Because I Cannot Hurt You

Caihong jolted, seeing her suddenly raise her voice.

Lei Biya cried. "You won't understand at all! How much I have suffered! It was hell…" she glared at her. "He won't interfere? Then why is he here!? Why does he want to ruin my happiness? The happiness that I finally got after so long!"

Caihong clenched her fists. "Excuse me...Mrs. Lei. I know about your past and I understand what you have gone through. But... Please don't talk as if Xiaosi has lived a happy life. If you have suffered then he has too. Can a child with no parents smile and laugh like other children? Then what makes you say that he was happy?"

"Because he is just like his father! He-he even resembles him so much that it makes me feel sick…"

At first, Caihong thought that if she ever met Xiaosi's mother, she would be extremely understanding of her. Even though she was bitter that she left Xiaosi at the orphanage, she still had a soft spot for her only because she lived a harsh and abused life with Xiaosi's father. As a woman, she was empathetic towards her.

So, it was understandable that she resented that man, but Xiaosi…Why Xiaosi?

Caihong wanted to protest but then she also realized how she treated Chyou for six years and then she suddenly couldn't speak.

She bit her lip. 

Do I even have any right? Wasn't I the same as her? I mistreated Chyou and always pushed her away from me.

We are the same…

Tears pooled in her eyes. She really wanted to defend Xiaosi but she felt she was too hypocritical to do that.

She took a deep breath and looked back at her. For now she only wanted to convey that Xiaosi won't be any threat to her. "Mrs. Lei. Xiaosi has no intention of interfering in your life. Today's meeting was just a coincidence."

"Coincidence! Like I would ever believe that!" She clenched her jaw.

"Mrs. Lei, you really don't need to bother with him because he doesn't remember-"

"I don't want to see his face! I hate him! I hate him!" Lei Biya was hysterical. "I wish I had never given birth to him. He...he looks so much like his disgusting father who-who ruined my life!" She burst into tears. "He assaulted me and he abused me! That's why I hate Xiaosi! Only because of him, I was forced to stay with that man for four years! I will never forgive them."

"W-what…?"

A voice rang from Caihong's back.

She froze. Her eyes widened and she felt her heart stop beating for a moment.

She slowly turned and saw Xiaosi standing behind her, staring at them in disbelief.

"Xi-Xiaosi… what are you doing here?" She stammered. Her forehead broke into cold sweat.

Wasn't he with Zizi?

Xiaosi slowly walked towards them, his legs slightly shaking as he did.

"I was worried about you... You seemed a little tense when you left so I followed you…"

She stiffened.

Lei Biya said, "Good that you came here yourself! I couldn't talk to you in front of Shu because... because my family doesn't know about you and neither do I want to tell them. They shouldn't know about your existence at all!"

Caihong widened her eyes and panicked.

If this goes on then she will tell Xiaosi everything!

She intervened and quickly said, "Enough! You don't have to say anything anymore. Xiaosi, let's leave."

"He cannot leave!" Lei Biya walked in front of him and glared at him with her wet eyes. "He has to answer me! Tell me. Why did you meet Shu? If you are staying away from my life then stay away altogether! Why did you try to contact my daughter!?"

Caihong was confused.

Xiaosi had met her daughter?

But she had no time to think about it. She quickly held his arm. "Zizi is waiting for us, right? L-Let's go back to her."

Xiaosi didn't move. 

He lowered his gaze. "What is she saying…? I don't understand. "

Caihong quickly shook her head. "You don't have to worry. It's just a misunderstanding at the shop that we are trying to clear…"

Lei Biya was stunned. "You...You dare say that you don't understand!? Did you forget those miserable years that I had to live with you and your father who assaulted me!?"

He froze.

Assaulted?

Caihong gritted her teeth. "Please stop it already. You have-"

"Don't interfere! This is between me and him! So you stay away."

Lei Biya trembled. "If only I hadn't given birth to you, my life would not have been so stressful! Every day I live in fear whether we will meet again or not and look? Today we did!"

Xiaosi sharply inhaled.

"Give birth to me...Y-you are my mother?" His voice shook as he asked.

Lei Biya stared at him in disbelief. "You really are as disgusting as your father! First he forcibly slept with me and then made me pregnant with you!"

He froze.

"And now you are asking who I am?" She angrily laughed. "You already forgot my face who was first forced physically and then was forced to raise you?"

"Mrs. Lei-"

"You forgot all those years when your rapist father abused and hit me every time he saw me…" she trembled, recalling those memories. "You forgot that because of you, I lived a horrible life for four years? Haha...as expected of his son, you are just as terrible. He also acted as if it wasn't a big deal to ruin my life and now you are casually asking me as if you don't care either…"

Caihong tried to pull him away but Xiaosi was too shocked to respond. 

"Xiaosi!" Caihong anxiously said, "D-Don't listen to her! Let's go."

"Is this the truth Caihong…?" 

She froze.

"Am I a…" he felt uneasy in his chest. His breaths grew restless and he felt his head slightly ache, "r-raped child?"

Lei Biya laughed. "You are...you are horrible to forget that! Did you conveniently forget everything? Great! Here I remembered those days every moment of my life. I loathed them every second and you lived as if you weren't affected at all! As expected of that man's child."

Suddenly, Xiaosi felt the pain in his head increasing and he pressed his brows in discomfort.

Caihong stiffened as she noticed that.

"Xiaosi?"