My Dearest General: It Has Always Been You

Warning: manipulation. You have been warned :)

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Could someone tell him what was going on right now?!

Jiang Jinyan's breath faltered abruptly and his entire body froze. It was only a moment later that he realized he was still hugging her tightly. Shi Nian's whole body nestled into his chest with his head buried into her shoulder and his back leaning against the wall for the girl to cushion on.

Their position couldn't be intimate enough.

Jiang Jinyan's brain buzzed and in two seconds, numerous thoughts had run through all over his mind. What was this situation? Why was she here? When did she come? Why was he hugging her? More importantly, was he…was he forcing himself on her?!

Jiang Jinyan sluggishly pinched his arm and jolted from the pain.

He sucked in a shaky breath.

He's not dreaming…

This wasn't a dream.

A soft hum came above his head and he froze again, resembling a rock statue. Jiang Jinyan closed his eyes, desperately wishing that something would fly down from the sky and ram into his head so that he could die and let it end once and for all.

Shi Nian stirred and her arms around his waist tightened. Jiang Jinyan felt her pulse quickening as her chin moved from above his head. Upon seeing that his eyes were still shut, she sighed in relief, her nerves loosening. Her fingers gingerly moved to his head, caressing there softly.

Jiang Jinyan had to exert all of his willpower so as to not jump in shock.

Before he could react, he heard her voice saying, "General…"

Jiang Jinyan's mind jolted. The first thing that came to his mind was: finally, she was speaking again, and only after that did he register what she was talking about. General? What General?

Shi Nian sighed softly.

He felt her presence looming in front of his face. He could feel the girl coming closer…and closer. Jiang Jinyan's eyeballs twitched violently behind his eyelids. As he felt her breath brushing against his face, he couldn't endure it any longer. His eyes opened wide at the same time Shi Nian leaned down to give his forehead a soft kiss.

Two pairs of eyes met in midair. Similarly stiffened, similarly wishing that they could just drop down and die.

The two intimately entangled people separated in a blink of an eye. Jiang Jinyan dashed away like a pouncing cheetah while Shi Nian scrambled backward as if she had wind beneath her feet. They turned their heads away simultaneously.

Jiang Jinyan put his hands against the railing as he took in a deep breath, trying to sober himself up with the cold wind. It didn't work though, so he just blurted out the first thing that came to his mind. "Why did you call me 'General'?

When the question fell, he thought that it was very reasonable. He was quite curious too, so he waited eagerly for the girl's answer. When he got no answer after a while, he braced himself and looked at her sideways, only to find the girl's face so pale that it was scary to look at.

Startled, he asked, "What's wrong?"

The fluorescent light on the rooftop flickered and who knew from where it popped up from, a large, blue butterfly flapped its wings as it fluttered in the air. Of course, Jiang Jinyan didn't realize it as his attention was wholly focused on the girl's blank eyes.

"Hey." He took a step forward. "Shi Nian?"

Shi Nian's pupils shrank and she felt the ground beneath her disappear as she plunged deep into the darkness. And within the boundless shadow where light couldn't reach, only the blue butterfly shone vividly, so bright that she wished she could reach her hand out to grab the light, but she knew that she couldn't.

Because the butterfly wasn't hope, but despair.

Everytime he came, he would turn on the light and slide the metal panel through the butterfly-shaped window. Only his eyes were shown, curving up without emotion as he found her huddling on the bed, shivering in fear. "You have just spoken, aren't you?"

Shi Nian stared at him in fear and shook her head desperately.

"No?" He drawled. "Don't lie to me. Haven't you just talked to the woman in the opposite room? Let me see, what were you two talking about?"

There was a pained groan. Hearing that, Shi Nian's blood ran cold. She couldn't move her limbs at all, as if her feet were nailed to the ground.

He enjoyed her terrified expression as his hand yanked on the woman's hair. "Speak. What were you talking about?"

Shi Nian didn't know what the man was doing, but the woman suddenly screamed shrilly, begging. "Don't kill me, don't kill me! I will tell you! She…she said that everyday at 6 pm, you will come on time to bring us food." The woman sobbed. Albeit trembling, she spoke smoother after starting. "On Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, you like to sit for twenty minutes longer. She said that…she has a way to bring us out…"

"Ha…" He chuckled, amused. "Out? You want to get out?"

