Chapter 84

If there was one thing Sophia was sure of as she slowly returned to consciousness, she was far too hot. As hard as her body tried to shed heat, it seemed to have little effect. It remained trapped in and around her skin, baking her, suffocating her. Her extremities were soaked with perspiration as they desperately tried to keep her body temperature stable, but they could only do so much on their own.

Open your mouth! Stick out your tongue! Breathe!

The instinct somehow felt both obvious and strange to her autonomic nervous system. Part of it argued that wasn’t how her body had thermoregulated itself in the past, so why would it now? But the other part countered that the objection made little sense. Venting heat by sticking out her tongue was obviously the correct way to go about it, and whatever method her body thought it remembered couldn’t possibly be right.

Finally, the instinct won out: her lips parted, and her tongue extended. She started breathing through her mouth in rapid bursts, and her temperature stabilized. Although still uncomfortably warm, her body no longer felt it was in immediate danger of dangerously overheating.

With the immediate crisis addressed, her brain turned to trying to sort through the utter chaos that was the information pouring in from the rest of her body. Almost every part of her body felt wrong, almost malformed. Yet, there was an odd sense that the dissonance had been even worse just a short time before. Still, part of her persisted in pushing a different conception of how her body worked, even if it had never felt quite right.

As the two sides of her subconscious fought over the proper mental map to use for her physical body, her slowly recovering higher cognitive functions pushed a different need to the fore. She stopped panting for a moment, worked her throat, and expelled a small volume of modulated air:

‘Mischievous Nose?’

Her own utterance sounded impossibly distant, but its meaning held greater significance than anything else ever could. She was one half of a whole, and the deepest parts of her soul needed assurance that she was complete. Unfortunately, there was no reply to her query, and her growing anxiety drove her brain to break the impasse it had found itself in as it trained its primary sense towards locating what she needed most right then.

Her pack.

Her mate.

Information from chemicals diffused in the air started to flow into her brain as it tried to find any sign of her missing half. The search became increasingly frantic as the sought-after molecular chains proved elusive. But there were some it recognized; patterns that stoked primal fears within her.

Two-legs!

Human scents surrounded her, and even her own seemed infused with them. Strange, unnatural odors dominated the environment, adding to her growing alarm. Worse, there was an assortment that could only be from a living, breathing human in close proximity. 

Instinct filled the gaps as her brain tried to fully resuscitate and brought her other senses to bear. Her eyes opened and then partially closed as harsh light flooded them. With a groan, she flexed shaky forelimbs and started to clumsily move them underneath her. As she did, her ears flexed and rotated as they picked up loud vocalizations that came from something that sounded nothing like a wolf. On her rear, an appendage twitched as her lower body shifted, trying to get her rear limbs in the proper orientation to either fight or flee.

As the world coalesced around her, she got the ends of all four appendages on the ground and pushed upwards. Unexpected weight from something draped over her sent adrenaline surging through her blood, finally bringing her to full consciousness. Scents, sounds, and images began to take on meaning again.

What happened? Did I change? Is Shadow here? Where’s Candice?

“Sophia??? Is that… you?” A frantic voice echoed loudly in her ears, and she reflexively folded them as much as she could.

The human odors still invoked fear in her, but now there was something familiar about them. Her tongue flicked over her nose, wetting it, as she turned it in the direction the individual’s scents were coming from. They were as complex as any animal’s, and her earlier terror subsided as she marveled at the wealth of information she found. She only knew how to interpret some of it, but her olfactory lobe was certain they could only belong to one human.

It’s… Candice. She leaned forward. Wow, I’ve never smelled a person properly. I can tell what she’s been eating, her emotions, even what part of her cycle she’s in! Excitement turned to embarrassment, and then to concern. I probably shouldn’t tell her the last one.Wait… Is she hurt?

Sophia took a step towards her friend’s right hand, the movement coming surprisingly easily to her as muscle memory that had lain dormant for a month reawakened. Her nose twitched rapidly as she investigated the disquieting odor coming from the palm of Candice’s hand. It was still the smell of her friend’s skin coming from that part of her, but there was something sickly about it, as though it had been damaged somehow. The scent grew fainter as the hand was drawn away from her, and she realized Candice had taken a step back.

“Sophia, please say something; you’re really worrying me.”

Why? Sophia cocked her head and swept her ears back in confusion, and then she noticed the presence of a different set of smells. Wait, is the door open? Cautious excitement rose as she moved her head around, sniffing. I can smell outside! 

Her tail started swaying happily as she greedily drank in the scents of trees, animals, mountains… everything. While it wasn’t anywhere she was familiar with, just the thought of running through the snow on all fours in just her fur again sent her heart racing. Muscles contracted, and she started to pad forward.

I probably shouldn’t, but maybe a few minutes outside would be okay…

Suddenly, something moved across her vision and landed on her nose. She was so surprised, she nearly tripped over her own limbs as she backpedaled.

