. I didn't want to shatter his smile. But... I also needed him.

I wanted to feel him. I wanted him to tell me that everything was alright.

'I'm sorry to ruin your day, Shin...' I thought.

Come on, I was about to cross the road with mascara down, my face a complete mess, and blood dried across my hands.

I won't deny that I was also scared. Scared that he would be bored with such an idiot like me...

Intrusive thoughts.

Life can be seriously ironic sometimes.

Not long ago, I saved his life, acting like the superior one and talking about the masterpiece he was... but now? I am the crybaby now. The roles have reversed. Hilarious.

Suddenly, the cold wind came down the street and stung my cheeks.

Thirty meters away, Shin said something to Sora, and she nodded before she lifted her hand in a small goodbye. Then she started walking in the other direction, surely toward her home.

After that, he was alone.

He pulled out his phone and then looked at it. I saw a confused look on his face, probably because I hadn't replied to him. 

Then, his head came up, and he started looking in every direction, probably scanning every single thing.

He was surely looking for me, since I had told him that I would come to pick him up after he had finished his festival stuff.

I felt... much better, for some reason.

'He's so adorable...' I thought.

I took another deep breath, trying to calm down, and then wiped my face with my sleeve, but it was useless, because the tears kept coming. The mascara was probably everywhere. I must have looked like a complete disaster.

But I didn't care. I was sure that he would've loved me even if I was a monster.

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.

I tried again.

"Shin."

That was a small, broken sound, and nobody would hear it from thirty meters away. So small the wind should have carried it away before it reached him.

But, for some reason, he turned anyway.

His eyes found me almost immediately, as if he'd already been searching in the spot where I was standing.

For a few instants, he didn't move.

And then, I watched his expression change. 

The warmth he had while talking to Sora had vanished in the blink of an eye, replaced by something way more serious.

His eyes saw every single detail of me in an instant: my hand gripping the phone, my ruined mascara, and even my tears. Everything.

After that, he crossed the street without even looking at the passing cars. He didn't care, and he didn't even slow down.

He practically ran towards me, and in less than thirty seconds, his hands were on my shoulders.

I felt... much better.

"Akane..." He whispered, worried.

I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

I tried again, and still the same result. Nothing. I had used all my words in that house, and there was nothing more left in me to form a proper sentence.

I was so tired, empty, that I didn't know where to start.

That's why I immediately stepped forward, with my hands finding the front of his jacket and pulling him into me. I then rested my hand on his chest, feeling his heart beating under my cheek.

'So warm...' I thought, forgetting about all the winter air.

Shin immediately wrapped his arms around me, pulling me deeper into the embrace. 

After that, I cried. I let it all out, but silently, making sure that nobody else would see me.

"Sorry, Shin *sob*, I'm gonna wet your shirt again," I said, burying my face into his chest even more.

After my words, he didn't speak. Instead, he started caressing my head, like he was saying, "It's all right..."

Without even realizing it, my body was shaking, and my breath came in ragged gasps against his shirt.

One of his hands kept caressing the back of my head, while the other one was pressed flat between my shoulder blades, holding me upright.

He kept staying silent, just holding me, in the middle of a street, while the evening wrapped around us.

I was sure that someone was staring at us, but I didn't care in the slightest. 

Being embarrassed to stay in the arms of the person you loved the most was certainly not for me.

I don't know how long that hug lasted. Probably long enough that his jacket was soaked under my face and long enough that my sobs turned into something quieter.

"Shin..." I managed to say. "I... I saw my mother." I held him tighter.

His arms also tightened around me. Not too much, but... I felt it. That was his reply.

He didn't ask where, how, what she said, or what happened. He just held me tighter, and I felt his chin come down against the top of my head, breathing slowly and calmly.

That was enough.

He had understood everything, and he knew that I would tell him everything later, on the couch, after I'd calmed down.

After a few other minutes, he pulled back just enough to look at me.

His eyes went to my face first. Then, down.

He gently took my left hand and turned it over. He was touching me like I was made of glass.

The blood had dried in four small crescents across my palm, with a smear along the heel of my thumb where I'd gripped the door handle.

For some reason, the cuts had opened again, and a thin line of fresh red sat in the deepest one.

I saw his jaw tightening and his eyes widening a little. It was just like the time when he saw my wound on my wrist.

He remained silent, not saying anything about it. 

He just gently closed my hand between both of his, covering the cuts, and held it there for a moment.

I didn't feel any pain. Nothing.

Then, he lifted his other hand and brushed his thumb across my cheek, wiping the wet trail of mascara and tears with a slow and careful stroke.

"Let's go home, Akane," He spoke quietly. "Our home."

Our Home.

Two simple words, but with an immense meaning behind them. And he spoke like... we were a married couple.

Without replying, I nodded against his hand. "Yes... Let's go, Shin. Please." I whispered, my lips curving into an invisible smile.

He smiled, and then wiped the other cheek with the same careful thumb and a tenderness I had never seen.

After that, he took my wounded hand in his, gently threading his fingers through mine, avoiding the cuts. 

"Does it hurt, Akane?" He asked, his thumb caressing my knuckles. 

I shook my head. "No... it doesn't, for now, at least," I said.

"Tell me if it hurts, okay?" He asked, smiling.

I nodded. 

And then, we started walking, together.

This time, I let him lead.