Imperfect Desires

Xin Zimen was stunned frozen after she was done talking. He was blankly staring at her and didn't know how to respond to anything at all. He was still in the processing stage. He couldn't understand anything at all. The daughter he thought was dead had been alive but she had been so far away from him.

And he was completely unaware. He didn't even know that his daughter was alive. Suddenly it struck him that Chen Xiu committed suicide. He heard that phrase so many times. His whole body shook. Xiu jumped into his arms and hugged him tightly, "Daddy, I'm fine. Please, stop thinking about it."

Xin Zimen's eyes blurred with tears as his hands instinctively went up to stroke her head. He looked down at her face, "Yo-You're really my Ah-Lin? My daughter?"

Xiu nodded her head vigorously, "I am. I really am."

Just seeing this scene, Ah-Si started crying as well. He went up to his father and said, "Dad, she is telling you the truth."

"And you knew that?" asked Xiao Li in anger.

Ah-Si instantly stepped back and tried to hide away from his brother. 

"Xiu, why didn't you tell us this?"

"Would you have believed me?" questioned Xiu. "You still don't believe me."

"I believe you," said Xiao Li. 

Xiu shook Xin Zimen, "Daddy, why aren't you saying anything? You really don't believe what I said, right?"

Xin Zimen wiped his tears and shook his head, "It's not that. I know you'd not lie to me just to make me happy. I just... You're Xin Zemin's daughter. I..." He again shook his head, "I can't take you from my brother. He loves you so much. And he yearned to have a child for so long."

Xiu's shoulders slumped. Her worries and her father's worries were surely on different wavelengths. Here she is worrying that he won't believe her and here he is worrying about his brother. But she couldn't even be angry at him. It even made her love him even more. Silly daddy!

"Little lass, no, I mean Ah-Lin, you can't tell him this. No matter what happens, you can never tell him that."

Xiu held his hands, "I won't tell him. I didn't plan on telling anything to him. But I couldn't hide it from you." 

He suddenly recalled something, "Back then you cried so much after seeing the photo in my wallet. That's when you learned about our relationship?" Xiu nodded her head. "Your cries broke my soul that day. Silly, even if you had said it all to me back then I'd have believed you. Why did you wait for so long?"

"It was complicated," she replied.

Xin Zimen hugged her tightly. He had been traumatized from the day he saw her crying so desperately. And now that he learned why she cried so much, it was breaking his heart even more. Just thinking about what his daughter had to go through, it hurt even more. 

Everything was a mess in his mind but hugging her brought comfort to his heart that had been missing from his life for so long. He didn't want to let go. It felt... surreal. Indeed, it was surreal. Even if all of it was a lie, he would willingly believe it. But his heart knew, he knew she'd never lie to him.

After they were done crying, Xiu looked at the urn that was right before her eyes and said, "Sorry, mom! It took me too long to come to visit you."

"I don't think she minds," said Xiao Li. 

"Yeah, I also think she doesn't mind," added Ah-Si.

"No one asked you."

Ah-Si pouted at stepped aside again feeling wronged. Was it his fault that he was the first one to learn about Xiu's identity? Why were they upset with him? What did he do wrong?

Xiu chuckled at Ah-Si's condition as they left Xin Zimen alone to talk to his wife. As they came out, Ah-Si was still getting reprimanded by Xiao Li for hiding something like this from him. And on the side, Darren continued to gaze at her lovingly.

"Happy?" 

Xiu nodded her head, "I'm over the moon."

Darren placed his hand over her head, "Good."

She looked up at him, "Thank you!"

"For what now?"

"You're the first person who believed in me," she told him. "I thought if only you believed, I didn't care about the world."

"And now?"

"Now I think if you believe in me, I can make anyone believe in me."

Darren smiled at her, "That's some progress."

"Yes! And the credit goes to you, my Baobei!"

"I should be thanking you, my Sweets. If you hadn't shared this truth with me, we wouldn't have been what we are today." He rubbed her head, "So thank you for believing in me that I'll believe in you."

"Does that sentence make sense?"

"I've been dealing with all your no sense sentences, can't you bear one of mine?"

Xiu giggled, "I can. I can bear all of you."

"Oh, then it's a good thing that I'm all yours." He kissed her forehead softly, "All of me is for all of you." 

"You both can continue throwing this dog food at home," said Xiao Li. "Let's go home for now. I'll host a dinner tonight. And my sweet darling sister is allowed to eat whatever she wants."

Xiu's eyes brightened and her lips parted but before she could utter a sound, Xin Zimen threw a bucket of cold water, "Anything that isn't spicy."

Xiu's eyes dimmed instantly.

Xin Zimen patted her head, "Good girl. Daddy will cook for you himself once you give birth. Okay?"

"But dad, you don't know how to cook," reminded Ah-Si from the side.

Xin Zimen glared at his son, "Then I'll learn!"

Ah-Si and Xiao Li shared a look, "If you say so."

Xin Zimen didn't pay attention to them, he held out his hand to Xiu, "Ah-Lin, let's go home."

Xiu gave him a toothy grin and Xin Zimen saw an image of her childhood in that very moment as she held his hand instantly and said, "Yes, Daddy!"