Chapter 168: Kindred Souls

Vitek held out a jug. “You sure you don’t want some vodka?”

“No thanks.” I shook my head. “I just can’t. I know the second I take a sip something bad will happen and I would never forgive myself if anyone under my care got hurt. Not if it was because I wasn’t at my best.”

Vitek shrugged and took a swig. “Up to you, but in my opinion whoever doesn’t drink doesn’t live.” He glanced around. “I wonder if there are some pickles around here.”

Bogumir took a sip of his cup and gave me a faint smile. “I’m glad I don’t have to carry that burden anymore.”

The way he said it made me feel a bit bad. I did kill his entire team and hung his head from my belt, after all.

“Yeah,” I said. “Sorry that I killed your team. And shrunk your head and hung you from my belt. I did think you were dead, though. I wouldn’t have done it otherwise.”

“The more I think about it, the more I realize they were a bunch of assholes,” he said. “Especially when I see how Kasia and Vasil act. And you, to a lesser degree.”

“Hey!”

“You’re no saint, Hecate.”

“I suppose I’m not,” I said, tilting my head. “I will probably never be one, no matter what people say. But I try to do good. I try to help people.”

“I know. And I’m sure it took a lot for you to come here and apologize to me. That was very mature of you.”

“Not really. I should have done it sooner. I should never have acted like that. But you know…”

“Yeah,” he said. “Me too.”

We sat in silence for some time after that, both men occasionally taking a sip, and me just staring through one of the holes in the wall.

Bogumir looked up at me. “I still can’t believe you put me on your belt. That was messed up.”

“I guess it kind of is,” I agreed. “But it’s a powerful skill. And if I knew you weren’t dead I wouldn’t have shrunk your head.”

“Because you would have killed me.”

“Exactly! Besides, you’re not hanging from my belt now, and you’re very much alive. Just a little smaller than you used to be. You even have arms and legs again. And clothes,”

He glanced down at his doll outfit, then back at me and sighed. “There must be a lesson in here somewhere.”

I pointed at him and winked. “There is. The lesson is don’t mess with Hecate. Or since all of this happened because your buddy messed with Kasia, the lesson should be: don’t mess with Kasia.”

“Or maybe the lesson is: check if the guy is really dead before you hang his head from your belt,” Vitek said.

“Naaaah,” I said. “That probably won’t happen again. I highly doubt there are many other people who can survive as just a head.”

Bogumir took another sip. “You’d be surprised. The things I’ve seen people do. Who knows what’s out there.”

“Tougher than you?” I asked.

“Oh, Hecate.” He shook his head. “We cleared dungeons. Monsters. The inquisitors they send after ‘abominations’ like yourself are something else entirely.”

“Abominations?”

“That’s what they call witches like you. Or demons.”

“Bit rude. But I guess that’s to be expected from the Church of Stvora.”

“They don’t see you as human. They don’t see witches as people. They hunt them down like dogs. I’m surprised they haven’t found you yet. I have no idea how you’ve managed to evade them for so long, especially with the way you act. If they send Arkadiusz after you, you’re dead, you know. You’re strong, but that man can level city blocks with a snap of his fingers. I met him once. Or more like, I just happened to be there when he took on a witch. A single snap of his fingers and she was gone, along with half the street. Everything was gone in an instant. Then he casually walked off like nothing happened. The Church of Stvora has some very scary champions, Hecate.”

I scratched the back of my head. “Oh yeah? That does sound pretty scary. Any more I should avoid?”

“Plenty, but there are three they tend to send in when things get really bad. Arkadiusz Bednorz is one of them. Grzegor Basista and Iwona Kawuza are the two others. They’re true fanatics.” He hesitated for a moment. “And then there’s Milena… who is something else entirely. Technically she is not a member of the Church, but they do employ her.”

“She doesn’t have a surname?”

Suddenly he looked uncomfortable, maybe scared even. “I’m not sure if she does. I mean, people call her Milena the Mad, but I doubt that’s her surname. It’s more of an earned name. And a very frightening thought just entered my mind. If you haven’t encountered any of the three… that might mean that they asked Milena. With a one million gold bounty I find it hard to believe they wouldn’t send anyone special.”