"No, no…I don't want to…spare me, please spare me." The woman cried in pain. "It doesn't have anything to do with me, it's all her! She's the one who planned everything…"

Shi Nian's head buzzed, color drained from her face. Without her realizing, she had backed herself to the corner of the room, gasping and hugging her trembling body. It's over. He knew it. Now, she couldn't escape alive anymore…

Tears blurred her eyes and Qiang Fei's face flashed in her mind. How sad would her mother be if she found her corpse? How worried was she when she disappeared for so long?

Shi Nian waited for her fate, the light in her eyes dimming by each second. Yet nothing happened. The serial killer looked at them back and forth before focusing on her. "You can actually grasp my habits. How remarkable! It's been two months since then, but your spirit hasn't broken yet." He threw his head back and laughed heartily. "Amazing! So amazing! You're the first person who has persevered against me for so long. It's kind of a pity for me to kill you. Why don't you become my partner instead?"

Shi Nian looked at him incredulously, shaking her head hard.

"You don't want to?" Smile vanished from his eyes and in the next second, blood splashed from the gap under her door, followed by the woman's desperate scream. His hands moved to inflict torture yet his eyes stared straight at Shi Nian, shining in frenzied and manic lights. "Speak ah. I told you to speak, why do you keep on shaking your head?"

Shi Nian clamped her mouth shut, tears streaming down her face.

He sighed in pity. "I really like you, little girl."

It wasn't known what the other woman went through, but her screams turned into inhuman screeches, as if she was going through unimaginable pain. Sounds of struggle and flesh hitting flesh could be heard and the scent of blood permeated through the air. "Kill me…just kill me!!"

Shi Nian covered her ears with both palms and pressed her back against the wall tightly, bringing her knees up as if it was the only thing she could do to not hear the desperate holler and pleading.

"Let me give you a choice. If you speak, I will kill her. If you don't speak," He paused and chuckled. "Well, I can't think of a better option. Why don't you tell me instead? But oops—if you speak, she will die. What should we do, then?"

It wasn't long until the woman's screech reached its peak and all of a sudden, everything turned silent. Just like that, as if the world had cut apart the space in front of her, separating her from everybody. Shi Nian could only hear her own harsh breathing and chaotic heartbeat.

Yet in the next second, he spoke. His voice thundered around her ears. "She died..." His eyes turned to her, accusing. "She died because of you! IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!"

Every time someone died, he would turn to her with accusation. "See, it's all because of you. If you've just been a bit obedient, if you have just obeyed my words, they wouldn't have died!"

"Remember it, they died because of you!"

Because of me…because I was talking to her, because I pulled her into my plan…because I didn't give up...because I kept on searching for a way out...

The condemnation reverberated in her mind, over and over again, shackling her like a curse.

I shouldn't speak…shouldn't speak again from now on. If I didn't speak, then they wouldn't have died. If I didn't speak, then everything would be fine. No one would die.

Narrow room. No window. Ultimate darkness that caused her unable to tell days and lights. Rusty bed. Mottled bedsheet. Brownish blood stain. Stuffy air. Desperate screams. If this place wasn't Hell, then where would it be? In front of her was the evilest of all demons, one that she wouldn't be able to win against.

This was a neverending nightmare. And until the blood dried, the only lights Shi Nian could only see was the butterfly, and from there, the demon could see her. Saw her terrified look and laughed.

"Shi Nian! What's wrong with you, Shi Nian?!" Shi Nian's eyes cracked open with difficulty. Her chest was hurting and every breath she took was excruciating.

Shi Nian turned over, hugging her body and gasped for breath. Her sight went through Jiang Jinyan toward the perching butterfly, its wings glowed under the iridescent light. Tears blurred her vision as her lips parted, yet no sound came out.

I'm sorry, it's my fault.

I shouldn't speak again from now on.

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A/N: Are you shocked to see everything changed all of a sudden? (ʃƪ¬‿¬) Now, you know why Shi Nian can't speak and even if she can now, she is still reluctant to. Don't worry, everything will be better in the next chappie, she's just recalling the terror she felt those days