Chapter 15: Uncertainty

Chapter 15: Chapter 15: Uncertainty

Shion’s monologue, POV

-------

Oota stepped out into the rain, raising his umbrella with his left hand while waving with his right. I waved back at him.

Once he disappeared from sight, I turned and walked back inside the building.

"What’s keeping him so late?" I muttered while i head toward Mataguchi’s club room. There are no students in school, so why isn’t him coming down yet?

I brought out my phone, clicking to the phone app seeing no call from him. I had called him a couple of times before Oota had showed up.

I walked to the third floor of the building, it was silent, the absence of the student body made a huge difference that kinda bothers me.

And that robotic dickhead freak is still staying late.

I opened the door.

Inside, Mataguchi stood by a table, arranging several shattered books into neat stacks.

Is this what he was upto all this time?

"Still not done?" I asked, stepping inside and closing the door behind me.

"Sorry to keep you late. There were just a lot to be done before leaving for the day," Mataguchi replied, continuing his task without looking up. Obviously my presence meant nothing to him.

"..."

We both remained silent, I was kind of a bit anxious about something before all this but now I think I know what to say.

"Thank you," i said softly.

"Hm?" Mataguchi paused, slightly surprised, a document on hand.

From the way he reacted, my expression was uncharacteristically bashful, nothing like my usual self.

Didn’t he hear me say it, this is so embarrassing to bear.

"I said ’thank you’, dummy. Did you not hear me?"

"I did. I just... didn’t take you for that type," Mataguchi responded, his expression unchanged.

"Type? What type? What do you mean by that type?" I protested. It kinda sounded like a insult than a compliment. One thing is clear this guy is so unreal and cruel.

I wanted to ask more about the mental collapse on the hallway but i should leave it at that for now.

"Look, it’s not like that. I’m just stunned, that’s all," Mataguchi replied quickly to calm me, though his face remained emotionless.

"Stunned, huh... for someone who’s stunned, your expression says otherwise," i said skeptically.

I know I shouldn’t be direct with this but even if I do dislike his nature in a way, I still trust him the same with Oota. But that’s not only the reason, he promised he won’t be using any of those means and his mother doesn’t like lying either.

"Planning something like that, we’ve talked about this before, remember?"

"I don’t want to complain since it was for my sake, but... it’s just not proper and we are close."

"You could have told me about your plans so I’ll helped cooperate"

That statement made Mataguchi pause. Did I say something wrong just now?

"Shiwogata-san..." His eyes finally shifted toward me. "What do you mean? I did nothing."

Outside, a low, relentless wind rattled the window frames. Even though the glass was locked tight, a persistent, biting chill seemed to bleed right through the walls, pooling around the empty desks and dragging the temperature down until every breath felt heavy.

​i stood near the center aisle, my uniform blazer crisp despite the damp humidity clinging to the air. My eyes, sharp and unblinking, were locked entirely on the boy standing before me.

The cold atmosphere blew passed by constantly though the windows were locked the air remained cold.

Uh? He did.... nothing?

Mataguchi continued to look straight into my eyes, his expression remained the same. it was simply the absence of anything at all. The ambient gray light from the window cut across the sharp angles of his face, casting long shadows that only emphasized his total lack of movement.

"We haven’t had any chance to actually talk, since it’s the beginning of the semester"

His voice didn’t rise or fall. It carried the exact same neutral timbre he used when reading a textbook aloud.

As he spoke, his eyes smoothly diverted back to the stack of reference books piled on his desk, his fingers lightly resting on the edge of a page.

Hmmm... I see no physical gestures, I thought, a shocked expression purposely lingering on my face. I couldn’t tell if he was joking or not but for one he can’t, not when the camera’s at the school are active.

And there’s the promise with his mom, which I infact think his not going to go back on.

No micro-expressions. No verbal defense mechanisms...Nothing.

​On the outside, i let my eyebrows knit together, portraying the exact picture of a frustrated teenage girl who had been slighted.

Then what actually happened? Things can’t just fall together in place like that, then what about the promise he made with me? Is this guy playing with me?

This boy...

I don’t see any physical information to prove he’s lying, I mused, tracing the line of his jaw, looking for the slightest pulse of a vein.

Well, Mataguchi does have a problem with not being able to lie at all... or so everyone believes.

I let out a sharp, deliberate breath, leaning forward just enough to invade his personal space, if it was Oota my heart would be pounding out of my chest by now.

"Wait... then you did nothing?" I uttered, letting my voice rise just a fraction. Honestly my expression might as will be morphed into one of distinct annoyance, though i carefully kept my tone soft, ensuring it didn’t sound overheated or overly aggressive.

The very thought of him playing me all along was a bit frustrating but I can’t actually hold it against him.

"Even when you said you would help me with it?"

​Mataguchi didn’t pull back from my sudden proximity. He merely turned a page of the book, the crisp rustle of paper loud in the silent room. I wonder what excuses his going to hit me with.

