Chapter 2415 - 2234: Blossoms on the Other Shore (Part 4)

Chapter 2415: Chapter 2234: Blossoms on the Other Shore (Part 4)

After I had such thoughts, I was simply terrified. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe these were truly the thoughts from the depths of my own heart. Why would I have such ideas? These thoughts were too frightening, completely beyond my imagination. I couldn’t fathom what within me had led to such a conclusion.

Facing the biology teacher’s enthusiasm time and again, I should have responded more. Time and again, I held up textbooks and hefty reference books that could kill someone, ran to the podium, and tried to look hungry for knowledge. Still, the teacher opened a new round of tests. My guilt—I’ve done this more than once. I studied so hard again and again; all I wanted was to get what I desired, but ultimately found I had gained nothing. Sometimes I feel I am both petty and generous, because I don’t know how I should act to change everyone’s opinion of me, to stop them from mocking me. I am an orphan with no parents to accompany me. I have endured everyone’s ridicule. I don’t even know the taste of being completely ridiculed. No one can experience that ridicule, no one can truly understand the suffering and the enormous mental pressure it brings to me. Time and again, I force myself to be different from others, but ultimately, what do I achieve? Time and again, I drive myself into the abyss of pain. I’ve never achieved the ending I wanted—all just to satisfy what my grandpa wanted to see. Too much, I paid too much, just to prove to you all that I had given everything time and again.

I really don’t understand what you parents were thinking with that assignment. How could you conceivably think one day you would abandon your son? Sometimes I really don’t understand, it’s like my innermost self has become a window that can’t be closed; no matter how the cold wind blows in and out, there’s no way to shut it. Because I know, deep inside, I’ve collapsed, reaching the brink of collapse. There’s no way to make everything as happy as it once was; everything weighs heavily on my head, suffocating me. Time and again, I wonder whether I should tuck my tail and live my life discreetly. And yet, again and again, I wonder why I should do so, as I have no guilt toward anyone. Why should I need to tuck my tail? I should walk proudly, letting everyone know, letting all those who look down on me realize, that they will pay a heavy price for underestimating me—and I have done it.

Dad and Mom, perhaps you find me terrifying like this. You never imagined your son would turn out this way, right? Even though the wonderful times when thousands rush over a single-plank bridge have passed, we all forever walk the tightrope. Back then, it seemed as though test papers multiplied overnight, fluttering in the classroom like snowflakes. At first, people asked where so many came from, but gradually no one asked—they habitually grabbed them to work on. The teacher had said, if you pick up a test paper and work on it, it means you’re in a state of learning. Looking back now, I realize I had entered that state prematurely, which gradually altered the course of my whole life, leaving me numb. I only remember how time swiftly passed, yet the calm surface bred deeper undercurrents. The silent Zhong Xinyun—an explosive outburst, with its epicenter not anyone else but the untapped potential within myself. No one knew it was driven by the grievances I endured alone over many years, bursting forth in fierce power. They thought I had cheated to get the best results in the class. At that time I wanted so badly to cry, having given all my effort, only for the result to be suspicions that my efforts were gotten for nothing. No one considered how much effort I had truly put in, nor did anyone realize my effort and the results were proportional.