Imperfect Desires

"Why hasn't she started talking yet?" 

Nora had been curious about this for a while now. She had seen how Jackie started talking at the age of 2. He could clearly make coherent words but Ava only babbled even now. 

"At first, I also didn't understand why she was taking so long to learn to speak but I think I get it now," he said in a voice soft with affection. 

"Is it because of the accident? Is she not able to talk because of my carelessness?" Nora's heart was suddenly being pricked by a needle as she thought about how if she had been more careful, her daughter wouldn't have to suffer this much. But before she could shove herself down the pit of self-blame again...

"Ba-ba-ba!" Ava's voice made Ah-Si chuckle softly.

Nora looked up at him. "My baby girl is saying you think too much."

"She didn't say that," Nora retorted. Her eyes looking at Ava were brimming with affection and love. 

"She did," he argued back. "You don't believe me?"

"I..." Nora was left tongue-tied as she glanced at his face. He seemed exceptionally relaxed and calm at this moment. And the way his gaze was challenging her, she didn't dare to stare for long.

"Normal kids do talk at her age but our Ava is special. She can't be like everyone. So, she's taking her sweet time in learning how to talk." He spoke in a friendly fashion. "Don't think so much. There is nothing wrong with her. She's absolutely fine."

If Ah-Si thought that Nora would be able to give him a complete reply after this, he was really wrong. Because 'Nora.exe' has stopped processing the moment he said 'Our Ava'. It not only sounded natural but also so beautiful that Nora felt like her heart was gonna explode. Her thinking ability had already crashed so she could only nod in reply.

Seeing her smiling to herself, like an idiot, he frowned slightly but didn't comment. Since the time they met again, this was the first time he had seen her acting like this. He had fallen in love with her silliness in the first place. One couldn't comprehend the emotions sparkling in his soft eyes. Even his lips had curled up instinctively as he stared at her face.

After Nora.exe started processing again, she felt an intense stare at the side of her face. She tilted her head to look, and Ah-Si instantly cleared his throat awkwardly while avoiding her eyes. He felt like he was caught doing something he wasn't supposed to.

"By the way, you really don't want to spend more time with Ava? You can really take her with you if you want as long as you promise to bring her back." 

"I want to but I can't," she nibbled on her bottom lip. "Your dad said that..."

"Oh, he must be going on about security of her," Ah-Si rolled his eyes. He knew what his father must have said even without anyone telling him. "You don't have to worry though. He's capable of getting people anytime he wants. If you want to take her, I'll send dad's personal security team with you."

"He wouldn't mind that?" she quirked up her brow.

"He can do this much for his granddaughter," answered Ah-Si while shrugging nonchalantly. "So, if you want..."

She shook her head at him. "I can't."

"Huh?"

Nora pursed her lips before voicing, "I haven't told mom and dad about her. Mom knows about you but she doesn't know that a baby is involved in our story as well. And I'm pretty sure she won't be very delighted to know that I hid such a big thing from her." Nora rubbed her forehead anxiously. "I still don't know how I'm gonna tell her. Mom is still fine but dad must be really so disappointed that I don't dare say a word."

Ah-Si nodded his head in understanding. He really didn't think about this matter. But now that he did, he could understand her very well. After all, he was equally scared to tell his father even though he's a man. It must be even more difficult for Nora as a woman to talk to her parents. 

"Do you need help?" he asked even before he could think it through. The words just rolled off his tongue on their own. He really couldn't control it. "Ahem! I mean if there is anything I can do, I don't mind."

Nora smiled at him genuinely. "Thanks but I think I need to do this alone. No one can help me with this. Well, except for Xiu. She needs to be there. Because the only person who can handle my brother is Xiu."

"How old is Jackson now?" he questioned.

Nora looked at him in surprise. "You... You remember my brother?"

"Is it that shocking?" Nora nodded her head but seeing him raise his brows, she instantly shook her head. He chuckled softly at her reaction while rubbing Ava's head. "I never forgot anything... Not about you or anything related to you."

Even though the last sentence was said in a really soft voice, Nora had heard it and when she tried to look into his eyes, he turned his face away. She could see a blush creeping up his neck and smiled to herself.

"He is seven but acts like my grandpa!" Nora sounded irritated but one could also hear indulgence in her tone. "He's way too smart for his age. I actively avoid arguing with him because I know I'd lose."

"I guess he spends too much time with Xiu," Ah-Si said playfully.

"How do you know?"

Ah-Si was surprised himself. "Don't tell me he really is taking after Xiu."

"He is," Nora said truthfully. "That's why I always tease him that he seems more like Xiu's brother than mine." She was feeling a bit bitter now. "They love ganging up on me."

When did the atmosphere between them change, they didn't even realize it. The only thing they felt was that they were both comfortable talking about anything now. Their status wasn't clear but honestly, their feelings for each other were crystal clear. Because even after years of separation, nothing changed. 

Perhaps the intensity of love increased but it never left. And that's why now, that love was even more palpable than before. One would call these two fools. He loved her, she loved him. But they wasted too long trying to run from their own heartbreak and insecurities.

It wasn't that Nora forgot how he made her cry yesterday but her heart didn't want to dwell on that matter. After learning such a shocking thing from her, he needed proper time to process everything. In the rush of emotions, he spoke whatever came to his mind. She really didn't want to hold it against him especially when he was willing to apologize for it.

As for Ah-Si, even if he felt there was a big gap between them, he was willing to bridge this gap. Because his love for her couldn't let him hate her even in those years when he misunderstood her. And now when he knew everything, he couldn't just stand aside.

Besides, their daughter needed both of them.