Because I Cannot Hurt You

Xiaosi stared at her dumbfounded. His gaze fell onto the tempting dishes that laid upon the table that looked utterly pleasing to the eye and a delicious smell wafted in the air that could make anybody drool.

Before Xiaosi could say anything, Chyou's cheery voice echoed. "Mama cook all dishes?"

Caihong lowered her gaze and noticed her gleaming and sparkling eyes that shone with delight and hope. It was evident how much she wanted to eat her mother's cooked food. Until now, she only had to eat dinner and lunches prepared by the maids. It was a different feeling when it was done by Caihong, and it was the first time.

"Yes," Caihong admitted. Chyou's cute and adorable chubby face was akin to the brightest star in the sky that tugged her heartstrings. She had an urge to hug her.

Chyou fiddled with her fingers and swayed on her legs. "Can I eat Mama's food?"

She was a little hesitant as she asked. Caihong said, "I-I have made enough for everybody…"

Chyou's watery eyes widened in bliss. "Chyou will eat Mama's food! Yay!" She was happily hopping around the table.

Caihong's warm and soft smile left Xiaosi in a trance. His eyelashes mildly trembled upon witnessing the scene between the mother and daughter as if she…

He froze and didn't dare let his train of thought go any further. For a moment, he thought that she began to love her as her daughter. But there was no use in giving false hopes to himself.

His silence was beginning to make Caihong more anxious. She felt awkward and a little disappointed.

Maybe Xiaosi really didn't like it. This is all too weird, isn't it?

She quickly said to avoid embarrassment. "It's okay though. I just had some free time today so I made it. You don't have to-"

Suddenly, she felt a soft gust of air as Xiaosi passed from beside her. He took his seat and rolled up his sleeve. He opened one pot and served a bowl of chicken soup on his plate.

Caihong was stunned.

"Chyou. Come here," Xiaosi said. "Food is getting cold."

"Dada!" She hopped to a seat beside him and he quickly served her a small bowl too. She could hardly contain her excitement and already dug in. It was the first time she had her mother's food, and she was absolutely thrilled.

Xiaosi was about to take a bite but he paused and glanced at her. He raised his brow, looking at her stupefied expression. "Why do you look so shocked? Aren't you going to join us?"

She broke out of her stupor. "You... you are going to eat?"

Xiaosi blinked his eyes.

"Is this poison?"

"..."

The corner of her lips twitched. "Of course not!"

"So why won't I eat? I am hungry."

She realized that the small step she took had actually worked. She was certain that Xiaosi would reject it.

She took her seat opposite him and observed them. Her heart raced in anticipation to know what he thought about her food.

"Mama! It's yummy! I really like it!" Her angelic voice along with her sweet laughter resounded in the hall. "Mama's food is so tasty!"

"Really?" Caihong felt a little relieved. She peeked at Xiaosi and wondered if he would say something.

Xiaosi took the first bite and as it melted on his tongue, his eyes got a little misty. He rapidly blinked his eyelids to clear out the blurriness in front of him. 

Years back, Caihong used to cook a lot and bring lunches to college almost every day. But everything was for Zhiyuan. The gang would shamelessly jump on her lunch including him much to her distaste. 

How long had it been since he ate her food?

He couldn't help but feel nostalgic. Even now, the taste hadn't changed. It was as delicious as it was seven years ago. 

"...it is delicious," he softly whispered.

Caihong thought as if she heard something, but she couldn't quite catch it.

Little Chyou puffed her adorable cheeks and glared at Xiaosi, feeling wronged. "Dada! Say it loudly! Mama did not hear it. Mama cooks yummy food but you say so softly!"

Xiaosi stiffened. Caihong looked away, feeling awkward. He lifted his gaze and stared at her. "The food is really delicious. Thank you."

Chyou nodded hard and smiled. "En! Mama make yummy food!"

Xiaosi cleared his throat. "You should eat it before I finish everything. Don't complain later on that I left you with nothing."

