Chapter 83

That’s not too obvious, right? Sophia tried to push the piece of wood that she had accidentally chewed off the lower left corner of the bathroom vanity back into place. Maybe Patty’s family won’t notice? The small indents that surrounded the liberated segment didn’t provide much cause for optimism. Add her to the list of people I’ve let down. At least it felt good for a little while.

A drop of red appeared on the floor beneath her alongside a stinging sensation in her lower lip. Probing with her tongue, she quickly located the spot she had cut on the splintered wood. Despite being her own blood, the rich taste gave her a brief surge of excitement. Hunger took her before she could stop herself from licking up the fresh stain on the floor.

Ugh, it would be a lot easier not to do gross stuff if it actually felt gross. She pushed away from the vanity and lay her head down on her arm. Whatever, I don’t even care with how awful I feel. She curled her legs in as tightly as she could against her aching stomach. Eating an entire loaf of bread probably wouldn’t have been a good idea even if I was entirely human.

Frustratingly, she had wanted to vomit for hours, but her stomach seemed hell-bent on denying her even that relief. Nor was relief forthcoming in other ways as her body sought to hoard every possible calorie. The miserable result was her entire digestive system signalling its displeasure at her choice of cuisine but refusing to do anything about it.

It’s not fair that I’m still so hungry! Irrational anger accompanied a fresh burst of pain in her abdomen. I hope Candice is happy; I’m suffering through all this for her. I could be hunting right now! She wanted me to be human, not me!

Then, her anger crested and turned to sorrow.

No, I made this decision. The room blurred as tears filled her eyes. It’s not her fault I fell in love with a wolf, that I want to be something I’m not. She lifted her head long enough to wipe away the trapped tears. It’s not her fault I’m cursed.

Setting her head back down, she tried to occupy herself by counting her heartbeats. However, it was pounding too fast, and she quickly lost count. 

How much longer? She studied her hand, which shone with sweat. I have no idea what time it even is, but I can feel it won’t be much longer.Hopefully, Candice gets here soon.

Not for the first time, she fought back panic over being trapped in the small bathroom in a painfully human cabin that she refused to familiarize her nose with. It was getting harder, though, to keep herself from attempting to tear the door off its hinges, and it had only been her languidity that kept her from losing the battle this time.

Would it really be so bad to give in, to let myself be a wolf? She lifted her head to look at a painting of mountains and trees on the wall. Is what my mom feared worse than this? I felt happy, alive, like I was where I was meant to be. For a moment, she allowed herself to acknowledge the pull on her heart, a tug towards something more than just the wilderness outside the cabin. Even with Candice, I feel so lonely.

Her fingers and toes curled as memories of running through the moonlight snowy field to meet Shadow floated through her mind. Muscles in her lower back twitched as she remembered Shadow’s concern after she had fallen in the snow, and his subsequent indignation at her shock that he could ‘talk’.

We would have understood each other tonight – could have talked things out. Her hand subconsciously moved towards her nose as she ached to draw in his scent one more time. A wolf belongs with her pack. 

Outside, she heard a car rolling up to the cabin, and her hand fell to the floor.

But so does a two-l… human, and I can’t lose what’s left of mine.

Shakily, Sophia pushed herself off the floor, a thin film of sweat glistening where she had lain. Despite the bathroom’s warm, humid air, she shivered as sweat-drenched clothing touched her skin. Sensing release, her whole body tensed, and she pulled herself onto all fours.

I made a promise. Shaking her head sadly, she forced herself to get into a sitting position.

The bathroom reverberated as the main door was opened, followed by the sound of footsteps in the kitchen. 

“Sophia?” Candice called out. “You in the bathroom?”

There was the sound of the lock being turned, and then the bathroom door swung open. Candice stood in the doorway, the skin on her face uncharacteristically tight and pale.

“Ugh, God, it stinks,” Candice complained, recoiling. “And you look awful.”

“I feel awful,” Sophia agreed miserably, putting her hand on her stomach. “That loaf of bread was a terrible idea.”

“You ate the whole thing??? Dang, I’d feel terrible too,” Candice gave a half-hearted laugh. “Anyway, you coming out of there or should I plan on peeing outside tonight?”

“It would be easier just to lock me in here,” Sophia said as she slowly pulled herself off the floor. “And safer.”

“Seriously, I need it,” Candice insisted, bouncing to emphasize. “We can talk once I’m out.”

“Oh, sorry,” Sophia winced as she maneuvered around Candice, who nearly hit Sophia while shutting the door.

In the kitchen, Sophia took a moment to collect herself as her restlessness jumped another notch. Outside, daylight was starting to fade, taking what color the world still had with it. Every part of her yearned to be free of the oppressive confines of the cabin and to return to the familiarity of the territory she and Shadow had claimed. Even the previously intolerable pain in her abdomen seemed insignificant compared to the agony in her soul.

