Chapter 45: The Illusion Of Normalcy

Chapter 45: Chapter 45: The Illusion Of Normalcy

Junpai monologue, POV

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?I looked toward Mataguchi. He hadn’t moved.

?"Mataguchi," I uttered.

?"Hm?" Mataguchi muttered. Oota’s eyes shifted to me for a second, as if he were being called.

?"You’re quiet."

?"I usually am."

?Aki looked at him. "Can you at least pretend to participate?"

?"I’m participating," Mataguchi defended himself, his tone still calm and steady.

?"How?" Aki asked.

?"I’m listening," the reply came with a brief pause.

?"That’s not participating," Aki murmured. He was surely looking for his next victim, but bro had to choose the AI.

?"It is."

?"Say something, then, robot," Aki frowned.

?Mataguchi looked at him. "What would you like me to say?"

?Aki opened his mouth, but nothing came out—like he was already quiet for a reason.

?Inosuki quietly smiled while I laughed softly. Of course, I tried to hide it.

?Aki pointed at Mataguchi. "See? That’s exactly what I mean."

?"What?" Mataguchi blinked.

?"You do that."

?"Do what?"

?"Answer questions with questions."

?"I didn’t answer your probing question with an open-ended question. I simply asked what you wanted me to say, which in turn is a rhetorical question."

?"That’s still a question, right?" Aki muttered as if unsure. I know he knows that they are still questions, but I would still ask the same thing.

?"Correct," Mataguchi approved immediately without flinching.

?Aki looked at me. "See what I deal with?"

?I shrugged. "You’re the one who asked him to talk."

?"You’re supposed to support me," Aki added.

?"Hmmm... Why?"

?"Because we’re friends."

?Okay, playing the childhood card for the same time isn’t going to help.

?"That’s not how friendship works," I countered.

?"Wow." Aki put a hand over his chest.

?"He’s right." Inosuki looked at him, while Aki looked betrayed.

?"You too?" I asked.

?"Especially me."

?I laughed again. For the first time since everything happened, my shoulders felt a little less tense.

?"Anyone want chips?" Aki reached into one of the bags.

?"No," Inosuki said.

?"Yes," I replied.

?Aki handed me the bag. I opened it, and Aki immediately reached inside, which resulted in me slapping his hand away.

?I was already expecting that; if one were to stay with this guy for even a month, they would already know the ins and outs.

?"You asked if I wanted them."

?"I changed my mind. I just realized two bags might not be enough," Aki replied, his voice having that playful feel to it.

?"You can’t do that."

?"I can. They’re mine." Aki stretched his hands out to take the bag of chips back, but I just pulled it behind me, away from him. He wasn’t being rough or trying hard, so it made it easy for me.

?"You gave them to me."

?"I temporarily gave them to you."

?"That’s not how giving works."

?"Fine." He snatched one anyway. Unfortunately, I wasn’t strong enough, even when he was holding back.

?I stared at him while he ate it. "Good."

?You suck.

?"You two argue like you’re twelve," Inosuki sighed.

?Aki pointed at him with a chip. "And yet you’re still sitting here."

?"Because I have nowhere else to sit."

?"There are several empty benches," Aki protested aggressively.

?"I’m comfortable here."

?"Then stop complaining," Aki added.

?"I’m not complaining."

?"You are."

?"I’m tired."

?"You always say that."

?"Because it’s true."

?I looked between them. It was strange. Inosuki could say something completely flat and somehow make Aki even more irritated.

?Mataguchi watched us for a moment.

?Then he said,

?"Nanami and Shion are taking longer than expected."

?The three of us became quiet. I looked toward the path again.

?This time, nobody teased me. Aki looked at his phone.

?"They’re probably talking," Aki assumed.

?"About what happened?" I asked.

?"Probably."

?I nodded. I wondered if I should go looking for them. But then I remembered Shion’s gestures earlier; she probably wanted some space. And Nanami... I didn’t know what she wanted. I looked down at the half-empty chip bag.

?"Do you think she’s okay?"

?"I don’t know," Aki shrugged.

?"Probably not," Inosuki answered instead.

?I looked at him. "That’s obvious."

?"Then why ask?"

?I didn’t have an answer. Maybe because hearing someone else say it made it feel more real.

?"Junpai," Aki leaned back.

?"What?" I asked.

?"Whatever happens, don’t force yourself to fix it."

?I looked at him. He was staring at the fountain, but his voice wasn’t joking anymore.

?He had always been the one to try to make things okay for me, even though he wasn’t involved in the situation or I might be the cause.

?I didn’t respond.

?Aki rubbed the back of his neck.

?"Sometimes things are just messed up for a while. But with time, it changes."

?"He’s right," Inosuki nodded slightly.

?I looked at him. "You’re agreeing again."

?"This time I am."

?"See?" Aki smiled. I laughed quietly.

?"You’re both weird," I murmured to myself, but unexpectedly they caught it.

?"You’re the weird one," Oota spoke up. It looked like he was done with his book Chapters.

?"Why?" I asked.

?"Because you’re still worried about whether Nanami likes you."

?"I never said that." My face immediately heated up.

?"You didn’t have to."

?"I hate you," I voiced out. I didn’t mean it, but I was too embarrassed to actually make any note of what was coming out of my mouth.

?Oota chuckled softly. He seemed so mature and calm, but faintly worried about something. I must have caused this with the way I was acting earlier.

?I looked away.

?Aki laughed.

?Then Inosuki suddenly looked past us.

?"They’re coming."

?I sat up. My eyes immediately moved toward the path. Their ride was almost over.

?Aki looked at me. I had just realized what I’d done. He slowly smiled.

?I pointed at him. "Don’t."

?"I didn’t say anything." He raised both hands.

?"Good."

