Heart of Darkness

Roxana went to bed, trying to plan her robbery but she was too distracted. She kept remembering Alexander's smile, when he walked beside her, when he ate the soup, when he put his coat on her shoulders and when he bought her those jewel stones. The ones that looked like his eyes. 

And then when she closed her eyes, she remembered his fingers on her cheek and jaw. In her imagination she let them wander further down her neck and brush over her breasts. She shifted in bed shivering slightly at the thought before dismissing it. She had already let herself imagine further the night before and it didn't end well. She was awake the whole night, her body tingling with some new unknown sensation. 

She had imagined his lips on hers. How would those rose petal lips feel against hers? Would he taste the way he smelled? Like fresh mint. Would it sting so sweetly as mint did?

It wouldn't be the first time she kissed a man but she had never wondered or wanted it. Henrik had kissed her many times, and although it didn't feel bad, it didn't feel good either. And her first kiss was stolen from her, from a boy who thought he was clever by doing so. She had been so angry at that time, wanting to save it for the one. She chuckled. As if she was sure there would be a one. 

Roxana turned in bed, not wanting to think of the past. Soon she would build her future where no one would humiliate her. Once she had enough money, even if she left the kingdom, she could send someone to look for her parents. But it was important she left soon.

In the morning, she left for the castle ready to execute her plan.  As she arrived at the defense quarter a strong hand gripped her shoulder. Roxana turned around to find Sir Fulker with a serious expression. "I am sure you already know his Majesty has requested you as his personal guard. "

"Yes, Sir." 

"There are some changed plans. His Majesty is going on his trip earlier. He is going today and you will go with him."

What? Why? No! This couldn't be happening. 

"I haven't packed any clothes." She said. 

"You will find everything you need in the storage. Pick armors and weapons and very few clothes. Hurry. Then go to the stable and you will be given a horse." 

Oh, Lord.

"Gary and Peter will be there to guide you if you have any questions."

Well, this went to hell. 

"And Rox," He pulled her closer by the shoulder. "Some people with not-so-good plans are following his Majesty on this trip. Keep an eye on him all the time. Remember what I taught you." 

Not to leave the king even if he asked her to. She would risk her life by disobeying him if she had to but she would not neglect her duty  to protect him. Dramatic. But who were these people with other plans? Lord Quintus? 

So now instead of stealing from him, she would have to follow him on some dangerous trip where he could get killed under her watch. She couldn't let that happen. 

No, wait! Roxana, you are not a real guard. 

Still, you can't let someone die. This kingdom and its people need a good king. 

But what if you get hurt? What if something happens to you and you never see your family before you die? 

Ugh. It is not like I have a choice. 

"Rox?" Sir Fulker watched her with a frown. "Do you know something?" 

"No. I will keep an eye on his Majesty. Do not worry." She said. 

"Good. I have faith in you." He said patting her back. 

Roxana hurried to pick up weapons and clothes. She slid into an armor that made her look less like a woman then hurried to the stable.

The stable boy seemed to be waiting for her. "Is it Rox?" He asked. 

"Yes." 

To her surprise, he told her a little about the horse. "His Majesty loves horses, so never treat it badly." He warned her. 

He loved horses? What a sweet man. 

"I understand." She said. 

She took the horse to the gates where she knew everyone was waiting. 

She looked around and her gaze fell on the King in armor. Oh my. Her eyes widened and as if he sensed her arrival he turned to her. Roxana bowed and smiled and he returned it with a slight nod before turning away to speak to Lord Davis. 

There was also Lord Quintus. The shady Lord. He was coming with them and she did not like it at all. He took notice of her and she smiled to hide her dislike of him. He could try something shady and she would make sure he belonged in the shades forever. 

Roxana stopped her vicious train of thoughts and scoffed. Why was she being protective and of whom? To hell with that. She was not going to risk her life for anyone in this castle. She wasn't a real guard. That being said, she would still keep her eyes on the shady Lord. 

Lord Rayven was also coming with them. Hopefully, he wasn't an enemy. She loved his wife so she badly wanted him to be a good person. It was enough that there were already two bad people in this crowd. Lord shady and her.

"Rox," Gary came with this horse. "I see you have elevated yourself through the ranks. What magic have you done?" He asked. 

"Well…" She shrugged. "I must be very likable." 

He smiled. "I heard you won a fight against a giant man." 

"That too." 

Peter was behind him, fighting to adjust his armor. 

"We will be out in the wild now so we need to keep an eye on his Majesty, all the time," Gary told her. 

"I will keep two eyes." She said and she didn't mind doing so. What better sight could there be. She had traveled the world and found a rare jewel. 

"Good. I am glad you are coming with us." He leaned closer. "It will be less boring." He whispered. 

Gary reminded her a little of Fanny. He was taller and looked stronger but he had that boyish look. Bright golden hair, nice brown eyes, and a kind smile. Peter was the serious one. His hair was very short and black and his eyes almost as dark. He was tall with a slight Sir Fulker posture and attitude. The king needed both.