Well, Mom, I’m doing what you told me, but why does it have to hurt so much?

With a supreme exercise of willpower, she turned away from the cabin door and shakily made her way to the living room. Despite her bloated and distended abdomen, she couldn’t bring herself to sit down and started pacing around the room restlessly. 

If I want to be on all fours this badly now, what is it going to be like in an hour or two?

She continued to pace when Candice appeared in the doorway.

“Well, I guess this is it,” her friend announced dramatically. 

“Yep,” Sophia agreed, coming to a stop in front of the fireplace.

“How are you feeling?” Her friend asked. “You don’t look well.”

“Like I’m going to crawl out of my skin,” Sophia told her. “Or my skin will crawl off of me. I feel like I’m on the verge of a panic attack; I’ve wanted to throw up for hours, and still feel like I’m starving. Otherwise, I’m fine; how are you?” She finished somewhat sarcastically.

“Ouch,” Candice empathized as she plopped into a chair. “And I thought my day was rough.”

“Oh?” Sophia prompted.

“I couldn’t sleep last night,” Candice elaborated. “Too excited, or terrified, or both. Like, how do you mentally prepare for your best friend turning into something else?”

“Want to trade?” Sophia asked sardonically, wiping sweat from her forehead.

“Hah, so, what now?”

What do we do now? I suppose we should have planned that ahead of time.

“I guess we wait until it’s dark out, and then I’ll go outside,” she said with a shrug. “Once I’m done changing, I’ll come back in, and you’ll have to help me stay in control until morning.”

“By stay in control…” Candice repeated slowly, rubbing her hands together nervously. “You mean act human and not wolfy, right?”

I’ve never changed with another person present; that shouldn’t matter, right?

“Right,” Sophia echoed. “I thought you said you weren’t worried?”

Will the magic even work if someone is present? What if nothing happens?

Candice inhaled slowly before replying, “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little scared.” She laughed nervously. “I mean, I’m alone with a werewolf in a cabin on a full moon. It’s not like that’s the setup for a horror movie or anything. All we need is an unexpected snowstorm to seal us in.”

“Point taken,” Sophia replied soberly, leaning against the fireplace.

I don’t remember being this hungry or shaky so close to changing. Is something wrong?

“But no, I’m not all that worried that you’ll attack me,” Candice assured her. “But hey, if you do, maybe I’ll become a werewolf too.” She smirked. “Actually, could it be a werehusky? I’d rather be a werehusky.”

“A werehusky…?” Sophia repeated incredulously.

“Yeah! They look sort of like wolves, but they’re adorable!” Candice argued. “Not that wolves aren’t cute!”

“I don’t think…”

“I’m kidding!” Candice interrupted. “What’s really bothering me…” She stopped herself and shook her head. “No, it doesn’t matter; forget I said anything.”

“Candice…”

“Fine,” Candice relented and then took a deep breath. “It’s been bothering me since Saturday. Sophia, where was your mom found again? Where was the accident?”

Sophia stared at the other girl. Why does that matter?It was…

“A road just north of the Tetons, I think,” she recalled, trying to hold off the painful emotions the memory dredged up. “Why?”

“That’s at least an hour's drive from Woodbury,” Candice said thoughtfully.

“And she worked that day…” A chill ran up Sophia’s spine. “What was she doing all the way out there?”

“I don’t know, but…” Candice paused and then grimaced. “Sorry, I really shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Candice…”

“Our goal is to keep you human,” Candice cut her off, “more or less. That’s what you’ve asked me to do, and that’s what I’m going to do. I shouldn’t distract you.” Before Sophia could respond, she started towards the kitchen and then turned. “Sorry, I almost forgot; I saved a burger for you from lunch. You want it?”

What isn’t she talking about?

Sophia studied her friend for a moment and then sighed in resignation. “I feel like I’m starving, but wouldn't be able to eat anything if I tried. Save it for later.”

“Alright.” Candice glanced out the window and blushed. “Uh, do you change with your clothes on or off?”

Oooh, that’s a good point… Sophia’s mind flashed back to her struggles with clothing during the last couple full moons. I probably should take them off ahead of time for once.

“It would be better if I didn’t,” she said as she anxiously started to pace again. “Changing with them on hasn’t been pleasant,” she winced, “or good for the clothes.”

Why do I feel so shaky? Damn it, I would kill for a liver right now.

“Oh,” Candice replied, turning even redder. “Uh, maybe you could wear a blanket outside?”

Ohhhh… This time it was Sophia’s turn to blush.

“Uh, sure, good idea,” she stammered. “I’ll, uh, need help getting my clothes back on, though.” She laughed nervously. “If I change as much as last time, I won’t have thumbs.”

Because I’m supposed to have paws… Sophia realized she was flexing her fingers as though she was running and forced them to straighten.

