Chapter 488: You were so busy wondering if you could, that you never thought if you should.

With Rosie and Buttercup off to bed and Milo accepting a caretaker role, the other players took a ten minute break for biology and food, and then came back for the next round. The game was starting to heat up and more rules were coming into play. Snail number one raised his voice and announced: "Taxes are due this round, and every round after this. Taxes must be paid at the start of each players turn to avoid penalties! Remember citizens, taxes are what keep the City of Blothmazdan strong and secure. Number two shall play the part of the taxman and deploy the first tax chit. Tax chits last for three turns, with one new chit deployed at the end of each full turn."

The new taxman crawled quickly to the pile of tax chits and flipped one over. "Head tax! All citizens of Bloth are taxed fairly, from minion to master. Each player must pay the tax amount for each minion, worker, or mercenary at the start of their turn."

Boom-Boom groaned. He and Narwal had purchased a small mercenary company early on and had expanded it from two goblins to a group of almost one hundred fighters of mixed races. They had skipped buying property in the city and instead rented space in a slum area outside the city walls. It gave them room for the large tents they used as a barracks with a central training area. Each round they recruited from the slums, spent money on training, selected bounties to pursue and deployed their troops into the city, the sewers, and the nearby caverns. With all of their resources tied up into mercenaries, the head tax hit them hard.

"Dammit! There goes the money for the brewery! We'd have gotten a +6 bonus to morale and +3 bonus to recruiting. I don't think the boys are ready to take on the mission to exterminate that rogue spider clan that's taking out the caravans, but it's the only thing that will bring in the money we need."

Narwal grimaced, "And cut down our numbers. Casualties will be harsh. But that will save a lot in taxes over the next two rounds." She looked at the snail in charge of taxes. "How long is that going to be in play?"

"Three turns, counting this one. And that concludes your tax advisory question for this turn. Answers to more questions will be billed next turn."

"Really? Well, that sucks. Sure you can't be a bit more generous with the information?"

Milo recognized the eye-stalk positions on each snail as amusement or laughter. Number Two tossed two small, red tokens to Narwal. "Yes, really. And no, that would be unfair, giving out valuable information for free. You owe payment for two additional tax questions. I will suggest you open an account with number four, who runs an unofficial but very helpful tax advisory business."

Narwal started to pull a pistol from her belt, then thought better of it. "They probably have a tax on guns in this game."

Boom-Boom looked stricken, "With as many guns as our minions are packing, that would knock us out of the game. Hopefully the next one is on turnips or something."

Milo leaned forward, "Fighting spiders? I really don't like spiders. Neither do Buttercup and Rosie. We will be happy to loan you the services of four pack masters and sixteen of our trained mutant alligators."

Boom-Boom smiled, but Narwal was suspicious, "And what does that cost us?"

Milo smiled angelically at them. "Remember, I'm negotiating for the poor, tired little girls and have to represent them properly. I'm thinking 10% of the reward money to cover my expenses and the gators get to eat all the spiders you kill. That will cut down on food costs. You will owe me, free of charge, the services of 20 of your mercs for three turns, at a time I call for them. That's the same amount of time the gators won't be available to hunt sewer monsters."

"That seems...reasonable."

"And 50% of the loot tokens you draw and in the case of an odd number, we get the extra."

"WHAT!?" This time, she did draw her pistol.

Milo grinned at her and leaned back in his chair, but his tail was working on a Shield rune, just in case.. "Take it or leave it. By my calculations, you're going to take 70% casualties and that will come out of your elite fighters and new recruits evenly, dropping your companies rating from 7 to 4. A shocking loss of manpower and a blight on your reputation. And that's if the spiders don't wipe you out. You'd be surprised what even a couple of assassins or black widows can do to up their lethality rating, and I've noticed Butch is just itching to play a chit which I expect is something that will affect your little expedition negatively. But on the bright side, I think together we can achieve 6 or 7 treasure chits versus the 3-4 you were expecting."

"You talk big, but I think you've got room to move on this deal. Gators cost you nothing, the things are breeding so fast, and this will help you to feed them for a round. Toss us the extra treasure if the number is odd and you have a deal."

Milo spat in his hand and held it out, "We have a deal."

The dice were rolled, and they fought several rounds of combat against the rogue spiders. As expected, the battles favored their combined forces. Seven treasures were earned and Milo collected his three in payment, keeping one for himself as a management fee. Butch set aside his Reinforcements token, not having played it. He confided in Brad and Min about what he had planned to do before Milo got involved.

"That would have been a sweet play if Milo hadn't jumped in. It would have added three elite spiders to the opposing side, and if the spiders won, I'd have scored two treasure tokens. But with the gators in play, it would have been wasted. Still, someone is going to have to deal with those damned gators, sooner or later. They have control of all of the sewers now and Milo is making money off his mushroom farms and sewer weed cultivation. If he gets control of the ratkin clans too, it's all over."