And then there was her. What did the king want from her? She didn't know whether to keep her eyes on Lord Shady or Alexander. 

Roxana counted seven or ten more guards and a few men she suspected to be courtiers. Once they were all ready, the head guard instructed them on how to position themselves around the king and the Lords during the journey. 

Roxana was to ride behind the king with Gary and Peter while the rest positioned themselves at the front and the sides. And then they left the castle. 

"To which kingdom are we traveling?" Roxana asked. 

"We are not really traveling to a kingdom. Just to the border to meet the king of Vrogorn and sign peace treaties if everything goes well. Otherwise, we could be facing a war soon."

A war? Images of blood, fire, cries, and destruction came back to mind. "That doesn't sound good." She said. 

"His Majesty has kept the peace in our Kingdom. Since his rule, we haven't gone to war. I am sure he will find a way." 

She hoped so.

The travel distance was long and Roxana didn't expect to be in so much pain after the long ride. She was only used to riding short distances. Looking around, the others were riding without a problem, while she was close to giving up and letting herself fall off the horse. 

"Are you alright, Rox?" Gary asked when she slowed down because of the pain. 

"No. I am hurting." She admitted.

"You are not used to this." He said with realization. "We will probably stop soon to eat and rest." 

Thankfully he was right. Soon they stopped and Roxana got off her horse and tried not to walk like a crippled man. They rested for a while and had some food and water. 

King Alexander sat with the Lords and while they spoke he was mostly quiet. He seemed absent and didn't eat. She noticed that he ate very little when they had lunch and dinner. How did he keep that body?

Roxana wished they could rest a while longer but it was time to continue the journey. Another long while of pain and she thought she would faint before they stopped for the night.

This time she didn't care for how she walked and made a few guards laugh. "Rox, is it your first time traveling with a horse?" One of them asked as they set up the tents for the night. 

"Yes, sir. I can't feel my legs." She let herself fall on the ground and rested there for a while. 

The guards helped each other set up the tents and put on some fire without her. Some went to bring water from the river nearby. As much as she wanted to help, she just couldn't bring herself up on her feet. She was in real pain. 

"Are you alright, Rocks?" Suddenly Lord Shady loomed over her. 

Ughh, she hated him and his ugly smirk. 

"My Lord. I am in pain." 

He crouched beside her. "Do you need help?" 

She nodded. "Lot's of it." 

He held his hand out. She grabbed it and he helped her up to stand on her unsteady feet. Roxana groaned in pain. 

"Am I ruining my manly image?" 

He chuckled. "You have charm. You don't need masculinity. You have made yourself the king's guard after all."

Oh no. Now he would start to ask her to spy on the king for him. 

"Keep an eye on his Majesty." He told her. 

And I will keep the other one on you, she thought glancing at the king who watched her with a frown. Did he perhaps suspect Lord Quintus as well? Then would he be suspicious of her now? 

Lord Quintus placed his hand on her shoulder and gave her a slight squeeze and a disconcerting smile before leaving her alone. 

The lords and the king sat around one fire and the guards went to sit around another while they chattered and had something to eat and drink. The conversations changed from war, fighting, drinking to women. 

Guards were not supposed to get married so they bragged about the women they bedded and oh, did they talk as if they were experts. Not that she was an expert but she certainly knew more about the anatomy and mind of a woman. It somehow became a race of who bedded the most women. Pathetic men. 

"Rox, you are quiet." 

They all turned to her. 

"Have you never bedded a woman?" Gary asked. 

"I have." She lied. 

"Well, how many?"

She bit her tongue. 

"It is alright. You are still young." Gary patted her on the back. 

"How many women you bed says nothing about your skills to please one." She said. "How many you pleased and whether they begged you to come back is what matters. Pleasing women is not easy." 

They looked at each other, some of them baffled. 

"Are you saying you sleep with women to please them?" A guard asked confused.

Of course. Pleasing women was not a thing. 

"Yes and myself of course. The best experience is when both are pleased. Do you even know what it is like to be with a woman who craves your touch? I bet you don't. If you pleased one, you would never have to chase the rest. They would do the work for you. Tell their friends about your skills and you would be famous among women. Also, a pleased woman is better at pleasing." 

"Really?" 

"Trust me. I am popular amongst women." She said. 

Oh, she would love for these men to go back and actually please the women they bed. She almost wanted to laugh out loud. 

"So… what do you do? I mean to please them." 

"Well, you need to get acquainted with her body. Find out where and how she likes to be touched and kissed. Take your time and then, of course, you need to last long enough and for that, you need fish head soup."

Now they looked at her confused. 

She cleared her throat and got ready to win uncle Benedict some customers while teaching men about women. Two birds with one stone. 

And then it was time to sleep. 

Some guards would stay awake and then they would change each other. Gary, Peter, and Roxana shared a tent near the king's and were the ones to go to sleep first. 

Somehow they squished her between them and she shifted uncomfortably. She moved a lot while asleep so she was truly worried. How was she supposed to relax? 

"Rox!" 

