Chapter 70: Don’t

Astrid

I woke up still thinking about how close I’d stood to Reed the night before, how he’d waited instead of closing the distance himself, and how the memory didn’t embarrass me anymore. It made me want to try again. A few days ago I’d wanted them as far from me as possible. Now I wanted to be close to them, not because I was obligated, not because of the bond, not because they were suffering through their rut, but simply because I wanted them. That realization sent my heart racing before I’d even gotten out of bed.

I got dressed and went to breakfast, and instead of sitting across from the twins, I took the seat between them. Xander glanced at me, then at Reed, then back again. "Someone’s brave this morning."

"Eat," I said, reaching for my food.

He smiled. Reed didn’t tease me at all. He simply watched, careful and quiet, and I understood he was waiting to see whether this was another moment of uncertainty or something real. I decided to show him it was real.

Throughout the morning I let myself be closer to them in small, deliberate ways, walking between them instead of ahead, letting my fingers linger a beat longer than necessary whenever Reed passed something to me, not flinching when Xander leaned in to show me something on his phone. In class I caught myself watching Reed’s jaw tense, his attention drifting toward me before he forced it back to his notes. Xander wasn’t doing much better, his teasing thinner than usual, strain running underneath it.

Being close to them was clearly affecting the rut again, and instead of frightening me, that knowledge made me curious.

"See something you like?" Xander asked when he caught me staring.

"No," I said immediately.

"Liar."

I glared at him, though I couldn’t stop smiling.

Later Reed said my name quietly, his voice controlled. "Are you doing this deliberately?"

I knew exactly what he meant. "Maybe," I said, and that single word told him everything.

That evening, back at the apartment, we spread our project materials across the table like always, though the atmosphere felt entirely different. I sat beside Reed and slowly let my shoulder rest against his. He went still immediately. I didn’t move away.

Xander noticed from across the table. "Astrid. You’re doing it again."

"Doing what?"

"Pretending you don’t know exactly what you’re doing."

"Maybe I don’t."

He laughed quietly. "You’re dangerous when you pretend to be innocent."

Reed wasn’t laughing. He was watching me, and finally he said, "You don’t have to do this."

My smile faded. "I know."

"Then why are you?"

I looked between them both. "Because I want to."

The silence that followed changed everything in the room.

"Astrid, our rut isn’t gone," Reed said.

"I know."

"Being this close makes it worse."

"I know."

"You might not realize what you’re encouraging."

My heart pounded hard against my ribs. "But I do."

He looked away for a second, clearly fighting something inside himself, and I understood then exactly how much restraint he’d been holding onto. I reached for his hand, and he let me take it, our fingers lacing together.

"Do you still want me to stay away?" I asked.

"No," he said, immediate and honest, and warmth spread through my chest at the sound of it.

"Then I won’t," I said, and moved closer.

He didn’t come to meet me. He waited, exactly like he had the night before, and I understood what that meant. If I wanted this, I had to be the one to close the distance myself.

I lifted my free hand to his face. His eyes met mine, and neither of us moved for a long moment. Then I leaned in and kissed him.

He froze for half a second, not from reluctance but disbelief, like he couldn’t quite trust that I’d actually chosen this. Then he responded, slow and deep, and I realized something surprising. I’d thought being kissed by Reed would feel like losing control of myself. Instead it felt like I was finally taking hold of something.

When we separated, he kept his forehead close to mine. "Are you sure?" he asked, quiet.

"Yes," I said.

He closed his eyes for a moment, visibly affected, and I felt suddenly bold, aware of Xander watching us from a few feet away.

I turned toward him. His usual playful expression barely held together.

"You’re really determined to ruin my self-control tonight, aren’t you?" he said, breathless.

"Maybe," I said.

He shook his head. "Trouble."

I reached for him and kissed him too, and it felt entirely different from Reed, warmer, more open, all his teasing dissolving the instant our lips met. When we separated, he looked at me differently than before.

"You really wanted to do that?" he asked quietly.

"Yes," I said.

His expression softened. "Okay."

That single word mattered more than any celebration would have. He wasn’t gloating. He was making sure he’d actually heard me.

Their restraint started cracking after that. Reed’s breathing had changed, and Xander kept flexing his hands like he was fighting to keep them steady. Their wolves were clearly responding to having me this close after days of careful distance, though neither moved toward me without invitation.

I understood, standing there, that I’d become the one controlling how close we got.

"I don’t want you pretending you don’t want me anymore," I told them.

"We’ve never pretended," Reed said.

"Then stop running from me."

"We weren’t running because we wanted to," Xander said, strained.

My chest tightened. "I know."

I touched Reed’s chest, then Xander’s arm, and both of them went completely still. Reed caught my wrist gently, not to stop me exactly, just to steady himself.

"Astrid," he said. "You need to understand this is different now."

"I know."

"And if you’re only doing this because you feel sorry for us—" Xander started, quieter than I’d ever heard him.

"I don’t," I said, cutting him off. "I don’t feel sorry for you." I paused. "I want you."

The three of us stood close together, tension thick in the air. Reed looked at me like he was fighting every instinct in his body. Xander’s usual mask had disappeared entirely.

"Astrid," Reed said, his voice rough. "If you don’t want this, say so."

Xander stepped closer, then stopped himself. "Tell us you want us to stop."

They were giving me one last exit, one final chance to step back from all of it.

I thought about the girl who’d arrived at Moonshade terrified of everyone around her, the girl who’d once begged them through a locked door to reject her. Then I thought about everything they’d actually done since. They’d waited. Respected every boundary I’d drawn. Let me choose, every single time, even when it cost them.

And now I knew exactly what I was choosing.

I shook my head, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Don’t."