"Well, I did try to help in my own way," Mataguchi responded. His voice remained perfectly level, maintaining a volume of absolute easiness that felt entirely unnatural given the accusation. "You can’t blame me if I was unable to do it."

​i watched him, my eyes narrowing imperceptibly.

​For one thing, his poker face still remains intact. Maybe... I’m asking the wrong questions. Or maybe he’s playing on a frequency I haven’t tuned into yet.

I hate that I’m going off character right now, but the situation isn’t one to play with.

"Ah, is that supposed to be an excuse?" I uttered, I mean what does that even mean? Is he kidding me?

I took another step closer, my shoes clicking sharply against the linoleum floor. I crossed my arms, tilting my head. "I did all those errands for nothing, then."

​"I won’t say for nothing, actually," Mataguchi replied, finally looking up from the text. His dark eyes met mine again, completely vacant of malice or anxiety. "I will repay you back... well, if I can."

I let out a long, theatrical sigh, rubbing my temple as if a headache were forming, though my eyes never left him. "What exactly do you mean by ’if I can’?"

​"Well-"

​"Then you owe me a favor," i interrupted smoothly, cutting off his explanation before he could formulate a logical caveat. I let my face soften into a tired, slightly relieved expression, letting my shoulders drop to signal that the confrontation was pivoting into a negotiation.

It was tense than it should be, it’s felt intoxicating for a moment there. Sorry about that Prez.

For a moment I felt like Mataguchi was staring at me but then I turned and noticed him just been neutral.

"Yeah... I guess," Mataguchi accepted. Well for one thing, I’m guessing he doesn’t want to go further in.

​"Alright then," i said

"Are you done? We should head home now. The weather is only getting worse."

Without waiting for his answer, i reached down and took the heavy stack of documents right out from under Mataguchi’s hand.

​Turning on my shoes, i walked over to the tall wooden shelves that lined the right and left walls of the classroom. I began methodically arranging the books and papers onto the shelves.

I noticed Mataguchi still standing in silence. Is he feeling guilty that he couldn’t help me? I wasn’t that pissed though.

"Don’t just stand there," i said without looking back, my voice echoing slightly in the hollow room. I slammed a thick binder into a tight slot on the shelf. "Help me out so we can head out quickly... it’s almost time for your curfew, isn’t it?"

​Mataguchi blinked, pulling himself out of the depths of his own mind. He looked at his watch, then back at me.

​"Right," he murmured.

​He moved forward, his steps silent, to help me lift the remaining heavy reference books from the desk.

The silence that followed was heavy, broken only by the rhythmic thud of book spines hitting the back of the wooden shelves. Mataguchi moved with mechanical efficiency, slotting three heavy reference manuals into the historical section without a word. I worked a few feet away from him, my eyes continuously tracked his peripheral shadow.

I can’t actually get over the events, it just doesn’t sit right to me, this isn’t about my guts but the train of events and the way it all went down.

Overthinking much? Well it won’t hurt to test it.

"You know," i started, my voice cutting through the damp chill of the room. I held a thick binder against my chest, leaning my shoulder lightly against the shelf.

"If you miss your curfew again, the dorm warden is going to do more than just make you write an apology letter. I heard he forced one of the third-years to weed the entire courtyard in the rain last week."

"....."

"Dorm? You mean house?" Mataguchi corrected.

"Yeah, you know what I mean" i added. I mean it’s not like the school isn’t the one that owns the house you are living in.

​Mataguchi didn’t stop his hands. "He was exaggerating. It wasn’t the whole courtyard. Just the flowerbeds by the main gate."

​"So you did hear about it," i replied, a small, amused smile tugging at the corner of my lips. It was a completely normal, teenage reaction the kind of look shared between classmates gossiping about a strict teacher nothing more I guess.

"And here I thought you completely tuned out everything that happens in the student council dorms. You usually look like you’re sleeping with your eyes open during morning announcements."

​"I don’t sleep," Mataguchi replied evenly, reaching for another stack of papers. "I process. There’s a difference."

​"Right, right. ’Processing.’" I rolled my eyes, transferring a handful of documents to the upper shelf. How can he say that with a straight face.

"Whatever you want to call it. But seriously, why is your curfew set so much earlier than everyone else’s anyway? It’s barely past five and you’re already checking your watch like a Cinderella who is about to turn into a pumpkin."

​Mataguchi paused for a fraction of a second, his fingers resting on the spine of an atlas. The question was mundane, bordering on intrusive, but it was exactly the kind of prying a normal classmate would engage in to bridge the gap between them so it shouldn’t be a problem.

He pause reaching his phone, it was silent for a moment as he made several calls but the person in question didn’t pick up. I just stopped and watched him, I didn’t know if it was right to talk during that time honestly.

​"The administration believes structural routine fosters academic discipline," Mataguchi said, his tone flatly reciting what sounded like a handbook regulation.

"As a scholarship student, my parameters are stricter. It’s a simple cost-of-attendance compromise."

Is he calling his household in case of him been late?

-------

"Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get."

-------