“Sophia!”

She… she hit me! What the hell? Why did she hit me?!?

Sophia brought her attention back to Candice, the corners of her lips fluttering as they started to pull into an angry snarl.

Wait, what happened to Candice’s face?

Forgetting about the insult, she stared at her friend in bafflement. She could make out and identify her friend's eyes, mouth, ears, and nose, but she couldn’t put them together as a distinctive face. There was a human in front of her, it didn’t show any obvious signs of aggression like bared teeth, and that was as much as the visual part of her brain recognized or cared. Focusing, she tried to recall what her friend looked like, but couldn’t quite form a coherent picture. With a mental shrug, she turned her attention back to the intricate tapestry formed by her sense of smell.

I suppose that should bother me, but I can ‘see’ so much better with my nose! Still, why does she smell so scared? I think I blacked out when I started changing, but I’m okay now.

Sophia anxiously searched the air for anything that could explain her friend’s panic, but found nothing that could explain it.

Oh, she thinks I forgot who I am. I should probably say something.

‘I’m here; I’m okay,’ Sophia rumbled, but immediately realized she had automatically slipped into Wolfish, which had just made her friend’s panic worse.

Narrowing her eyes, she concentrated, trying to recall how throat muscles, her tongue, and lips moved to produce human sounds. With some effort, she tried to produce the proper sonic vibrations to form human words. However, her head and throat weren’t quite shaped the way her brain remembered.

“Crandif, ahm oray,” she managed.

That feels weird, and kind of hurts. 

“Sophia!” Candice squealed. “Did you just talk? Say something again!”

Hope blossomed in the girl’s scent.

“Ahm rill getting ursed to tis,” Sophia said slowly. “Tauking if hart.”

Come to think of it, I never tried to speak English last full moon.

“Oh, God!” Candice cried, the smell of saline suddenly in the air. “You’re okay!” She lunged forward and threw her arms around Sophia’s furry neck. “I was sooo scared! You blacked out and wouldn’t come to, and then you got so hot that I thought you were going to burn up, and then you started changing, but then you wouldn’t respond to anything I did to wake you for a long time, and I was so sure you were just an animal now!” Her embrace grew tighter. “Never do that to me again!”

I’m a wolf; of course, I’m not ‘just’ an animal. Sophia felt something on her rear stiffen alongside her indignation. Is that…? She didn’t dare finish the thought, even as her tail started fighting with the blanket still covering her as it tried to signal her joy. Damn, I’ve felt so incomplete without it. Even as she basked in the thrill of the moment, a shadow from the knowledge that it couldn’t last loomed. Maybe we can forget about the whole staying human thing if I don’t mention it.

“Till me,” Sophia replied as she fought the urge to pull away from the lock Candice had on her head. “Grrr, sill me.”

Do I have to talk? This is embarrassing.

“And you changed! You’re all wolfy now! I can’t believe it!” Words continued to pour out of Candice. “I mean, I believed you, but… wow.”

Heh, she’s fibbing a bit, I can smell it. 

“Is okay; is had to belief,” Sophia agreed, finding it hard to resist getting distracted by her friend’s scent.

That’s a lot of hair products. Bleh. Giving in, she tilted her nose towards her friend’s head. Ooh, a young two-leg male touched her hair today. She forced air out of her nose to clear it as she zeroed in on where she could still pick up the male’s scent. Is that Mark?

Candice giggled and let go of Sophia. “Hey, stop that, you’re supposed to be trying to be human tonight, remember?”

Sophia’s buoyant mood came crashing back down to Earth as the shadow she had been trying to ignore fully descended.

So much for her forgetting. The scents coming in from outside now felt like cruel mockery. I made a promise…

“Es,” her ears and tail drooped as she looked at the floor. “Oh courrrse.”

“It’ll be fine,” Candice tried to assure her. “We’ll play some games and the night will go by just like that.” Her scent turned to wonder. “But wow, is this what you look like every full moon? I thought you’d have a full wolf head or something, but you’re like a blend of wolf and human! You even still have your hair!”

How far did I go this time? Sophia looked down at her front limbs, or rather hand-paws, planted on the floor. Huh, they don’t seem any different than last month, and the rest of me feels the same. Disappointment tugged at her. My smellprint seems the same, too, but maybe the blanket is messing with it?

Turning her head, she tried to grab the blanket covering her with her teeth, but it was too far away for her underdeveloped muzzle. Annoyed, she tried to shake it off, but it remained stubbornly in place.

Stupid blanket. No wonder I feel so warm.

“Can ooo yelp me get the banket off?” She finally asked in frustration.

“Off?” Candice squeaked, her scent becoming flustered. “But you’ll be naked!”