Caihong was taken aback before her lips curved into a gentle smile. Happiness and relief washed over her. "You can eat as much as you want."

The peaceful dinner at the table felt almost like a dream to Xiaosi. They really looked like a proper family tonight as if their marriage never had any troubles.

Was this only a fleeting feeling? Would it be like he would open his eyes and realize that it was his dream all along?

Caihong pursed her lips and after much thought, she finally said, "That…"

Xiaosi looked at her questioningly.

"From tomorrow, I-I can pick Chyou from school if you don't mind."

He widened his eyes. He wanted to ask if she had not hated it before? So why would she…

But he became selfish. He never dreamed nor wished for this peace. He never wanted this happiness. But tonight, he didn't want to break this fragile moment that could disappear in the blink of his eye.

Xiaosi nodded. "Okay."

Caihong beamed and softly smiled. She never imagined having a casual and peaceful talk with Xiaosi like this.

"Mama will come to pick me from school?" She eagerly asked.

Caihong said, "If you want…"

She bobbed her head up and down. "Yes! I want Mama to pick me!"

Chyou always felt sad to see the other kids with their mothers who would come to pick and drop them at school. Even in class, they would talk about their mothers where she couldn't be a part of their conversation.

"Dada is always busy at work. Even in the car!" She puckered her pouty lips and fumed. "Dada always looks at laptop! Dada not listen to Chyou!"

Xiaosi coughed hard. "I do listen to you, angel. It's called multitasking. I can work AND listen to you at the same time."

Caihong raised her brow and softly chuckled.

Chyou said, "Mama will listen to me right? Dada ignores me!" Her small face looked terribly hurt.

She smiled. "I will."

She brightened and nodded. Xiaosi's lips stretched into a thin line, feeling accused like that. Why did he feel as if he was already sidelined? 

He sighed.

---

Late at night, Caihong suddenly got up as she felt thirsty. She walked into the kitchen and felt somebody's presence. She slowly peeked in and saw a shadow. 

She frowned.

She stepped nearer and was stunned to see Xiaosi standing near the kitchen sink. He looked a little pale as he clutched his stomach. His brows were strongly drawn together and it seemed as if he was in pain.

What happened?

From the corner of her eye, she saw a maid hurriedly walking towards her.

Caihong said, "Wait! Where are you going?"

She saw a medicine strip in her palm.

The maid softly said, "Madam, I have to give this medicine to the Master."

"What happened to him?"

"Oh. He is having a bad stomach ache."

Caihong widened her eyes. 

Stomach ache? Was it because of my food?

He was always fine the rest of the days but only tonight, he fell sick.

The maid somehow instinctively felt that Caihong might be thinking in the wrong direction. 

"Madam, it's not about your food," she hastily said.

Caihong pursed her lips. "What else might it be? Maybe my food didn't suit him."

She shook her head. "No Madam. It's not like that. Actually, Master had called in the evening and said that he will already have dinner at his office and then return."

Caihong was shocked. "Huh?"

"Yes. He said to make only the young mistress's dinner. He won't be eating at home. When I returned, I saw that you had already made dinner."

She gulped and hesitated. "Please forgive me, Madam. You cooked something for the first time and I didn't have the heart to tell you that…I thought the Master would say it himself."

Caihong blankly stared at her.

"So...he was already full when he was back?"

"Yes, Madam," she coughed, "I think it's because of overeating that Master fell sick. He told me to bring the medicine so I…"

"Give me the medicine. I will look after him."

She handed it to Caihong and left. Caihong narrowed her eyes and walked into the kitchen. She stepped behind Xiaosi and folded her hands.

"You brought the medicine? Give me," he said without looking back and stretching his hand backward. He was breathing heavily with sweat on his forehead.

No answer.

"What? Give me the medicine quickly or I will die."

He turned in frustration and froze upon seeing Caihong. "You? Why are you here?"