?"We should go meet them when they get to the bottom," Oota suggested, and of course, we all went along.

?The boys’ group quickly finished up with our unnecessary blabbing and went for the main event of the day:

?My date with Nanami.

?But that wasn’t how it played out. The scene that I came to see was not one to be ignored or played with.

?A fight between my friend and Nanami broke out, and the cause was because Nanami was trying to play me. I didn’t know how to handle this—it was my first date experience, so what was I to do in this situation?

?Fuck.

?Fuck.

?FUCK!

?FUCCKKK!!!!

?WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL IS GOING ON?!

?I don’t understand. I was the one who asked her out, so how could she have planned this?

?No, I was the one who asked her out; I didn’t do anything to hurt—

?Instantly, I remembered my actions from earlier. I had accused her of something she didn’t do, so I had no right to defend myself here.

?I wanted more explanation. I didn’t like this.

?Shion had mentioned she had proof, but I knew I shouldn’t, yet I was starting to doubt her because she was indirectly telling me my approach to Nanami was all part of some plan or calculation.

?Shion pulled away from Oota slowly and tapped on the screen of her phone. The file Voice000002025 started to play.

?The speaker crackled with a slight hiss of wind resistance from inside the glass cabin, but the voices were unmistakably clear.

?"The trial was just a way to get close without actually being attached... cause you don’t feel anything."

?"Even if that were true, social accommodation isn’t a crime. It keeps people happy. Junpai is enjoying himself. Why ruin his illusion?"

?The audio cut off with a sharp click. It was short, but it was all I needed.

?The silence that followed was absolute.

?For a few seconds, I couldn’t move.

?My mind replayed the recording, stripping it down to the parts that mattered.

?The trial was just a way to get close without actually being attached.

?You don’t feel anything.

?Why ruin his illusion?

?Three statements.

?I forced myself to separate what I’d heard from what I was assuming.

?The recording established that Nanami had discussed me with someone else. It established that she knew I was enjoying the situation and that she was willing to let me continue believing something the other person considered an illusion.

?That was significant. But it didn’t establish when the conversation happened, what had been said before it, what followed afterward, or what Nanami meant by "illusion."

?Those details weren’t minor. They determined the meaning of everything I’d just heard.

?My first reaction was obvious: she had planned this, or Shion was behind this.

?The trial, getting close to me, the date, every conversation between us—everything had been calculated from the beginning.

?It was a clean explanation—too clean. The recording didn’t support that entire conclusion. At most, it showed that Nanami had knowingly allowed a certain perception to continue.

?That left several different interpretations.

?Perhaps she had never been interested in me and simply recognized that my feelings could be useful. Perhaps she hadn’t planned anything initially, but once she realized how I felt, she decided maintaining the relationship was more convenient than ending it. Or perhaps she genuinely cared about me while still treating the relationship as something that could serve another purpose.

?That last possibility bothered me most.

?I’d been treating affection and manipulation as opposites.

?They weren’t. Someone could care about another person and still use them. Someone could make a sincere decision for selfish reasons. Someone could even convince themselves that manipulating another person was justified if they believed the outcome benefited everyone involved.

?That meant the real question wasn’t simply whether Nanami cared about me.

?It was what she had intended, and what had led Shion to confront or instigate this.

?And the recording didn’t answer that. I looked back at the situation surrounding it.

?Shion had chosen to reveal this particular piece of evidence at this particular moment. That didn’t make the recording false; it meant I also had to examine how the evidence was being presented.

?A true statement could still produce a false conclusion if the surrounding information was removed.

?That was one of the easiest ways to manipulate someone—not by inventing evidence, but by controlling which evidence they were allowed to see.

?I hated that I had to consider it.

?But ignoring it would have been worse.

?Then I thought about my own behavior. I’d spent the entire date analyzing Nanami’s reactions.

?Every smile, every pause, every change in expression. I’d been searching for confirmation that she enjoyed being with me. That meant I had to account for my own bias. Maybe some of the things I’d interpreted as affection had simply been ordinary kindness. Maybe I’d attached meaning to moments because I wanted them to mean something.

?That didn’t excuse anything Nanami might have done. But it meant I couldn’t build my argument entirely around memories that I’d already viewed through the lens of my feelings.

?I went through them again.

?What had Nanami actually done? What had she objectively done?

?That was harder and much more useful.

?I needed the original conversation. I needed to know when the recording was made, the surrounding context, and I needed to understand Shion’s interpretation and compare it against Nanami’s own explanation.

?Until then, the only responsible conclusion was that something important had been concealed from me.

?That alone was enough to change how I viewed the situation.

?I looked at Nanami again.

?Only minutes ago, I’d been worried about whether she enjoyed spending time with me. Now the problem was much larger.

?If the recording was being interpreted correctly, then I hadn’t simply misunderstood her feelings. I’d misunderstood the foundation of our relationship. That was what made my chest feel heavier.

?I could deal with rejection or embarrassment; even being used would eventually make sense if I understood why.

?What was harder to accept was the possibility that I’d been building my understanding of someone from information they had deliberately allowed me to have.

?I had trusted her. That fact didn’t require interpretation. And whatever the recording ultimately meant, that trust had just become something I could no longer treat as unquestionable.

?I wasn’t going to decide that Nanami was guilty because I was hurt, or defend her because I wanted the date to have been real.

?Both would be the same mistake. For now, I had one task: find out what actually happened. Everything else could wait.

?This is bull crap... this has to be a fabrication, a setup.

?Please...

?I staggered back a step, then looked at Nanami. I was confused and shocked.

?"An illusion..." I muttered, my voice barely audible over the distant park music.

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"Nothing hurts more than when the person you hold dear turning out to be fake... The sieves of time filter out the fakes from the real."

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