Because I Cannot Hurt You

An Guoting shook off his hand. "What? Get back together? Out of all people, are you saying that?"

Han Zongying clutched his wrist. "I am serious, Guoting... I am tired. I really cannot...live with you," she broke down.

There was an air of silence.

An Guoting said, "It's impossible now, Zongying. It's too late already. I don't want us to get back together."

At that moment, for the first time in her life, Han Zongying finally wondered if she was truly wrong in accusing him back then. He didn't seem enthusiastic at all to reunite with her. Didn't that mean he was never interested in her wealth or in using her nine years ago?

But she quickly threw that thought away.

Impossible...I had seen them together. We-we all had. How can it be a lie?

The anger filled in her heart once again, thinking about He Lijuan, and the jealousy set ablaze as she thought about that socialite.

But when she looked at An Guoting, he looked firm and resolute about his decision. There was no option of giving a second chance.

Han Zongying couldn't understand why she wanted this. Something about the whole situation was tearing her apart, yet at the same time, she wanted him too. Desperately. She didn't want him to go farther away than he already had. Not to the point that she couldn't even reach him anymore.

The past month was excruciating for her. She lost count of how many times she thought about him over and over again.

An Guoting was about to leave when she suddenly exclaimed. "Then just one night! We will spend just one night together! Y-you cannot disagree with this, Guoting. Please...you can't…"

An Guoting froze. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. But his jaw clenched in a fury.

As he turned to admonish her, his eyes widened, seeing her holding a fruit knife and pointing it at her wrist.

"You have to agree, Guoting…" She cried hard. "You have to…"

"Zongying," he took a sharp and silent breath. "What are you doing? Throw that knife away."

"No!" She vehemently disagreed. "I won't! I am Han Zongying. You-you cannot walk away like this...You don't want us to get back together…" tears streamed down her cheeks, "then at least fulfill my wish... please…"

She pressed the knife, and blood oozed out of her skin.

"Zongying!" He exclaimed in panic. "Stop it, Zongying!" He took strides towards her, but she said, "Stay back, Guoting. If you move any further, I will cut my wrist right now!"

He stiffened and stopped.

Han Zongying cried. "An Guoting. If you don't want me to kill myself and see my dead body right here, then, please... Please sleep with me just once."

"Zongying you-"

Suddenly, they heard some noise, and as they looked back, they saw a waiter looking inside. He was stunned to witness the scene.

"M-Madam blood…"

Han Zongying was taken aback, but she didn't loosen her stance.

An Guoting quickly stepped out with him and said, "Listen. Please don't tell anybody what happened."

Kong Quan, then twenty-two, was shocked. "Sir. Madam is trying to cut her wrist! We should stop her. She needs medical aid too…"

"I will manage it. I will stop her. But don't disclose this to anybody...what you saw and heard, please don't tell anyone."

Kong Quan hesitated.

An Guoting took out some money, but he shook his head. "Sir, I will not take your money."

An Guoting panicked. "Why? I am begging you, don't let this thing out. She is confused right now. She is going through a lot of things. She doesn't know what she is doing. If this gets out…" he clenched his fist, "you have no idea what people will think about her. She will be miserable. Trust me. I will stop her."

Kong Quan stared at him and slowly nodded. "I won't tell this to anyone…"

"Thank you. Thank you so much," he was relieved.

But the situation inside wasn't. Han Zongying was adamant with her demand, and to make him agree, she deepened her cut with blood trickling out until it was too dangerous to let her go on anymore.

And so An Guoting agreed. With a heavy heart, he thought about his late wife, An Yueqin, and tears filled his eyes.

He never wanted to have any physical relationship with the woman he wanted to marry. He just wanted a mother for Caihong's sake. He didn't wish a companion for himself, physically or emotionally, because he knew that no other woman would be able to take An Yueqin's place. He didn't want to give that place either.

That was the night An Guoting's heart was shredded into pieces. He was forced to sleep with her. Guilt engulfed his heart. He felt as if he was cheating on An Yueqin.

That was the first time he cursed the moment he fell in love with Zongying. 

He was disappointed in Zongying that she never trusted him.

But tonight made him hate her from the bottom of his heart.

The next day, Zongying was extremely happy. She felt guilty for threatening him, and she knew he must be angry with her.

An Guoting had said only one thing to her. "I hate you, Han Zongying. I hate you. I regret falling in love with you. I will never forgive you."

She paled. She had never seen him like that before. She panicked.

But she thought if she gave him some space, he would eventually forgive her. She hoped that the night would rekindle his old feelings for her.

For now, she had to worry about her wound. If Han Huizhong or Han Tian saw the cut on her wrist, they would immediately figure out that something had gone wrong. It wasn't the kind of wound she would get accidentally and explain it that way.

So, she made an excuse that she would live with her friend for a few days until the wound healed.

Days passed by just like that. Han Zongying didn't contact An Guoting. Instead, she waited for his anger to cool down. Then slowly, she began texting and calling him, but he had blocked her number. He refused to respond.

Han Zongying was frustrated by his silence.

"Why is he still angry?"