Novel Full Chapter 1929: Cap 1925: Overflowing emotions
Chapter 1929: Cap 1925: Overflowing emotions
Pov Urak:
I couldn’t understand. It had been thousands of years since I’d thought about my parents. I hadn’t even attended their funeral ceremonies because of my work with Vecna and Mavor.
But suddenly, a single memory turned everything I believed to be right on its head.
“BUT WHEN IT WAS YOUR TURN, WHAT DID YOU DO!!???” (me?)
Suddenly, everything changed again. I was no longer in a nursery; I was in an office facing my younger self in an ostentatious office.
We had an entire wall dedicated to my favorite books, in one corner a statue of a mythical beast made of glass that looked a lot like a wingless dragon, a large window behind me, and a sofa opposite the books.
On the large desk, there were two physical keyboards with a virtual keyboard in the middle. Seven holographic screens floating above the desk, organized with six smaller ones divided into two groups and a large main screen right in the middle.
But what was on the table wasn’t work, it was an empty syringe that even after millions of years I still recognize. Sitting in its chair was my past self, staring blankly at that syringe.
“Why don’t we try?” (me?)
“I wasn’t ready.” (me)
“That was before the problems of the Universal Collapse were discovered…” (me?)
“It was also after the company formed by us, Vecna, and Mavor was already a success.” (me?)
“I… I didn’t want a problem back then.” (me)
“We had everything: worldwide fame, more money than we could spend in a lifetime, an enviable career… but every time we walked into our homes… empty.” (me?)
“It’s always been like this…” (me)
She looked at me, her eyes shining as tears streamed down her face. Her face was filled with a loneliness she didn’t want to admit she felt. Soon, those tears turned blood red before finally turning ink black, just like the child version of me that disappeared.
“You were just afraid!” (me?)
“It wasn’t afraid…” (me)
“You were afraid of being like our parents! Always busy! Never present!” (me?)
“The only chance in our lives to have someone to love, and you were afraid!” (me?)
“Wait! Something’s not right!” (me)
Suddenly, I realize my emotions are very intense. Not even when I was a child were my emotions like this, but now it’s like a fire inside me.
That’s when I remembered how I ended up here, I remembered the Bringer of Chaos, I remembered how he was humiliating me and how he did something to me before I showed up here.
“I see, he’s amplifying my most emotional moments… that’s what he coded!” (me)
“You can only be a part of this curse or magic.” (me)
Once I know this, everything becomes easier. Mentally validating these emotions is exactly what I can’t do. This is a trick to increase this influence on me. All I need is to remain rational, as I always have.
“Yes, I shouldn’t let myself be carried away by emotion…” (me)
“Even in this situation, you still want to convince yourself!?” (me?)
“These emotions aren’t fake, and you know it. You felt so lonely afterward that you ended up falling in love with someone you shouldn’t have.” (me?)
My cursed self crosses the table, appearing in front of me and cupping my face. His expression was desolate. That’s when I confirmed it, as the emotion surged within me like someone pouring gasoline on a flame.
“You were alone! You’ve always been alone, but after aborting that child, you couldn’t bear that loneliness anymore.” (me?)
“I managed just fine…” (me)
“You grew attached to both of them, your focus always returning to Vecna, but even so, you weren’t able to tell him anything about your feelings.” (me?)
“My feelings for him were always because of his intelligence and wisdom; you can’t mistake me for love!” (me)
Vecna was always very intelligent; he never stopped researching anything he didn’t understand; his hunger for knowledge was beautiful beyond anything I’d ever seen.
I myself don’t know if what I felt for him was love, but I knew that whatever emotion it was, it was all based on my respect for him.
But no matter how much I tried to deny it, the loneliness was soon overtaken by another emotion, an emotion that consumed my mind, with flashes of memories passing through my mind.
That’s when the world faded once more, with something else emerging from the darkness. This time it was a laboratory, my laboratory, where my nightmare self was wearing my white lab coat.