Her heart almost jumped out of her chest at the firm familiar voice. She sat up and found the king standing near the entry. "Come with me!" He ordered sternly and then walked out. 

Gary and Peter looked at her and then at each other. "Hurry," Gary said looking at her with sympathy. 

Why? No!

She pushed herself up and walked out with heart pounding loudly. What did he want? He sounded angry. Did she do something to upset him? Maybe it was when she spoke to Lord Quintus. That man was bringing her trouble. 

When she stepped outside the guards at the fire glanced their way, probably wondering what was going on. She wondered too. 

"Follow me," the king said and she followed him to his tent. 

Her heart never calmed down. She only became more nervous. Once they were inside he turned to her with a serious look. He looked a bit frightening in the dark or perhaps it was just her nerves. 

"You will sleep here with me." He said. 

Huh? 

Her eyes widened. 

"Your Majesty, I don't want to crowd you." 

"You are not. Lay down." He nodded toward the rug. 

With heart beating wildly, she went and lay down. Now she was truly worried. 

"Sleep. I will go wash up." He said and before she could say anything he left. 

What was happening? Why was he asking her to sleep here? Would he try something? She would have to pretend to already be asleep when he came back. Feeling anxious she turned back and forth until she couldn't stand it anymore. What was taking him so long? 

Abruptly she sat up. She was supposed to keep an eye on him all the time. Hurrying up she left the tent. The guards at the fire were gone. Probably left with the King to guard him but she wasn't sure which guards could be trusted. She had to find him soon. 

She hurried into the woods to get to the other side where the river was. She followed the sound of flowing water and then finally arrived. Stepping forward she looked around when she saw the Kings clothes's hanging from a branch and his shoes on a large rock. 

Where was he and where was the guards? The sound of splashing water turned her attention to the river. Stepping over large rocks she got closer to take a look. There she found him in the water, wet and naked under the moonlight. 

Her lips parted slightly as her eyes traveled down his muscled back and firm bottom and then shock caused her to stumble backward. The sound of her footsteps made him turn around and she turned away quickly before she could see more of him. 

"Rox?" 

"Your Majesty, I was worried so I came looking for you." She said staring away.

She heard the splashing of water getting closer. He was stepping outside and she fought hard to keep looking away. Once she heard his footsteps on the ground she stiffened. Now he was standing behind her completely naked. 

"Could you give me my clothes?" He asked. 

"Yes-yes." She hurried to the tree where he hung his clothes. She pulled them down and once she turned around she stared at his face fighting hard not to look anywhere below. Not that his face with the wet hair made her feel any less nervous. 

She had seen naked men many times before. What was wrong with her? He couldn't be that different but as her gaze fell for a moment to his chest, her lips became dry. 

"Are you alright? You look pale?" 

She looked up at his face again. "I am fine." She said handing him his clothes. 

Just get dressed before I can't resist, she thought. 

No. She was a woman, and he didn't know so she was invading his privacy. She shouldn't look. 

"Did you not bring guards with you, Your Majesty?" She asked as he began to get dressed and she watched the river to keep herself occupied. 

"No. I wanted to be alone."

"It is dangerous." She told him and just then she heard something in the woods and her head jerked following the sound. Her eyes searched the darkness and she thought she saw something move between the trees. 

"Your Majesty," She whispered slowly placing herself in front of him, her eyes never leaving the woods. 

"What is wrong?" 

She just turned around, grabbed his arm, and hid them behind the tree nearby. He was still half-naked, but her eyes were focused on the woods. "There is someone in the woods." She whispered. "You shouldn't have come here without guards. I can't protect you." 

"Don't worry. I will protect you." He whispered back. 

She looked up at him, her gaze getting caught in his. His eyes looked even more seductive with those thick wet lashes and she found herself unable to look away until a sudden flapping sound startled her and she jumped into his arms. 

"It was just a bat," he said as she watched it fly away. 

She turned to him realizing that she was pressed against his bare chest and his arms were gently wrapped around her. Startled she pushed herself away. "I wasn't scared. I was just…"

A knowing smile curved his lips. "Of course not," he said leaning back against the tree. 

That smile. This man was no angel. He was the devil and she wasn't wearing her cross. No wonder she was feeling this weak. 

"Could you help me with my shirt?" 

She clenched her jaw, feeling frustrated. "Of course, Your Majesty." She smiled and went to pick up his shirt. Why did she have this strange feeling that he was teasing her? It couldn't be. 

He held his arms out, displaying his damp and toned body. How ugly, she thought. She wasn't the least affected. No. She sure liked shiny and beautiful things. She was a thief after all but this was a no. What use would she have of his body?

The devil in her had quite a few ideas but she pushed those thoughts away as she helped him slide into his shirt. Once she was standing in front of him her gaze fell on his waist. She looked at where he got wounded during the sword fight with Lord Rayven. There was no scar she realized as she closed the buttons on his shirt. Strange. This man, all of him was strange. She couldn't pinpoint what it was but there was something about him. 

"It is done," She said and then realized they would go back to the tent to sleep. 

She would share a tent with the devil at night.. Sin could be involved and then hell would follow.