Chapter 138 - 115: So Embarrassing

Chapter 138: Chapter 115: So Embarrassing

Kuang Biao’s suggestion was nothing short of considerate.

But Huai Yu snorted, "No thanks. I still have some standards. I absolutely refuse to date anyone under the age of eighteen."

After a moment’s thought, she added, "I’m naturally conservative, so I don’t want any interspecies romance either."

Kuang Biao didn’t believe her for a second!

He shook his bamboo leaves, making a loud RUSTLING sound. "Look around this ten-mile radius. Can you find another bamboo more knowledgeable than me? Why are you being so picky?"

With that, he switched to an impassioned yet deep tone: "Don’t set limits on life."

The sheer variety of nonsense coming from his mouth! Were there even any other bamboos within a ten-mile radius besides him?

Huai Yu let out a soft, weak sigh. "But I want a boyfriend who can carry water, wash clothes, build a house, and do the chores for me..."

"Tsk!" Kuang Biao adopted the air of an experienced bamboo. "Lacking experience, aren’t you? If you pay enough points, who wouldn’t be willing to do those things? When you look for a boyfriend, you look for irreplaceability, understand?

"Look at me: tall and slender, open-minded, and extremely well-read. I can even grow bamboo shoots for you to eat!

"From now on, I’ll provide for you!"

His self-promotion was incredibly earnest, but Huai Yu’s heart was like iron.

"I still don’t want to!

"How old are you again? Six or eight? If I went around dating a child, I’d be laughed to death. It’s too embarrassing."

Kuang Biao was speechless.

He shook his bamboo leaves resentfully. "Human age is completely meaningless to plants—OW!"

This scream occurred because Big and Second, growing impatient beside him, had poked him again.

Kuang Biao bobbed his head around. "Hmph! Although I haven’t risen to power yet, sooner or later, you’ll all have to call me Master!"

Looking at Huai Yu again, she had already squatted down and opened her arms toward Big and Second.

"Good pups! Mom’s good babies! I haven’t been able to come see you these past few days. Did you eat enough? Do you want to eat something fresh today? Did Kuang Biao bully you for not being able to talk?"

"AH, AH, AH..."

Big and Second looked at her with their round, beady eyes. Then, flapping their wings, they rushed into Huai Yu’s arms, constantly crying out from their beaks.

"AH, AH, AH..."

"AH, AH, AH..."

It was as if they were accusing her of not visiting for several days in a row. Their cries made Huai Yu’s heart swell with guilt.

It was only then she realized that the steel-needle-like feathers all over Big and Second’s bodies were now softly and smoothly flattened against them. In just a few days of not seeing them, they had transformed from fat, prickly sea urchins into sleek, inflated pufferfish that looked as if they had been licked smooth by a dog.

They weren’t prickly at all anymore.

Pleasantly surprised, Huai Yu stroked their smooth heads, feeling the slight bumps on top, and couldn’t help but say in gratification, "You’ve grown up!"

After speaking, she pulled the basin beside her over.

"Look! Fresh pea shoots. Try them and see if you like them."

The bright green, tender pea shoots—well, they weren’t that tender anymore—were usually Huai Yu’s own meals. But today, she had numbly drunk a pouch of nutrient solution. At this moment, watching Big and Second curiously poke at the green shoots, a steaming bowl of instant noodles came to mind.

She didn’t know why she was suddenly craving it so badly! So incredibly badly! She really wanted to eat it...

She thought, "Aren’t they starting to slowly resume production now? Is no one really making instant noodles anymore? There must be hot and sour rice noodles, right? Why didn’t I see any sweet potato vermicelli at the grain and oil store? Snail rice noodles would be fine too..."

Damn it! What was wrong with her memory? She remembered nothing of what she should have remembered, yet these delicacies that only added to her frustration and cravings were so crystal clear! Just who was responsible for arranging this kind of amnesia?!

So annoying!

Meanwhile, Big and Second spent their days either digging up grass shoots to catch grasshoppers or unearthing grass roots to eat bamboo shoots. Their diet was purely natural, albeit with a touch of pollution. Now, tentatively poking at the pea shoots Huai Yu had brought, their smooth feathers instantly stood on end like steel needles once again!

PECK, PECK, PECK!

They stretched their necks out, wings swept back, and pecked at the basin, making loud CLANG CLANG sounds. By the time Huai Yu snapped out of her daze, she realized that not only were the pea shoots gone, but her stainless steel basin had been punctured with several smooth holes.

One of the pups was even fruitlessly chasing the last little green leaf stuck to the basin, punching several more holes into the metal without managing to get the leaf into its beak.

So, it pecked even harder.

Huai Yu was speechless.

Great. The stainless steel basin had turned into a stainless steel sieve. Now the house had an extra strainer.

She thought, "Maybe next time I should just scatter their food on the ground? Little chicks can scratch around on the floor, so there’s no reason Big and Second absolutely must use a feeding bowl, right?"

She wanted to be a fair and impartial matriarch.

All in all, after three days of not leaving the house, she had ruined two towels, one basin, and a whole basin full of clothes that likely wouldn’t wash clean anymore.