Brad, Butch, and Min had formed a closer alliance over the turns with Brad running a chemical warehouse that bought and sold commodities, and specialized in certain 'enhancements' purchased by mercenaries and fighters in the arenas. It was surprisingly profitable and he'd had a good run of luck taking random Easy Money chits on his turn, and reinvesting in more stock to sell. Butch was running a small firm that made acids, and Min had managed to start a small chemical factory that was starting to be profitable. The head tax had hurt them only minorly. Min looked at the two of them, considering.

"I have something that will knock him back, and might even take out the gators and ratkin before they become a problem. But...to do it I'm going to need some resources from the two of you in the form of cold hard cash."

Butch was wary, "I don't have a ton left after taxes, and I'm eying an upgrade for my factory."

Brad looked at his horded cash, "Will it take that smug look off his face?"

She grinned, "Trust me, you will be astonished at the outcome."

Brad handed over his money, which was three times what Butch had, "Fork it over. No time to play conservatively. I'm in, and you need to be as well."

Butch sighed and gave Min his money, with some private reservations. He was having a hard time reading her as an orc. She was a lot more confident in the game. Also a lot bigger than he was. She made nice little stacks of the coins and then sat back waiting for her turn. Butch and Brad made it through their turns, making a small profit, but not enough to regain their momentum.

Zander and Algernon were playing a long game of some sort, drawing all of their chits from Easy Money and Who-You-Know. They did a lot of grimacing and scowling with the occasional sly smile. The only property they had acquired between the two of them was a small coffee house in the Foreign Sector, near to the gateway to the Noble Sector. They only employed two minions and a sage each, all running the coffee shop which earned a modest profit. They explained that by running two shifts, twelve hours each, they could maximize profits and keep overhead down. The sages had the brewing, infusions, and mixology skills. Milo noted that they often had their sages deployed in the nearby collegiums during off hours, a shrewd move that was increasing their reputation, and giving them a bonus to their rolls for new customers.

Nina and Onyx had sadly departed the game. Something had gone wrong in the real world, and Bork had sent an alert. As usual, he didn't give many details but stressed that he needed help. They cashed out their properties and minions, putting everything into tokens that they could save and use in the next game. An optional rule they had found in update #69, and playable under the Wisopekan-Double-Decker rules. Snail number nine made a careful note of their tokens. Belinda had been working with them, and their departure left her vulnerable. But instead of making new alliances, she chose to stay independent and put her resources into a glassworks.

Just before Milo's turn, Min pointed at number One and said loudly, "I'm spending money to buy a dramatic pause." She tossed coins to the small pile in the center of the table.

The snail nodded with both eyestalks, "Accepted. Everyone will now wait patiently, listening in awe to your dreaded pronouncement."

She grinned, showing all of her teeth. "Friends, it is a splendid occasion. A brilliant but unknown Ur-Khemyst has completed his latest experiment in evolving lesser beings into sentient creatures. No longer will these be called animals, but they will join with the other evolved races, walking arm in arm together into a future so bright, we have to wear shades. Rejoice at the brilliance of this mad scientist and prepare to greet this new race of intelligent creatures."

Zander stood up, hands behind his back and cleared his throat, "Ahem, I believe it is time to introduce my minion, Sage Algae-gurnon. A rather bland fellow with a keen mind who pours a mean cappuccino. He has been attending night classes when he can at the local colleges, and made some powerful friends." He laid down several chits: Ur-Khemyst Connection, Old Money, and Hey, That's my Theory! Algae has recently passed his final tests and obtained the rank of #500 in the Junior Ur-Khemyst's League. It's quite amazing what a little money and a powerful friend can do. He's also a whiz at evolutionary mutation it seems, and invented the process you are announcing, which I think will kick him up to rank #220 for devising a major chemical upgrade."

Min screwed up her face. "Your stealing my chit?"

"Heaven's, no. I'm stealing the credit for what the chit does, which will let me move the rank of my baby Ur-Khemyst upward as I claim the academic credit. Nothing changes for you."

Min glared at Zander, then ignored him. "Whatever. As long as it doesn't interfere with what I'm doing to rat boy at the end of the table. She tossed a chit at Milo, "A present for you and your gators. No need to thank me."

With a sinking feeling, Milo read the chit out loud, "Evolution! A group of non-sentient creatures have ascended. They have intelligence equal to an average human and gain opposable thumbs or some other method of manipulating tools. They are immediately considered minions in the employ of their former owners, but a loyalty roll must be made at the end of each turn. Failure indicates they wish to chart their own path and are no longer controlled by that player."

He looked at Min and sighed as he saw his plans starting to unravel. He was so busy thinking of ways to employ sentient alligators and keep them loyal, that he almost didn't hear number Two yell out. "Please remember that Head tax is due on the start of your turn. Newly sentient creatures included."

Milo's face went slack, as he calculated his finances, the number of smart gators, and came up with a negative number. Butch and Brad shared high fives with Min and all three smiled at Milo. He looked around the table, noting only one person had any substantial amount of money that would keep him, Buttercup, and Rosie from going bankrupt.