Ah, right, that is an issue. Her stubby tail tried to curl around her butt in embarrassment. But I want to be a wolf a little while longer.

“Gust or a morrrment,” Sophia pleaded. “Is rrreally uncomforrrtable, peas?”

“Alright, fine,” Candice relented. “Hold on a sec, let me go close the door. It’s getting cold in here.”

But I’m hot!

Before Sophia could object, Candice had darted into the kitchen, and she heard the door close. Immediately, the outside scents disappeared, leaving only the artificial smells of the cabin and its human owners. Resisting the sudden weight of despair, she instead channeled it into a snarl as she finally wiggled out from under the blanket. Her initial relief turned to grief as she finally got a good look at herself and confirmed what she already knew.

I’m the same as I was last time… A plaintive whine escaped her throat as she saw her mostly human legs awkwardly supporting her on all fours. Still half-two-leg. I guess resisting worked.

“Whoa...” Candice’s scent turned awestruck as Sophia snapped her head forward. 

“Ahm no diffent tan lass time,” Sophia reported miserably. “Tuck beteen woof and hooman. A freak.”

“You’re… beautiful,” Candice breathed as she slowly walked forward, her scent sincere.

Wait, what? Sophia’s tail stood straight up in complete shock, and she suddenly felt very self-conscious. She actually means it…

The other girl was too transfixed to respond as she started to circle Sophia. The latter was suddenly all too aware of the eight sensitive spots arrayed along the front of her torso as well as the touch of air on her nethers.

Maybe I shouldn’t have taken the blanket off. Sophia tried to sit on her haunches, but couldn’t get her still human proportioned legs to fold properly, and she had to settle for kneeling.

“You really are a wolf-girl, now,” Candice giggled. “Is that a… tail?”

“Yeth.” Despite her embarrassment, Sophia couldn’t help moving her small tail around as she showed it off.

“Can I… touch it?” Candice asked with a nervous laugh.

Sophia gaped at her and then chuffed in amusement while her tail wagged. “Rrrro ahead.”

Her friend bent over and cautiously reached towards the extension of Sophia’s spine. It jerked reflexively as Candice ran her uninjured hand over it.

“That’s so cool!” Candice commented. “It’s so small!”

“Yeah…” Sophia agreed sadly. “Ahm the aim as ast furrr moon.”

“Oh, was it different before that?” Candice asked, her scent curious.

“Ahv chained morrre effery moon til now,” Sophia explained.

“Oh,” Candice seemed to hesitate. “That’s… great! Carl was right! You just have to resist the wolf instincts to stop changing! We’ll know for sure in the morning, but this is a good sign!”

She smells… reluctant, unsure? Why?

“Ooks tat way,” Sophia agreed and then jerked. “Ay! I aid mah ail!”

Candice’s scent turned sheepish as she hastily withdrew her hand from the fur covering Sophia’s right hip.

“Sorry, I couldn’t resist. It looks and feels just like a dog’s fur!” Candice giggled. “It’s wiry and soft at the same time.”

“Ahm not a dog,” Sophia insisted, although her tail betrayed her amusement.

There’s no way I’m going to tell her it felt kind of good.

“Hat happened to ooor and?” Sophia asked the question that had been tickling the back of her mind at last. “It mells urt.”

“My what?” Candice asked.

“Yer and,” Sophia repeated, lifting her right hand-paw.

“Oh, you can smell that???” Candice asked, her scent astonished.

“Ep,” Sophia replied proudly.

“Wow,” Candice replied. “What else can you smell?”

You don’t want to know.

“Ah acked firrrst,” Sophia reminded her.

Candice opened her hand, and there was a pause before she murmured, “I burned it touching you earlier.” Her scent turned fearful, and the air smelled of tears again. “I was so sure you were going to die.”

I had no idea I got so hot; that’s more than a little terrifying. And Candice…

Sophia rose back onto all fours and swiveled towards her friend, her claws clicking against the floor. As soon as she finished turning, she leaned forward and nuzzled her friend's face with her short muzzle before giving her an empathetic lick across her cheek. Candice’s hand rose to where Sophia’s tongue had brushed, her scent changing to something Sophia wasn’t sure how to describe.

Troubled? Thoughtful? Conflicted?

“I’ll be fine,” Candice said after a few moments. “I just didn’t imagine… Well, I guess I know magic is real now.”

And it hurt her. Sophia looked down sadly at her shortened thumbs and then turned her head to look at her foot-paws as they supported her confidently. I wanted this so much, but didn’t realize who it would hurt. With a heavy heart, she lowered her knees to the floor. Or what I would lose. 

Shadow appeared in her mind’s nose, and grief threatened to swallow her. Placing a hand-paw on Candice’s knee, she let out a mournful whine as she buried the emotion.

“Ah ave to let go,” Sophia said softly to herself, and then, before Candice could ask what she meant, “less get mah cothes ack on.”