Because I Cannot Hurt You

Han Zongying didn't agree to go to the banquet because Han Huizhong had suggested it to her. She knew that An Guoting would be there too. She found out that the host had business relations with him, so it was natural that he would be present at the banquet too.

She didn't actually understand why she wanted to go. But only one feeling was going back and forth in her heart, and that was to see him again. The past month had made her even more desperate for him. She also wanted to see it for herself once again if he had truly moved on and if he genuinely thought nothing of her.

Han Zongying waited for him at the banquet. Then she saw him coming in. Her heart automatically skipped a beat. She nudged the host to introduce them.

As expected, An Guoting was a little shocked to see her, but it quickly resided. It wasn't impossible for her to be at such parties. She was Han Zongying, after all.

But it happened once again.

An Guoting ignored her. He politely smiled, more like an obligation. Just how two guests greeted each other. He went away and never tried to meet her again.

Han Zongying was left stunned. It didn't seem like An Guoting had really thought about her in the past month or that their meeting at the restaurant affected him in any way. He continued mingling with others.

Tears pooled in her eyes.

Why…

Why isn't he looking at me anymore? Why isn't he affected by me anymore? Has he really...moved on from me?

Her excitement with which she came to this banquet plummeted rapidly into despair. She withdrew herself in a corner and just blankly sat on the couch, watching the party with a dead stare. Her eyes only followed wherever An Guoting went.

Then a while later, she saw him talking with a woman. They were smiling and enjoying themselves. Han Zongying clenched her fists as her heart burned with jealousy.

An Guoting refused to come anywhere near her. But now, he had no qualms to stand so close to a woman and act so intimate with her in front of her. She felt hurt. She wanted to stand by his side and not let some other no-name woman hover around her.

Her heart was in utter chaos. But then she felt a ray of hope as she thought about all that from a different angle.

Han Zongying quickly got up, and as she walked past him, she whispered in his ears. "I want to talk about something important."

An Guoting frowned. He had no interest in starting yet another argument again. At first, he ignored her. Han Zongying waited for him in the room. But he didn't come.

Frustrated, she asked a waiter to tell him her message that she was waiting for him.

The door opened, and An Guoting finally stepped in with a dark expression on his face. "I don't think we have anything left to talk about. I don't want you to dig up the past again and again, Zongying."

She slightly stiffened. He seemed displeased by her behavior but was still keeping a neutral and polite tone.

Han Zongying bit her lip. "You were doing that on purpose, right?"

"Doing what on purpose?"

"Flirting with that woman, what else!?"

An Guoting widened his eyes. "Flirting?" Then he remembered the woman she was referring to. "Excuse me. What gave you that impression? I wasn't flirting with her."

"Lies! You were acting all intimate in front of me on purpose. It's because you wanted to make me feel jealous, didn't you?"

He was stunned. "Zongying. I don't have any reason to do that. We weren't doing what you were thinking. Not like I expect you to trust me. Just like you didn't before."

She froze.

"And even if we did do it, it's got nothing to do with you. We have broken up, Zongying. YOU broke everything between us. I don't understand what gives you the right to ask me this. Did you call me here to talk about this? Really?"

Han Zongying parted her lips but could say nothing. Instead, she trembled and began to cry. "Y-you are lying...you knew I was watching. That's why you stood so close to her."

"The music was loud. We had to stand closer to listen to what the other was saying. We had worked together on a business deal. Of course, we will talk. Zongying, why are you doing this? You have no right to ask me this, and I am under no obligation to answer you either."

"You…" she paled, and panic set in her heart.

He really meant it. He wasn't trying to gain her attention. Han Zongying conveniently misunderstood his intentions.

Once again, she felt his distant gaze - devoid of any feelings for her. His voice didn't have any trace of warmth in it as it used to before. Instead, it was impatient, as if he was in a hurry to leave.

There was a time when he couldn't bear to part from her. But now, he wanted to get away from her as far as possible. Her heart twisted in pain as if a thorn stabbed it. 

"How could you Guoting…? How could you behave like this?" Her body trembled. "I-I have been miserable all this time. Even after we separated, I couldn't forget you... couldn't move on from you," she gasped, "And you...You feel nothing after nine years."

Her cheeks were wet as she looked at him. "I thought nothing about you for the whole last month…B-But look at you. You act as if we are strangers!"

An Guoting stared at her and quietly said, "This was bound to happen after you decided to break up with me. I don't understand. Don't you hate me? I cheated on you, right? So why are you saying these things now?"

He said nothing and turned to leave.

But he was suddenly pulled as Han Zongying hastily grabbed his wrist. "W-wait! Please don't go…" she burst into tears, "Guoting, please don't go...I don't know what I am doing. But I...I really missed you…I really cannot live without you.. L-Let us get back together, Guoting."