Because I Cannot Hurt You

It wasn't a passionate kiss.

Their lips gently grazed on top of each other. They remained pressed like that for a while, unmoving and unwavering. They simply let that mild yet sweet sensation drown them.

They quivered.

Their lips slightly trembled as they felt the other's presence. There was no rush to deepen the kiss. There was no haste to make it fiercer. 

The kiss had bridged seven year's worth of distance between them. Even if only for a few moments, it broke the inhibitions between them. Letting himself melt into the kiss, Xiaosi gently closed his eyes, and his lips gingerly moved across hers. His fingers delicately tangled themselves in her hair as he tilted his head. 

What was this warm feeling washing over his very soul? What were these emotions gushing within, making him tear up?

It felt like a dream. They shared this sweet, blissful moment. He was kissing the woman he loved so much.

His breaths became messy and haywire. His heart thumped in his chest that slyly threatened to jump out in pure happiness. Caihong cooked for him. She cared for him. She smiled at him how he always wanted to. 

How was he supposed to contain the overwhelming delight and contentment his heart burst into?

He pulled her closer. Tenderly and daintily, he kissed her thin lips as if it was some precious, untainted treasure. His lips clicked into sweet sound as he traced them over her. He trembled, feeling intoxicated. 

Caihong softly gasped as Xiaosi nimbly captured her lips. His thumb was brushing along the contours of her cheek as their lips traveled, wanting to claim the other. Her gaze turned misty with such a gentle kiss.

It made her question if he was the same man who had mercilessly ravaged her that night without a care for her feelings?

If he didn't care about her, then why was he treating her so tenderly at this moment?

Why could she see a hint of wetness along his eyelashes as if it was brimmed in tears?

Their mellow kiss lasted for a few minutes before Xiaosi slowly parted away. Her cheeks were slightly pink and so were Xiaosi's ears. She noticed it, and her lips couldn't help but curl into a soft smile.

So he can blush too…

It was silent. Their eyes stared into the depths as if sucking them in. Nobody wished to break this moment. They wanted to speak but at the same time, they didn't. Because they were afraid that they would have to part away from this warmth and intimacy if either of them said anything.

Even Xiaosi, who swore he would never let his emotions get the best of him, had an urge to be selfish for just tonight. He knew this closeness won't stay for long. This moment was as fragile as glass. He didn't want it to break so soon. Tomorrow, they will be back to the place where they always stood.

Away and at a distance.

Xiaosi gradually shifted his gaze away from her, much to Caihong's anxiety.

But instead of pushing her away as she feared, he gave a slight tug, and her cheek bumped onto his chest. She slid beside him in his arms that wrapped over her head. 

"Sleep," he whispered in a soft voice.

Caihong bit her lip. She raised her head and peered into his dark eyes that didn't have the usual coldness in them. She simply nodded and both drifted away into sleep, quietly shutting their eyes.

---

The next morning, Caihong was the first to wake up. She looked at her side and heard the sound of even breathing. Xiaosi was still asleep.

She recalled their moment last night. Her chest fluttered with a feeling as if butterflies tickled it, and a warm tinge spread on her cheeks. He wasn't looking as pale as last night which meant that his stomach ache seemed fine.

She silently coughed and got up without disturbing him. She hesitated for a moment and wondered if she should leave or stay. 

Caihong's sight fell on his cupboard and thought to take out the medicine strip for another pill just in case. She walked up to the cupboard and held the medicine box that flipped a few pictures in the air that were kept in the back. They fell on the floor.

She quickly bent and picked them. As her gaze sifted through them, she noticed that they were quite older pictures. Most of them had a group of children with three elderly people standing on their side.

Her eyes blinked. Then they widened in realization.

Are these photos of the time when Xiaosi was in the orphanage?

It became clear with the next picture as it showed the signboard - Sun Orphanage. 

Caihong curiously studied the group and recognized Xiaosi's figure as a child. The resemblance was strikingly similar. It seemed that he was around five or six at that time.

She automatically smiled, looking at the photos that showed his child self. He was simply adorable. But he was hardly smiling in any of the pictures. He stood there having a faint expression on his small face that tried to resemble a smile.

And it reminded her in what situation was he left there. A dull pain enveloped her chest, and her gaze dimmed in sadness.

At the very last was another picture, but it wasn't of the orphanage. There was a young woman in it and a child holding her finger. That child was Xiaosi. She had no doubt about it seeing the other pictures.

Is this his mother who left him?

"What are you seeing?"

She got startled and looked back, placing her hand on her chest. Her mouth opened in a small O. Xiaosi was standing behind her with his brow raised, staring at her questioningly.

"D-Don't scare me like that! Don't pop up like a ghost."

He grimaced. "I just came normally."

He saw the pictures in her hand and went silent. "Ah…"

Caihong noticed the change in his expression. "This woman…"

"My mother," he plainly said.