Because I Cannot Hurt You

"Xiaosi?" Caihong shook his shoulder in panic and turned his face towards her. "Xiaosi, what's wrong?"

The pain in Xiaosi's head was intensifying as he forced himself to remember the past events. He was trying to recall his childhood and that time he lived with his mother but it came blank.

Frustrated and anxious, he tried even harder to remember that only made the pain worse. He clenched his jaw, trying to fight the dizziness.

"I-I really cannot….I cannot remember it, Caihong. Nothing is coming…"

Suddenly, he heard a faint voice of a woman sobbing.

'Why did I give birth to you…?'

'You and him... ruined…life…'

He couldn't see any images but only heard a woman's tragic voice as she cried.

Xiaosi trembled in fear and panic. 

Raped child... Unwanted child...I was an unwanted child.

My mother hates me…? My father had...

"Ugh…" He collapsed on his left knee.

"Xiaosi, stop it! Don't try to remember anything. Don't you recall what Jack Si said? You shouldn't force yourself like this. Let's go back quickly!" Tears streamed down her cheeks.

"I want to remember it, Caihong…" his chest heaved up and down and sweat trickled down the sides of his head. "Was it... really that bad? Did I really make...her suffer…so much?"

"Xiaosi, you-"

"Hey what's happening here…? I was tired of waiting, you know-" Zizi slowly peeked at them and her eyes widened in shock.

"What happened to Xiaosi!?"

"Zizi! Please help me in lifting Xiaosi! He is having a headache. We need to take him to Jack Si as soon as possible."

Zizi didn't waste any time and wrapped his right arm over her neck. "What happened so suddenly? Wasn't he alright?"

Her sight fell on Lei Biya who was looking at the whole situation, feeling utterly confused.

"You again!" Zizi angrily exclaimed. "Did you do something to him!?"

She was taken aback. "What do you mean by that? I was just telling him the past that he conveniently forgot. Here I suffered because of him so much and he was living a happy life, ignoring all the pain he caused me!"

"That's what I have been trying to tell you!" Caihong burst into fury. "Xiaosi doesn't remember anything!"

Zizi looked at her, speechless. "You bitch! What nonsense did you spout to him when he has lost his memory!?"

Lei Biya froze.

"What?"

Caihong gritted her teeth. "You didn't give me a chance to speak! I came here to tell you that Xiaosi has no interest in interfering in your life at all because he has lost all his memories. He doesn't remember anything right from his childhood! He is suffering from a life-threatening illness that wiped out his memory. And you just aggravated his condition because he is not supposed to know any such news that might shock his brain!"

She stiffened.

Caihong wanted to say a lot of things to her but Xiaosi was her first priority now.

"Zizi, let's quickly go."

"En!" She glared at her. "I am telling you. If anything happens to my friend, I will dump you into jail. FYI, my fiance is a cop. Let's go, Caihong."

They quickly left, leaving a dumbfounded Lei Biya standing rooted to her spot.

Lost his memory? Life-threatening illness?

She blankly stood there, unable to move for a long time.

---

"Caihong?"

Xinyi anxiously rushed to her side with Zhiyuan. "Zizi called us and explained everything."

Caihong trembled and burst into tears. "It's all my fault...I just wanted to tell her about Xiaosi's condition but...I shouldn't have stayed there. But when she insulted him so much, it... it made me so angry that I wanted to defend Xiaosi…"

Zizi fumed. "But who is that woman? What past she was talking about? I don't know that Xiaosi knew such a person."

Zhiyuan said, "Same here. Who is she?"

"... His birth mother."

They were aghast. "Birth mother? But isn't Xiaosi an... orphan?"

Caihong slowly told them about his past that Nana had told her a while back. Xinyi gasped in shock.

"I didn't know this…"

Zhiyuan blankly stared at her.

To think that Xiaosi had such a past…

"He didn't tell me…"

Caihong said, "He didn't tell anybody about it. I think he never wanted anybody to know about that part of his life."

Zizi said, "Well I feel sad for that woman but why is she blaming Xiaosi for no reason?"

Xinyi was grim. "Indeed, it doesn't make sense. It has already been so many years. If Xiaosi had to take revenge, he would have already done so."

When Jack Si came out, Caihong rushed to his side, "Xiaosi...how is he?"

"Bad, sister-in-law. If you hadn't brought him on time, he would have slipped into a coma or worse…"

She froze. "N-No…"

Tears rolled down her cheeks.

He quickly said, "Don't cry, sister-in-law. He is fine now. But he really shouldn't force himself to remember things. More than the shocking news, the fact that he tried to recall the past took a toll upon his brain."

"I was telling him not to but!" She bit her lip and tiredly pressed the space in between her brows.

"Can I meet him?"

"En. He is awake."

Caihong stepped into the ward and saw Xiaosi quietly resting with his eyes closed.

As he heard her steps, he slowly opened them and faintly smiled. "Caihong-"

"Shut up! Don't talk to me…" Caihong burst into tears. "Why didn't you listen to me? Do you know what Jack Si said? You could have slipped into a coma or have...died!"

He stiffened then pursed his lips.

She hit on his shoulder. "Do you really want to leave Chyou and me all alone? Do you really want to die, Xiaosi?"

She rested her head on his shoulder and tears plopped on his arm. Xiaosi felt his heart tighten seeing her cry her heart out.

He quickly said, "I am really sorry, Caihong. Please forgive me."

"I won't!" She said without raising her head.

He slowly lifted her head and wiped her cheeks. "I promise I won't do this ever again. W-will you please forgive me now?"