“Well, I guess we’re both girls,” Candice conceded grudgingly. “I’ll try not to look.”

“Thanks,” Sophia said, and then her mind flashed back to the Halloween Party. “Uh, you weren’t planning on recording or anything, right?”

“It honestly hadn’t occurred to me,” Candice assured her. “Although now that you mention it, you sure…?”

“Of course I don’t want you filming me!” Sophia snapped, and then caught herself. “I mean, I trust you, but it’s too risky.”

“Alright, no recording,” Candice agreed. “What to do for the rest of the night…” She tapped her bottom lip thoughtfully. “Maybe we could play some games? I found some board games and playing cards in the cabinet next to the TV.”

I haven’t explored the cabin much at all; I don’t even know what the couch I’ve been sleeping on smells like. She looked over at the cabinet Candice had indicated. Everything feels so drab and lifeless.

“It might be a little difficult.” Sophia raised her hands and wriggled her thumbs.

“Ah, right, but maybe there’ll be something in there we can work with,” Candice said and then laughed. “Just think! You could be the first werewolf to own Boardwalk! I mean, it’s too bad you won’t let me record you; imagine how funny you’d look as a werewolf holding cards or moving…”

“Candy!”

“Sorry,” Candice apologized sheepishly. “I don’t know, movie? I think they have a DVD player.”

“Maybe,” Sophia said noncommittally as a faint tingling sensation started all across her body. “Shit, it’s starting!”

“Already?” Candice’s eyes went wide. “Uh, you still have your clothes on! Do you have time to get them off?” 

“I should,” Sophia said as sweat started to bead across her skin. “But I need to hurry.”

“Can you resist it?” Candice asked hopefully. “Maybe keep it from happening entirely?”

Sophia carefully masked the wave of horror that went through her at the very prospect.

“No, it’s going to happen whether I want it to or not,” she said carefully.

“Too bad,” Candice replied. “But if not fighting makes you change more, maybe fighting will reverse it?”

Focus; resisting it is what we’re here to do, even if it’s the last thing I want.

Sophia swallowed and looked down at the floor, fighting the desperate urge to run out of the cabin. “I need to get my clothes off.”

“Oh, right.” Candice finally tore her eyes away from Sophia. “Let me know when you’re ready.”

Sophia nodded in acknowledgement and watched her friend scurry from the room. Frantically, she pulled off the oversized shirt she had been wearing for days as the tingling intensified. Reaching around her back, she fumbled with her bra clasp with trembling fingers slick with sweat.

It’s happening too fast!

She finally got the bra off and then pulled off her pants and panties. Stepping towards the couch, she reached towards the blanket she had been using the past several nights, but hesitated.

I’ll have fur; why do I need to cover up? For the first time in days, she felt a sense of freedom and contentment. I’m a wolf; why am I doing this?

“Are you done?” Candice called from the kitchen, jarring Sophia from her thoughts.

She sighed and grabbed the blanket, draping it around her. I made a promise. 

“Finished,” Sophia called out, bristling at the feeling of fabric against her skin once more.

Candice appeared back in the room immediately.

“Wow, your eyes – they’re like wolf eyes already,” Candice commented in fascination. “How are you feeling?”

“I should get outside,” Sophia said tensely as the shakiness she’d been feeling all day suddenly escalated.

“You’re sure you’ll be you?” Candice asked anxiously. “I mean, you won’t try to run off into the woods on me, right? Maybe you should change in here, just in case.”

Fury that rivaled the heat building in her body erupted and she snapped, “I’M GOING OUTSIDE!”

She took a step forward, but her leg collapsed beneath her as her vision dimmed along the edges. A strange burning sensation appeared across her body. Oddly, it was particularly intense in her breasts, butt, and hips.

Can’t think. I want prey so badly.

“Something's wrong…” Sophia slurred in alarm as the burning became painful.

She thought she heard Candice say something, but it was lost in the sound of her own heartbeat pounding in her ears. Vaguely, she thought she felt something touch her arm and then a distant cry of pain. A thick fog filled her mind as she tried to sniff.

I can’t smell; what’s wrong with my nose? 

Clumsily, she reached her hand up towards her nose, bumping the clothespin. Rage at the foreign object surged, and she whacked at it until it popped off. It left a searing trail across her nose.

Who blocked my nose?

Olfactory information poured into her already struggling brain at the same time she felt an itching sensation appear all across her skin. She shook her head, trying to make sense of the jumble. Amidst all the noise, she seized upon the scent of nearby animals. 

Animals with the nutrients her body so desperately needed. 

In fact, there was a big one nearby. Trying to focus on its scent, she willed herself to get onto her paws, pounce, and sink her teeth into its neck.

So hungry… 

Disappointment came crashing down on her when she realized she hadn’t moved at all. Then pure agony cascaded through her as it felt as though someone was yanking on her hands and feet, and everything went black.