Heart of Darkness

Skender watched Roxana laying down the furthest away from him as possible. She was almost sleeping outside the rug and her heart skipped a beat as he went to lay down beside her. The rug was small and she wished it was larger because the distance between them wasn’t enough for her to calm down. Her heart was beating loudly and he could feel the heat from her body. She was bothered and so was he. So why was he willingly putting himself through this torture?

Roxana lay stiffly on her back, afraid to face him and unsure if she could turn her back to him. He, on the other hand, lay on his side and watched her in the dim light that shone through the tent from the fire that burned outside. He had taken a bath in the river just to cool himself before this torture but it was of no use. Especially not when she kept remembering his body and then trying to shut those memories down.

Skender knew it was too much teasing from his side but he couldn’t help it. Besides, she was playing her game so why couldn’t he play his? There should be some repercussions for her lies and disguise. He would make this as hard as possible for her.

“You are almost sleeping on the floor. Come closer.” He told her.

His heart skipped a few beats and he could hear how she held her breath. “I am alright, Your Majesty. I don’t want to crowd you and… you just got clean. I am still dirty.”

“Come closer.”

She turned to look at him this time and he could see the hesitation in her darting eyes. With a gulp, she moved slightly closer. She was not one to be timid but she was well aware this was a danger zone.  And then suddenly her mind exploded with a thousand thoughts. She was one to talk to herself a lot and now she was analyzing the situation wondering what he wanted from her.

Good question. What did he want from her?

Bad answer. He wanted her.

“Closer.” He said, imagining gathering her into his arms and holding her close. Removing those manly clothes to see the woman beneath and let his hands get acquainted with every line and curve of her body.

This time, Roxana moved closer than he expected she would. There wasn’t much space left between them. He could reach for her.

“Your Majesty, I should warn you that I move a lot while I sleep. I am afraid to disturb your sleep.” She said.

As if he would get any.

“Don’t worry. I like to hug things when I sleep so if you come too close I will just wrap my arms around you so you can’t move.”

She chuckled nervously. “You are funny, Your Majesty.” Then she remembered when he held her in his arms earlier. She would like that.

God. He clenched his jaw, fighting the itching of his gums. He would like that too. More than he cared to admit.

Frustrated he closed his eyes, but she kept thinking of it. His hug, the feel of his arms, his scent, and for some odd reason he could not shut her thoughts out. It was as if they crept into his mind. Begged him to hear them and added fuel to the fire in him, that was growing each day. Threatening to burn him to ashes.

“Are you alright, Your Majesty?”

He opened his eyes and found her big ones watching him with concern. He was fighting back so hard that he was trembling slightly.

“The water must have been cold. You are freezing.” She said trying to get up but he grabbed her arm and pushed her down.

“I am alright.”

“You could become sick, Your Majesty.”

He was already sick. These feelings were a disease and he needed to find a cure.

“Are you truly worried about me?”

“Of course.” She said without hesitation.

He looked at her for a long moment and she realized that she was laying on her side facing him now. She stiffened and tried to breathe as discreetly as possible.

Skender fought the urge to reach for and touch her face when she was this close. He closed his eyes again because looking at her didn’t help.

Roxana relaxed a bit when he wasn’t staring at her anymore but she kept watching him in silence. She wanted to reach for his face too. Trace his eyebrows with a finger, and then his nose before reaching his lips. His body stirred at her thoughts and he turned his back to her unable to control himself.

But what could he do about her thoughts? She kept thinking and thinking unable to sleep until he couldn’t take it anymore. He sat up with a sigh, running his fingers through his damp hair.

“Is something wrong, Your Majesty?”

Pressing his lips into a thin line, he lay back again. “No. Why don’t you sleep? It takes me a while to sleep.”

He just wanted her to sleep. Should he just compel her? She planned to drug him anyway.

“You have a hard time sleeping at night?”

“Yes.”

“I can imagine.” She said.

“How so?” He asked curiously.

“You are a king. You must have a lot to think and worry about.”

“You hold me in high regard. I don’t think or worry,” he told her.

She put her folded hands under her cheek and watched him in silence for a while. She didn’t believe him.

What would she think if she found out he killed Henrik? Even he was shocked by his actions and for some odd reason, he felt no regret at all. If he had another chance he would make the same choice again. Not that it was the first time he killed someone, but it was the first time he enjoyed doing so. And he couldn’t tell if all this was him or the destroyer?

“I do hold you in high regard, Your Majesty. I’ll keep you in my prayers.” She smiled.

Even if you knew that I was a demon? Surely you would pray to keep me away then.

It wouldn’t make things easier that she was religious. He wondered how she would react if she ever found out what he was. Would she look for a cross? Perform some exorcism.

“Do you believe in demons?” He asked.

“I do.”

“Do you believe they are evil?”

She wondered why he was asking. “Yes.”

“Then I am doomed to hell.” He said.

She wondered why he called himself a demon. “We all have our demons.”

Yes, but he literally had one. One who was a destroyer and claimed her as his mate.

“What do you think they look like?”

“Demons?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t know.”

“Well, you are looking at one now.” He told her.

“Your Majesty. I am not scared of the dark or demons.”

But you should, he thought.

He adjusted himself so he was looking straight into her eyes. “Don’t you sense something different about me?”

She searched his eyes while thinking. She did sense the difference in him. Most humans could if they paid enough attention. It was a warning signal for them, to run or hide from the predators.

“I do.” She said with a frown sensing that she should be a bit more afraid than she was.

“What do you sense?” He asked her.

Power.

Darkness.

Danger.

Her heart raced again. “I-I am not sure.”

“Are you frightened now?”

“No,” it came out as a whisper.

“You need not be afraid of me.” He wanted to say it in a way that would have the opposite effect but it came out sounding sincere.

She smiled. “I know.”