Chapter 2414 - 2234: Blossoms on the Other Shore (Part 3)

Chapter 2414: Chapter 2234: Blossoms on the Other Shore (Part 3)

I tried my utmost to surpass everything, to transcend my utmost limit, which implies the impossibility of transcendence, and this impossibility signifies death. I pondered how I could make all of this different. I am not boasting about myself, because deep down I am always thinking about what I should do. I know I must have ideals and not fantasies; passion, not pretentiousness. I should be content with what I have, but I can’t help it. I love happiness to surround me, but time and time again, I personally mess up all the happiness. I make all the rhythms unbearably chaotic. I make all of this so lonely. I make everyone leave, again and again. I am the one who forces everyone to see through me, never wishing to stay by my side. Everything is my own fault, and who else can I blame for the consequences of my actions?

When everyone came to promote something to me, I had no reason not to believe them, just as I couldn’t believe myself. Because I know, besides myself, there’s no one else I can trust. I have to make my life like everyone else’s, to even surpass the best lives of others. I want everyone to know that even if everyone is a fool, I alone don’t need to learn the hard way. It’s only a true fool who can’t learn from 13 experiences. I’m not stupid, but at the very least, I don’t admit I’m a fool.

When I’m in my most painful moments, and the light drizzle is falling outside, I choose to slowly walk out and absorb the scent of nature. But every time I step out, the storm descends—a downpour drenches me each time. The smell of the storm is unbearable for me. Whenever it rains, I tell myself inwardly that it will stop within an hour. Maybe these words sound ridiculous, but I didn’t actually consider that it would stop an hour after I said them. Sometimes I’m truly grateful. Can it be that heaven really hears every word I say? Can it truly change because of what I say? If this were true, then why have all the past pains I’ve experienced never changed? Why has it never tried to stand from my perspective to consider anything? Why hasn’t it attempted to bring my family to stay with me? Why everything I have isn’t what I most desire?

"As parents, we understand the pain you have endured, but in this beautiful world, you shouldn’t have so many complaints. You should look forward. Only by looking forward can you discover that your life isn’t really like this, and you can find that your life can genuinely be very happy. If you keep tangling yourself here, how do you think your life is supposed to be happily lived? Haven’t you thought about what kind of pain you’re causing your family with all this? You always think your life is perfect, but you’ve forgotten; your actions might be causing even more serious harm to your family. Shouldn’t you be concerned about what your family truly wants in their hearts?"

"Mom and Dad, sometimes saying these things to you seems meaningless. I just want to pour out everything deep inside because I know I have become numb and indifferent, I’m no longer who I used to be. Once and again, I push myself onto this path. I have no choice; again and again, I force myself to be different because I want to be strong. I want all those who look down on me to forever know that I am the strongest, giving them no reason or qualification to despise me.

Do you know? Back when I was studying, I got a remarkably high score in biology. That teacher gave me a strangely approving smile. I could hardly believe it because he had never smiled at me so kindly before, but that gentle smile didn’t bring any special recognition to me. All I knew was that he’s always been that way; nothing more. My repeated uncertainty eventually ended my glory. Reflecting on my little successes in the past, they were indeed desperate battles after many failures. The so-called beloved soldiers must win, and the resolve to risk everything—all of this was something my teacher couldn’t understand. When I saw the biology teacher filled with confidence in me, at that moment, happiness was pure. The ignorant are not only fearless but also carefree. How wonderful is ignorance? At that time, the teacher always thought I was suited for studying biology, but I didn’t believe it. Facing a lab coat, holding a test sheet, or looking at a microscope was a life I always kept at arm’s length. Instead of studying polymers or DNA, I’d rather be a forensic pathologist. I can cut a corpse in an autopsy, find some holes, eventually bringing bad people to justice and clearing the innocent, but the innocent are the dead. The work of a forensic pathologist is much like corpse flagellation.