Because I Cannot Hurt You

Caihong raised her brow and stared at him. "That is what I should be asking you. Why are you here?"

Xiaosi slightly coughed. "I was just thirsty."

"Then why did you ask for medicine?"

His brow twitched. "It's just some weakness. Nothing else."

"So why did the maid say that you got a stomach ache?" She narrowed her eyes.

He just blankly stared at the air as he tapped his finger on the counter. But his mind was rapidly thinking of what to say next. "You heard it wrong."

Caihong smiled. "My hearing is just fine. If it's weakness, why would she bring medicine for stomach ache?"

"Your hearing is fine, but I think that maid's sight is not fine at all. She needs a checkup. I clearly told her to bring me medicine for general weakness. She bought it for a stomach ache."

Her mouth twitched. After a pause, she looked up at him and said, "You should have told me that you already had dinner. Why didn't you say anything?"

Xiaosi slightly stiffened. 

How could I have said it when you had made dinner? It was after so long. It was your cooked meal. I wouldn't have let that chance slip for anything.

He smiled. "You don't have to worry about me, Mrs. Zhu. I am just fine."

He stretched his hand to take the medicine but she pulled it back. Xiaosi gritted his teeth not because he was angry at her but because his pain was worsening.

Damn! 

He had an urge to hold his stomach, but in front of Caihong, he couldn't.

"Why do you still want to take this medicine now that you know it's for a stomach ache?"

He coughed. He pressed his space in between his brows.

"Stomach ache causes a general weakness in the body too. So indirectly, it is for my problem too…" he slightly felt breathless. He was even staggering a bit where he stood.

"..."

This man!

Frustrated, she took out a pill and handed it out to him. As if Xiaosi got his oasis, he grabbed it and downed it with water. He heaved a sigh of relief and mentally, he already felt relaxed.

Caihong pointed her finger at him. "You! Why did you eat my food if you were already full? Not only did you eat it, but you ate everything! Four full dishes! Are you crazy? You had your dinner and you still sat down at home as if nothing happened. You even lied that you were hungry."

Xiaosi said, "Mrs. Zhu. It's my stomach and my mouth. Do I need anybody's permission to eat food? I didn't feel that the dinner was enough for me so I sat down to eat. Is it blasphemy? Should I die for this sin?"

"It made you sick!" She fumed.

He chuckled. "So? Has that got anything to do with you? Remember? You are supposed to hate me, Mrs. Zhu."

Silence. Time ticked by.

Instead of getting mad at him, she looked away and slowly said, "I thought my food didn't suit you so…"

His eyes widened in disbelief. "What nonsense! It was absolutely delicious. How could it not suit anybody-"

He froze and bit his tongue. Suddenly, he realized that he spoke too out of character. 

Caihong raised her brow and stared at him. His words and his expression weren't in sync at all. His mouth was being rude, but his gaze wasn't.

"Thank you," she softly said, "You just didn't want to hurt me, right?"

She understood it the moment the maid told her the truth. He was simply being sincere and caring towards the effort she put in. She prepared something for the first time. If he had said he was already full, Caihong would have felt terribly hurt even if Xiaosi didn't mean it in a bad way.

Xiaosi trembled. "You are overthinking about this. Don't feel so emotional. I still felt hungry so I ate it!"

He stormed off, but soon as he turned, his foot knocked against the wall. "Ouch!"

"Pfft!" She burst into laughter. "You deserve it. Who tells you to always act so arrogant?"

Xiaosi glared at her but the moment he saw her smile, everything just dissipated into thin air. He fell into a trance seeing her lovely smile. Her beautiful face had the prettiest smile laced on her lips.

All these years, there was only pain and suffering in her eyes. There were only tears in them that cursed him to no end. There was hatred for him in every word she uttered.

So why were things different today?

Caihong said, "Stop acting so brave. You cannot properly walk in that state, can you? I will help you till your room."

He broke out of his stupor and coldly said, "I am fine," and he brushed her hand off.

He didn't know what happened, but he didn't want this closeness. He didn't wish for things to change between them. He knew it was stupid to think that way. The woman he loved so much was talking so nicely and warmly to him that he had only dreamed of it until now. But he didn't want it to be a reality.

Caihong froze for a second. She didn't understand why he acted so distant. Why he always acted cold and rude when she was finally beginning to understand that he actually cared for her in his own way.

She narrowed her eyes and didn't care about what he said. She simply took his arm and started to pull him.

"Hey! Leave me alone!"

She didn't bother and continued pulling him. "I won't."

His face darkened. "Leave me before I shake you away."

"Go ahead. What will happen at the most if you push me away? I will fall. I am fine with it."

I am not!

How could he push her knowing that she would fall and hurt herself?

Xiaosi gnashed his jaw and grudgingly kept quiet. As he finally went silent, Caihong's mouth twitched and it blossomed into a helpless smile.

Seriously... first he eats even though he was full and now he cannot even push me away...

Why do you act so two-faced, Xiaosi?

---

In his room, they finally reached the bedside. Xiaosi coldly shook his arm away. "Thank you, but you don't have to bother with me anymore."

Caihong stared at him quietly and pursed her lips. Xiaosi took support and tried to lay down. 

"I will help," she raised her hand again. 

He stiffened.

"No thanks-"

Because he so sharply turned to put distance between them, the force worked against him and he fell on the bed, grabbing her hand and making her topple on him. They landed with a soft thud as his back bounced.

A few moments later, she opened her tightly shut eyes. Her eyelashes trembled and she froze to his face at such proximity. Xiaosi stared at the delicate contours of her face that made him forget to breathe. Their gazes met and they remained locked onto each other as they felt themselves getting pulled into it.

Xiaosi felt her soft body pressed against his, and her smell twitched his sharp nostrils that urged him to take a sharp breath. In a daze, he gradually raised his hand. The tip of his fingers brushed past and cupped her cheek, making her quiver. 

Caihong couldn't tear her gaze away and neither did she push his hand away that had so warmly held onto her face. She couldn't understand why but in her chest, she felt a soft ache. As she stared into his eyes, she could see her own reflection in his glassy black orbs. 

So close.

At this moment, they were so close to each other.

Inadvertently, the memories of his love came flashing in his eyes. All the time that he yearned for her love and desperately wished for her to become his overwhelmed his heart. A gush of feelings welled within him.

"Caihong…" he whispered under his breath.

Seven years ago, he had no hopes of ever getting the love of his life. It was forever destined to be a one-sided love, and he was destined to live a lonely life because he knew that he would never be able to fall in love with another woman. The moment his gaze fell upon Caihong, his heart realized its answer. He wanted her and nobody else. There was no meaning to any relationship if the woman wasn't Caihong.

Fate did make them marry but in the cruelest circumstances that he could ever imagine. He got the woman he wanted but at the same time, he didn't. She was there with him and yet she wasn't. She was at an arm's length for him to touch her, yet he couldn't. He could only gaze at her from her distance and curse the fate that brought that tragedy into their life.

His fingers clutched onto the back of her head that ever so gently made her face lean towards him. The distance between them kept shrinking and shrinking until their lips softly, lightly but unreservedly met.