“Or they’re not as good at their job as you think they are. Like you said, they haven’t found me yet. You did—or I found you, depending how you look at it. Which may or may not have been a trap. Just not a very good one. And now I’m not me anymore, I’m Lady Aurelia, mayor of Viswa. Sort of. Sometimes.”

I wondered if [Disguise Self] also worked for my illusion if I took [Stunt Double] and decided this was the perfect opportunity to try it out.

[Stunt Double] acquired.

I summoned my illusion behind the bar, imagining her as mayor Aurelia-me. To my delight it worked perfectly. Vitek looked up from his jug at the illusion, eyebrow raised, then turned to me.

“Good evening, fine people of Viswa,” my illusion said, startling Bogumir, who had his back toward her.

“Good evening, mayor Aurelia,” I said with a salute.

“Why, Hecate, your hair looks lovely today, you must tell me what you use to get it so nice and shiny!”

I giggled. “Aurelia, you are too kind. Your hair looks divine as well, you don’t need any tips from me.”

She giggled and ran a hand through her hair. “You think so?”

Bogumir looked back and forth, then sighed. “Are you seriously complimenting yourself right now?”

“No!” we both said in unison.

“Right,” he said, shaking his head. “Like I said, I’m surprised they haven’t found you yet.”

Aurelia-me and me-me scoffed.

“Clearly, we are masters of subterfuge,” Aurelia-me said.

I gave a strong nod in agreement. “Masters.”

Bogumir rubbed his face and groaned a little. “Maybe you are. You don’t have the… energy of a million gold bounty criminal.”

“Exactly,” I said. “My carefully cultivated persona charms and disarms anyone.” I turned to Aurelia-me. “I think the kindness and warmth in my heart also shines through. People see that I’m a good person. An innocent soul.”

She put her hands over her heart and smiled elegantly. “I see it. You have such a beautiful soul to go along with your beautiful hair. I see the warmth of your heart in the radiance of your skin.”

Her kind words made me a little emotional. Don’t cry, Hecate. “Your words move me, Aurelia-me. You know me too well. It is so nice to have met a kindred soul.”

Aurelia-me wiped a tear from her eye. “I feel truly blessed.”

Vitek laughed and held his jug out to her. “Can she drink?”

She reached for it, but her fingers passed directly through the handle, leaving a momentary ripple in the air. She frowned, then met my eyes. I could see she was about to cry.

“I know,” I said. “I know. We will not be able to do each other’s hair yet, but I will find a way. That I promise you.”

That put Aurelia-me at ease. “Thank you.”

“No. Thank you.”

“You know you’re the same person, right?” Bogumir asked. “She’s an illusion. You’re talking to yourself. You’re crying… with yourself.”

“Please, Bogumir, we’re sharing a moment of deep spiritual validation,” I said, sniffing. “You wouldn’t understand. Your skin isn’t radiant, and your hair… Well, you should probably start with an oil. Either olive oil and combine that with some herbs like myrrh, or rosemary or lavender. Or maybe some almond or pistachio oil. Your hair looks like it could use a bit of moisture.”

“Yeah!” Aurelia-me said. “Take care of those split ends as well.”

“I—” Bogumir started, then closed his mouth. “You know what?” He took a sip of his cup. “I’m just going to drink my doll drink from my doll cup.”

“Just consider it,” I said. “You can borrow mine.”

“That’s… very generous of you, I guess.”

“It is, isn’t it?” I nodded proudly at myself. “It is!”

“You’re so generous, Hecate!” Aurelia-me gave me a thumbs up.

Vitek shook his head, grinning.

I raised my chin at him. “You don’t happen to know of any offerings that can make an illusion solid, do you?”

“Why? So you can do each other’s hair?”

“No, but also yes. But also I was wondering what would happen if I handed in my illusion for the one million gold bounty. Or just the head.” Then another genius idea hit me. “Would I be able to use [Headhunter] on my illusion? Would I be able to hang my own head from my belt? Would I be able to hang five of my heads from my belt?”

“You know what, Hecate?” Bogumir said. “I now understand why they aren’t able to track you down. They simply can’t think the way you do, and they probably never will.”

“Aw,” I said, blushing. “Thanks for calling me a genius. I suppose I kind of am.”

“I… whatever.” Bogumir shook his head, then took another sip.