TRANSCENDENT LOOP: Collapse - Identity (What am i?)
Chapter 14: Undentified Fear
Chapter 14: Chapter 14: Undentified Fear
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A few vehicles blew passed me, the water splashing near me, it was freezing.
At first, the streets were normal, cars passing occasionally, distant city noise blending with the rainfall. But after some time, the surroundings grew unusually quiet. I on the otherhand noticed this changed but continued to walk forward.
Empty.
The sound of rain became louder against the pavement.
Then I heard it.
Meow.
The faint cry of a cat echoed from an alley to my right.
I stopped and turned toward the narrow alleyway. A cat darted further into the darkness.
For a moment, i hesitated I wasn’t stupid enough to walk in these kind of situation.
But then an unknown force that can be mistaken for curiosity pulled me closer. I stepped toward the alley and bent down slightly
My heart felt like it was about to beat out of my chest from terror, I wanted this to be logical.
"Uh... hey there," i called softly.
"You scared?"
The cat moved deeper into the shadows until only its green eyes remained visible, glowing faintly from within the dark.
A sudden chill ran through me. Yes I can remember this feeling, it’s fear.
I straightened up.
Something felt wrong.
I turned to leave immediately feeling cornered.
But the entrance behind me was gone.
The alley had stretched impossibly far, extending into darkness with no visible exit.
My breathing grew shallow. I can’t feel my face none body limbs or warmth, I was dreadfully cold as ice.
Footsteps echoed from behind me.
I couldn’t move.
I couldn’t think.
I couldn’t predict or deduce what want was happening to me.
Sweat trickled down my face despite the cold rain. My heartbeat pounded violently in my ears.
Closer.
Closer.
Closer.
Closer.
Closer.
Until—
"Hey there."
The voice was that of a child.
My umbrella slipped from my hand and hit the ground.
Slowly
very slowly
I turned.
Everything was normal again.
The alley was short. The entrance was visible. The rain continued as if nothing had happened.
What the fuck just happened?-
A man stood in front of me just before I could finish my thought.
The man wore a complete office suit and held a black umbrella over himself.
I remained frozen in place. My eyes were wide, my chest rising and falling rapidly. My heart still raced as though it were trying to break free.
"Hey kid... are you okay?" the man asked, bending slightly closer. I could tell he was just worried and normal but.
As the man reached out, i reacted instantly, fear overtaking me. I slapped the man’s hand away.
Then reality settled in.
The man was ordinary. Just a passerby.
"S-Sorry... I was... a bit frightened. Sorry for the trouble I caused you," i said quickly, trying to maintain a mask, that had scattered minutes ago, picking up my fallen umbrella and bowing in apology.
"It’s okay. Just don’t stand in the middle of the rain like that... you might catch a cold," the man replied calmly.
I nodded and hurried past him, beginning to run.
What was that just now?
But as i glanced back
I saw it.
A small black figure of a child stood beside the man, holding his hand.
The figure flickered.
Glitched.
Its form distorted subtly, like a broken signal struggling to remain stable.
My breath hitched.
Without thinking further, i ran faster into the rain, wanting no part in whatever was happening.
My legs moved on complete autopilot, my loafers slapping violently against the wet, glistening asphalt as I sprinted away from that alleyway.
Every breath tasted like rust and freezing water. The cold air burned through my lungs, but the ice settling deep inside my chest had nothing to do with the weather.
A child. A black, flickering silhouette holding that man’s hand.
The image was locked behind my eyelids, flashing every time I blinked. It wasn’t a trick of the light. It wasn’t my overthinking mind playing games or making connections out of nothing. The way that shape glitched like a corrupted video frame tearing straight through reality was raw, unfiltered horror.
My heart was hammering so hard against my ribs it felt like it was trying to break out. I took a sharp left down the residential street leading toward my house, my eyes darting frantically to the wet pavement ahead.
Thump. Thump. Thump. ℯℯ𝑙.
Heavy footfalls echoed right behind me.
My blood ran instantly cold. The sound wasn’t the rhythmic slap of my own running; it was the sharp, heavy impact of dress shoes hitting puddle-soaked concrete. Someone was closing the distance fast.
I glanced over my shoulder in absolute panic.
Nothing.
The street behind me was completely empty. The pale yellow light of a single, flickering streetlamp illuminated the steady curtain of falling rain, bouncing off parked cars and closed residential gates. There was no one there. No man in a suit. No flickering child. Just empty asphalt.
