My Dearest General: It Has Always Been You

Jiang Jinyan only saw her face turned ghastly, then in the next second, she fell slack to the ground, eyes staring ahead blankly as she gasped for breath. The accident in the hospital flashed through Jiang Jinyan's mind: hyperventilating.

He didn't have any time to think further as his body moved before his brain did. He positioned the girl's body straight and tilted her chin up. He cupped her cold cheeks, the end of this sentence contained a tremble that even he didn't notice. "Shi Nian? Can you hear me?"

She looked at him blankly, the lights in her eyes dimmed as if she didn't recognize him.

Jiang Jinyan's brows furrowed as he counted her pulse. He kept count in his heart, his face growing grimmer by each second. "I am Jiang Jinyan. Can you hear me?" He leaned down, eyes staring straight at her. Amidst her panic, his voice was akin to a sharp beam of light piercing through the darkness, strong, calm and steady. "Shi Nian, I am Jiang Jinyan.. Look at me, see who I am."

Jiang Jinyan kept talking to her for a while. Shi Nian's pupils shrunk and gradually started to focus. Her fingers twitched and Jiang Jinyan grabbed hold of her, wrapping her cold palm with his warm one. "Look at me. Don't look anywhere else. Yes, that's right. Focus on me just like that."

Shi Nian looked up at his solemn face, the rims of her eyes reddened. Her body chilled as if she was submerged in an ice cellar, the only source of warmth came from her hand which was being held tightly and securely.

She was pulled out from that dark and suffocating place and in front of her wasn't the devil, but Jiang Jinyan.

General Jiang Jinyan. The man who saved her life.

The feeling of being lifted from Hell to Heaven brought forth immeasurable grievances. Her whole body felt weak and she was unable to show a strong exterior. All she wanted was to snuggle against him to seek comfort and warmth.

Tears slid down the corner of her eyes as she murmured weakly, "General Jiang…"

"Yes, it's me. Don't be afraid." He responded swiftly. "Now, follow my lead."

Shi Nian looked at him without blinking.

Jiang Jinyan silently sighed in relief as he massaged her cold fingers one by one. "Relax your shoulders. Don't be scared. I am here. Now, inhale through your nose…yes, that's right." He guided her carefully. "Purse your lips and exhale slowly. Yes, very good. You're doing very great, inhale again…now exhale…[1]"

Shi Nian was like a puppet as she followed his every word. Her eyes could only contain his figure and she held onto him tightly like a drowning man would. Inhale, pursed her lips and slowly exhale…

Her heartbeat gradually calmed down and the illusion disappeared. Cold winds gust by and she shivered, her nose itching to sneeze. Jiang Jinyan saw through her discomfort and lifted the girl's up by her shoulders, letting her lean onto his body. His calm voice flowed out steadily. "Inhale…exhale…yes, just like that. Good girl."

Shi Nian let her body relax and closed her eyes tiredly. Jiang Jinyan's chest was wide and his body temperature was higher than average. Being enveloped by him was akin to being covered by a warm blanket, so comfortable and serene.

His voice, his hands, his embrace…they slowly calmed her down until her fear subsided.

Shi Nian buried her face into his chest, listening to his rhythmic heartbeat and soft breathing above her head. Jiang Jinyan's movement paused for a moment but in the end, he let her be. Shi Nian heard a long sigh above her and opened her watery eyes, peering up at him with sad and nervous eyes.

"How do you feel?" he asked softly.

Shi Nian nodded. She used the tip of her fingers to trace his arm. [Thank you.]

Once again, he saved her life. Chasing her nightmare away and offering her boundless security. Shi Nian's shoulders quivered minutely as she took in a shaky breath.

Jiang Jinyan noticed her movement and glanced down tentatively. "…Are you crying?"

She shook her head but buried her face deeper into his chest. Subsequently, Jiang Jinyan felt dampness on his sweater, the hot liquid quickly turned cold due to the wind, seeping from his sweater to his skin and from his skin deep into his heart, making it twinge slightly.

The former awkwardness between them was gone, just like that. Jiang Jinyan lifted his head and pretended that he noticed nothing. However, the tremble under his palm was too palpable to be ignored and he grew worried.

"Don't cry…" He stroked her head gingerly.

As if finding an outlet to her suppressed emotion, Shi Nian's tremble grew worse. Sniffles and sobs escaped from her lips and she shifted to hug his waist, pouring out all of her grievances, unease and dread. Just like that time in the hospital, when she cried and clung onto his feet, reluctant to let go.

Shi Nian didn't know for how long she had cried but when she came to her senses, the fabric on his chest was completely drenched by her tears. She wiped her face and distanced herself, her swollen eyes trailed up nervously.

She was ready to receive any cold and admonishing glance but conversely what she got was his softened expression as he brushed away the hair that almost got into her mouth. "Don't worry about it."

Shi Nian sniffled, embarrassed. Fortunately, because she had cried her face crimson to begin with, the additional blush didn't look as conspicuous.

"Are you feeling better?" His arms lowered to grab her arm, two fingers pressed across her wrist.

Shi Nian nodded bashfully. She fumbled for her phone and typed rapidly. [I am not usually like this.]

A low laugh slipped from Jiang Jinyan's lips. "Then, how are you usually like?"

Shi Nian knew that it was his way of asking why she suddenly collapsed. Nervous, Shi Nian didn't know how to say it. It was too complicated and if she started to talk about her fear of butterflies, then she had to explain about the serial killer. Shi Nian's face twisted. She didn't want to talk about that person.

Jiang Jinyan saw that her face crumpled like dried tangerine peels and felt his heart softened. "Okay, let's save it for later." He stood up and reached a hand out. "Come on."

Shi Nian looked at his palm in daze. The scene from her past life overlapped with the present. In her past life, he had also reached his hand to her like this when he saved her from the execution ground. This life, he saved her again from the fear that could take her life.

Warmth permeated her heart as she put her hand onto his and let him pull her up.

However, Shi Nian overestimated herself as her legs gave out beneath her. She didn't even realize that her legs were still trembling from the aftermath. Jiang Jinyan moved fast and caught her before she fell down again. 

She gave an embarrassed smile. Before she was ready to try again, Jiang Jinyan had slipped his arm beneath her knees and lifted her up in one swift movement.

Shi Nian gasped and held his shoulders in surprise.

"Hold tight," he said as he stride forward and brought her down the stairs.

Shi Nian struggled, her eyes thick with concern. "Your legs," she whispered.

Jiang Jinyan didn't respond as he descended the flight of stairs with ease, even with an additional burden weighing 48 kilograms. He jutted his chin and grunted. "Push the door open."

Left with no choice, Shi Nian could only reach out to push the door. However, she didn't expect that there would be someone standing beyond the door. Instantly, three pairs of eyes met in midair.

Xu Binchen's movement of opening his door paused. He looked at both of them back and forth before focusing on Jiang Jinyan. His expression chilled in an instant. "What is happening here?"

.

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[1] What Jiang Jinyan guided her to do is 'Pursed Lip Breathing' It's the technique designed to make breathing more effective by making them slower and more intentional. For more information, you can search on it in Google. It's effective for hyperventilating especially in cases like Shi Nian where she hasn't lost consciousness yet, her mind is still clear and more importantly, there's no paper bag around like in dramas (・▽・.)

Warning: if you're not a pro like Jiang Jinyan then call for ambulance asap okay?