"Well played Min. What's it going to take to get some money from you so the tax man doesn't send the goons over. You don't really want to see the cookies stop flowing."

She smiled at him, "Nope, in fact I want you to keep producing food as fast as you can. I like cookies and having someone in the food industry owe me favors is always useful. Here's the deal. I'll give you enough money to pay your tax bill for the next three rounds. But just that chit. You owe me that amount of money, payable whenever you like. But until you do, I get all of your chits from you and your two proxies. That stops as soon as you pay me back, and includes this turn."

Brad and Butch sucked in their breath. This would basically mean Milo was out of the game for many rounds, and he'd have to liquidate nearly everything to pay Min back. And they would have all of his, Buttercup, and Rosie's chits that they would normally draw each turn, giving their alliance a huge advantage. They were surprised when Milo agreed.

"Ok, deal, I don't have any choice. Not paying taxes would knock all three of us out of the game. I agree to your terms." He shook hands with Min, after which she pushed her wads of cash over to him, and in return, handed her the chits he drew that round. Butch tried to look at the three chits and Min slapped his hand.

"What? I can't look at our loot?"

She snarled at him, "I don't like sharing, and don't have to. I said I'd take care of Milo and the Gators. I did that. Now behave, I have positions for two helpful minions. Follow orders and we'll win this game."

Butch looked at Brad. Brad looked at Butch. They sighed, grabbed snacks, and sat back in their chairs, recognizing their error. "Never trust a little sister to not use all the lessons you taught her."

Number Two was quick to remind Milo again about the taxes. "Money is due now. Avoid penalties and do your civic duty!"

Milo looked around the table. "First of all, I will transfer all of the tax debt for the next three rounds to myself, taking it on and leaving my two proxy accounts free and clear of debt. This is allowable since I am acting in a protective manner. Then, I'll pay a 10% penalty to delay paying the full amount due until the end of my turn."

Number Two consulted with number One. "That is allowed, but the 10% is a penalty, not a prepayment."

Milo nodded, "Understood. Next, I notice that a certain warehouse has barrels of Bounceweed, MadHornet Extract, Never-Sleep, and Rutting Yak extract. I'm buying up your entire stock of those, Brad." He pushed half of his money over to Brad, who grinned and handed him the tokens."

Butch look worried, "You could have turned down that sale, you know. He's worrying me."

Brad shook his head, "Actually, I can't. Right Snails?"

Number One confirmed that, "This is Bloth! Failure to make a profit on items clearly marked for sale is a breach of our Fair Trading rules. It simply isn't done, and punished with huge fines."

Milo was moving his minions on the board, "I am having the ratkin clans do a complete harvest of all crops, in whatever state they are in, and retreat to the far end of their tunnels. Boom-Boom and Narwal: I'm calling in my owed favor from you. I want those mercenaries down in the sewers, between the gators and the ratkin area. Their job is to sell their lives protecting them. I'm also paying standard rates for the rest of your company to guard the cookie factory for the next five rounds."

Boom-Boom moved minion tokens to the spot in the sewers while Narwal deployed the rest of the company around the cookie factory. "Knew this was coming, sooner or later. Fight hard lads. I'm sending my best troops, Milo, and not stinting on quality. I expect a Five-Star review."

"Absolutely, it's the least I can do. Next, I need to clarify the rules of newly ascended sentient creatures. Number One: Who decides their racial traits?"

The snail rolled his eyes, "As if you don't know already. I saw you sneaking peaks at that update. Because it is a sudden breakthrough, traits are more random than usual, since there was no breeding system. You will draw five random traits and select the three best."

Milo reached for the stack, taking five chits. He turned them over one by one. Nyctophobia, Hard Working, Crafty Fighters, Natural Diplomats, and Insane Bloodlust. "Gee, that's a nice group to choose from. I'm taking Nyctophobia, Crafty Fighters, and Insane Bloodlust."

Belinda glared at him, "Those are hardly the best."

Milo shrugged, "Best for me. Time for this new race to leave the sewers. Especially since the only food left is the stuff I purchased from Brad and am placing underneath the Foreign, Manufacturing, and Noble sectors. I am informing the head gator that I free them from all bonds, and wish them well. I make no attempt to keep them in my employ. After that, I'm taking all my remaining money and liquid assets and splitting them equally between Rosie and Buttercup who should be here to play again in three minutes."

Number Two snail glared at him, "You owe taxes! Failure to pay will result in bankruptcy and a penalty for your next seven games!"

Milo leaned back in his chair, "So be it. Now, let's resolve what happens when hundreds of drug-maddened berserk humanoid alligators boil out of the sewers because they are suddenly afraid of the dark. By the way, this is all your new Ur-Khemyst's fault, Zander. After all, you claimed responsibility."

The snails began screaming at each other and arguing rules. Butch and Brad turned green. Algernon shook his head at Zander, "You were so busy wondering if you could, that you never thought to think about if you should."

Number Eleven snail suddenly screamed out, "Found it! Rules update 257 details out the rules for Spontaneous Massive Monster Invasions. Let's roll some dice people!!"