Because I Cannot Hurt You

*Flashback*

The meeting at the restaurant after nine years with Han Zongying had shocked him. But he wasn't as affected as he had expected. He had thought about it countless times.

How will it go if he ever meets her again? How will he react? 

An Guoting was always afraid. He really loved Han Zongying. The heartbreak she left him was painful. He had cried a lot. He had begged a lot.

And he didn't wish to go through it all over again. That's why he was always scared that if he met her again, he would fall weak. The love for her would bloom in his heart once again. He would want her once again. And that's why he would cry and beg before her once again.

But that didn't happen.

Even when Han Zongying brought the past and accused him of the faults he never did; An Guoting didn't feel hurt. He thought that after so many years, things might have changed. Maybe Han Zongying had realized the truth. 

But he was wrong. But even if he was wrong, he wasn't in pain. He didn't feel hurt the way he did at the time they broke up. Instead, his heart was calm and at peace.

That was possible because of his late wife, An Yueqin, Caihong's mother, who passed away early on in an accident, shortly after Caihong's birth.

By the time An Yueqin came into his life, he was completely broken apart.

But by the time she left him forever, the wound in his heart left by Han Zongying had completely healed.

The sadness left in his life was not because of Han Zongying anymore. But it was because An Yueqin left this world and him forever.

Han Zongying's presence didn't rile him up anymore because An Yueqin had already filled his heart with hers.

So for An Guoting, the meeting with Han Zongying nine years later was just a coincidence. Nothing more than that. It came like the wind that already passed away. He didn't think much of it.

But Han Zongying did.

She didn't let go of it. 

Just how An Guoting had really loved her, Han Zongying had loved him too. That's why she wasn't able to move on. Even after nine years, she couldn't. She was just as heartbroken as he was.

At first, she tried dating other men. But none could replace An Guoting's place. None could make her forget him.

Han Zongying really loved him. And that love had begun to shape into possessiveness.

She knew she had made the right choice by choosing An Guoting. He was perfect. He wasn't rich like how she was. But he wholeheartedly respected her and loved her. He was everything she wanted.

But because she grew more possessive, she couldn't tolerate other women around him. Not even as friends.

There was a time when they had a small argument when An Guoting talked about his good friend, Xia Liqin. But Han Zongying didn't like him talking about her. She was jealous. That ended into a fight which was resolved when An Guoting apologized.

Later on, when Xia Liqin married Han Tian, she had already forgotten that argument. So she didn't realize that her sister-in-law and An Guoting's friend were the same woman.

Her possessiveness grew more and more. That's why when she saw An Guoting and He Lijuan on the same bed that night, she snapped.

She couldn't accept it. Her man had slept with another woman. He had made love with another woman.

The thought of another woman touching him and An Guoting touching another woman made her stomach churn in disgust. She didn't want to be with a man anymore who had kissed and had sex with some other woman.

An Guoting was only supposed to be Han Zongying's. She was supposed to be his first and last for everything. But now, some other woman had claimed him.

Han Zongying became so jealous of He Lijuan that it never allowed her to give An Guoting a chance to speak. She broke up with him but couldn't really forget him.

And then she met An Guoting again.

Contrary to the accusations she was throwing at him from the outside, her heart inside was a complete mess. It was fluttering again. It was racing like crazy the moment she saw him. It made her want him again.

Her cheeks were turning red with her love for him gushing out with a full force that she was hiding under the guise of her anger over his betrayal.

But then she felt it.

An Guoting had changed.

There was a serene peace in his eyes that shook her hard in fear. It rattled her. It confused her.

It made her feel as if she wasn't a part of his life any longer. He had moved on. He had left that past and their relationship behind him.

That thought sent chills down her spine.

She was scared of his distant gaze that didn't reflect the love he had for her anymore.

Han Zongying thought that he would cry and beg again. He would still want her to listen to him. He still had her in his heart.

But An Guoting simply stood there. He said nothing in his defense anymore. It was as if he had given up on it that implied he had given up on her. Forgotten Han Zongying and moved on.

'It was a misunderstanding.'

'So we can call off this date.'

His words had left an impact on her more than anyone might have imagined. For a month, she had locked herself in the room.

She couldn't believe that An Guoting didn't want her anymore.

But she did. She wanted him again. Even though she hated him. It became clear to her when they met again. She never forgot him.

But An Guoting did? Was his love really that weak? She was stuck for nine years, but he had moved on?

Han Zongying had cried a lot. She started missing him more, especially after they met again. Her heart, her mind, everything thought only about An Guoting.

It made her heart feel hollow. Empty. 

To the point that it got filled with the desire to have him back in her life again.

And then came the banquet night.