My research has always focused on management and computing, so I created machines that could produce chemicals in whatever proportions I desired after endless simulations. But this time, what I was doing amidst several empty glass tanks wasn’t a chemical compound.
“You’ve never been truthful with anything or anyone your whole life, not even with yourself… this time was no different.” (Me?)
My nightmare self’s face was already stained with those black tears when she turned toward me. In her hands was a sticker with the number 89 written on it, which she stuck to the glass tank next to her.
“Funny to call it No. 89 when it was the first to be created.” (Me?)
“Born in a glass tube with the genetic codes of two of the greatest minds in the world, incredible, isn’t it…?” (me?)
“…” (me)
The irony in his voice was palpable, but I couldn’t take my eyes off that number. That’s because I still remember what I thought back then; it was still buried in my mind for a long time, like everything else.
The buried emotions are being amplified far beyond what I could feel at the time. Even knowing what they’re doing, I can’t help but feel those emotions, I can’t help but submerge myself in those memories, I can’t deny what I truly felt.
“You used multiple godchildren, but it’s funny that the first feat was this one, yet it was saved for last. If it weren’t for Vecna personally seeking out the experimental subjects… would you have brought him?” (me?)
“You know everything, don’t you…?” (me)
“I know, but I want you to speak up. You can’t lie to me or even to yourself. Your lies and deceptions are useless here.” (me?)
“I wouldn’t have brought him… actually, during the experiment, I was nervous when it was your turn…” (me)
“But it was a success; it became something much greater, a masterpiece and amalgamation of our combined knowledge!” (me)
“If you were so happy, then why did you spend the next five years sleeping only with the help of medication? Why couldn’t you eat properly? Why did your hands shake every time you had to leave your room!?” (me?)
“I… I…” (me)
I didn’t know how to respond as those memories flashed through my mind one after the other. I didn’t even notice when the place around us changed again.
Now I was in a much larger laboratory. In front of me was a version of myself from when I only had two pairs of wings. I remember those days, I remember this laboratory we used during our studies to reach level 3 as Ascendants.
“You finally achieved it: eternal beauty, eternal life, eternal health, eternal authority…” (me?)
“You spent thousands of years by his side, but he never saw you as anything different from back then, and your love for him degraded with each experiment.” (me?)
“He was much colder than our parents… he was more insensitive than us… he was more obsessed with himself than anything else… at some point you realized you were seen only as something to erase his loneliness, just like Mavor; he just didn’t want to be alone at the top.” (me?)
“I wasn’t any different; it was hard to deny how attractive the power was.” (me)
My hands were shaking. She hadn’t reached where we both knew she would. I know what laboratory this was, I know what happened here. It was a time when I was euphoric with the power of the Laws. We had just understood how we could reach the third level, but tests needed to be done to prove it.
Mavor and Vecna used other races in their experiments, but I had a different thought. My first thought was to return to the origin of everything, and that’s where I remained for the next decades.
“You heard his screams more than anyone, stood beside him more than anyone, cut, burned, and dissected him more than anyone.” (Me?)
“How much pain did you cause him while smiling? When did you stop seeing him as your beloved experiment? When did you become so cruel…?” (Me?)
She began to cry like the others, but this time they went straight to tears of blood. That’s when his fruits emerged, bringing those memories. I remember the sensation of his blood running down my chest, I remember the sensation of his flesh being cut, I remember the slight tremor in his body that not even the best sedatives could stop.
Yet back then, none of that mattered compared to the next level of power he could achieve.
She stepped aside, and what was revealed no longer looked human. It had no arms, and its legs were extremely deformed. Its head had no eyes or ears, and its mouth had no teeth or tongue as it moaned. Its hideous body was deformed by countless experiments, yet the Ascendant Laws always circled around it, showing reactions to the experiments.
“Congratulations, you have become incomparably worse than our parents.” (Me?)