Because I Cannot Hurt You

Caihong bit her lower lip. "I really don't feel like talking to you. You scared me like hell. Y-you know how delicate your condition is and you…"

His gaze dimmed. "I can only ask for your forgiveness... Please just give me one chance. Now I will only listen to you, I promise."

Seeing the anxious and pleading expression with which he gazed at her made her heart soften. "This is the last time...We really cannot afford to worsen your situation, Xiaosi."

Xiaosi felt furious at himself for making her worry so much. He had completely disregarded her feelings at that time. Even though he could hear her crying and asking him not to take stress, he still went ahead and forced himself to recall the past.

"I am really sorry Caihong...I shouldn't have ignored you like that. I will never be irresponsible like that again."

When he imagined Caihong and his six-year-old daughter, Chyou, heartbroken if something had happened to him, it made him feel even more guilty.

Caihong sensed the sincerity in his voice and nodded. "En."

Xiaosi smiled.

There was a moment of silence when he asked, "Caihong. That woman...was she really my mother?"

She was about to berate him when he quickly said, "I am not trying to remember anything, I promise. But I already know now. So, I wish to hear the full truth."

She paused and suspiciously looked at him, making him softly chuckle. "I promise."

"...Yes. She is your mother and what she said was the truth."

His eyelashes trembled. "I see."

He silently listened to everything as she slowly revealed his past. His countenance didn't change but in his heart, he felt sadness and grief wash over him.

"She has really suffered…" He faintly smiled. His black orbs shone with a hint of sorrow in them. "I don't blame her for leaving me at the orphanage."

Caihong looked at him, surprised. She had heard the same words from him when she saw the old pictures of Lei Biya.

Even after his memory loss, he held the same feelings for her as he did before.

"You would say that even after how she harshly talked to you today? I know that she has suffered but so have you. She…" she clenched her fists, "she has no right to humiliate you like that."

Xiaosi didn't know how to respond to that but seeing her so concerned for him made his heart flutter. 

"For me, it's enough that you think that way, Caihong."

"Really...why is your heart so big?" Caihong questioned.

He anxiously twiddled with his fingers. "It's you who have a big heart, Caihong."

"What do you mean? I don't understand."

"I mean... you-you want to live with me d-despite my past...My family is like that and I know that no woman would like to really…"

Caihong widened her eyes. "Why would I think that way? Xiaosi, it's not your fault for what happened to her. It doesn't mean that you don't deserve to live a happy life. Don't ever think like that again."

Xiaosi stared at her in a stupor. He felt his heart beating fast. Ever since he woke up, there were a million thoughts running in his mind and one of which was that Caihong was the wife of such a man who had such an ugly past. And then the more he thought about it, the more he feared that he wasn't suitable for her.

Caihong was like a shining white pearl to him, pure and graceful. 

Whereas he with his past felt to him like a stain in her life.

Xiaosi curled his fingers into a fist. "You really don't mind accepting my past?"

Caihong stared at him and flicked on his forehead. He dazedly touched it and stared at her, surprised.

"Idiot. There is no need to accept or reject it. It's a part of you and it's not ugly at all," she smiled. "If you are thinking that you are a stain in my pearl-like pure life then throw that thought out of the window."

He coughed. "H-How did you know I was thinking that…?"

"It is written all over your face."

"..."

"Also, sometimes I feel you treat me as if I am some divine Goddess."

Xiaosi blushed hard. "I-I...not really…"

That was bingo actually. She was nothing less than an angel to him.

She raised her brow. "You mean to say that I am not a Goddess?"

"Of course you are!"

Caihong stared at him and then burst into laughter. "Hahaha, it's so fun teasing you."

Xiaosi pursed his lips.

She shook her head. "But really. Sometimes when I look at you, I can see that you are seeing me as if I am someone standing on a high pedestal. But honestly, I am just a normal human."

"But to me, you are really special."

Caihong jolted. "H-Huh?"

Xiaosi tilted his head and tenderly cupped her cheek. "You are special to me."

She rapidly blinked her eyes and then it struck her tube light head that Xiaosi said something really incredible.

Her cheeks flushed red. His gaze was so honest and sincere that he felt her heart bursting in her chest out of pure happiness.

W-why am I suddenly feeling so shy?

Xiaosi noticed the blush on her cheeks and she looked even more beautiful with that red tinge.

"Can you lean in a bit?"

Caihong blinked her eyes once and bent towards him. Xiaosi lifted his head and gently placed his lips on her crimson-tinted cheek.

She froze.

He pressed his lips for a moment and then withdrew. He slightly coughed, feeling a little embarrassed himself.

"Y-you look cute when you blush so I couldn't *ahem* if you don't mind…"

Caihong blushed even harder. Previously, it was a sneak kiss that night when he kissed on her forehead.

"I d-don't mind…" she lowered her head and shut her eyes. "I remember! I have to meet Jack Si and collect your reports!"

She immediately ran away and shut the door.

Xiaosi blinked his eyes and smiled. "Cute indeed."