I swallowed hard, a ragged, shuddering breath escaping my lips.
I’m losing my mind. I’m just paranoid. The shock is making me hear things.
I turned back around
And slammed directly into a wall of dark fabric.
"Whoa..kid, watch out!"
The voice boomed right in front of me. I reeled back, my heels slipping instantly on the wet pavement. My center of gravity vanished. I threw my hands out, but my umbrella flew from my grip as I crashed hard onto the frozen, waterlogged ground.
Pain shot through my hip, and cold rain water soaked through my uniform pants in a fraction of a second. I scrambled backward on my hands and knees like an animal, my hands scraping against the rough, gritty asphalt as I looked up in pure terror.
It was the man in the suit.
He stood right above me under his black umbrella, looking down with a mix of severe concern and sheer confusion.
How?
My brain screamed, completely failing to process the distance, the logic, or the physical space.
He was behind me. The alley was three blocks back. He was just behind me
"Hey, take it easy!" the man said, taking a step toward me and reaching down with an open hand. "You’re running like you’ve seen a ghost. Are you alright? That was a nasty fall."
"D-Don’t touch me!" I choked out, my voice cracking, entirely stripped of any composure or mask I had ever maintained. I pushed myself further back on the wet ground, my fingers digging into the cold mud near the curb.
The man paused, holding his hands up defensively, looking genuinely startled by my reaction. "Okay, okay. I won’t touch you. Just... calm down, kid. You’re shaking like crazy."
I stared at him, my vision blurring around the edges. I looked down at his shoes, expecting to see that flickering black silhouette clinging to his coat, but there was nothing. Just a normal, middle-aged office worker on his way home from a long shift.
"I... I’m fine," I lied, my voice barely a whisper above the sound of the downpour. "I’m sorry. I just... I slipped."
The man sighed, shaking his head with a heavy sense of fatigue. "You kids need to be careful in this weather. Get home before you catch pneumonia."
He turned and walked away, his steps slow and unhurried as he melted into the dark, rainy neighborhood.
I remained on the cold ground for a long moment, the rain pouring down directly onto my face and soaking through my hair. I couldn’t move. My knees felt like lead, and my hands were numb from the freezing water pooled around my fingers. My carefully constructed world, the place where everything could be analyzed, predicted, and understood had completely collapsed in the span of ten minutes.
Slowly, painfully, I dragged myself up to my feet. I retrieved my bent umbrella from the gutter, not bothering to open it again. I just dragged it beside me, my wet loafers squeaking with every heavy, exhausting step.
The final two blocks to my house felt like a mile-long march. Every shadow stretching across a fence looked like a figure waiting to step out. Every drop of rain hitting a metal roof sounded like a whisper. My mind kept trying to find a rational explanation, a twist, a trick anything to make sense of what I’d just experienced but every time I tried to think, my head throbbed with a dull, nauseating ache.
When the gate of my house finally came into view, a weak sigh of relief slipped past my chattered teeth.
I pushed the gate open, walked up the short concrete path, and ducked under the small porch overhang, out of the direct rain at last. My hands were shaking so badly I could barely align the key with the front door lock. It took three frustrating, desperate attempts before the metal latch finally clicked open.
I stepped inside, shutting the heavy door behind me and throwing the deadbolt into place with a sharp, echoing thud.
The silence of the house wrapped around me immediately, thick and suffocating.
She would be coming any moment now
I leaned my back against the door, slipping down until I was sitting directly on the cold entryway tiles. Water dripped from my hair, my blazer, and my bag, creating a small puddle around my knees. I pulled my smartphone out of my pocket with numb, stiff fingers.
The screen lit up, illuminating my pale, terrified face in the dark foyer.
[3 Missed Calls]
The notification sat right at the center of the display. No name, just three unanswered pings sitting quietly on the glass.
I stared at the screen for a few seconds. My thumb hovered over the glass, trembling slightly.
I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t press it, couldn’t talk to anyone, couldn’t try to explain or hear whatever warning was waiting on the other end. I just didn’t have it in me.
I pressed the power button, plunging the phone back into darkness, and tossed it onto the wooden bench beside my bag.
Closing my eyes, I pulled my wet knees tight against my chest, listening to the relentless, freezing rain battering against the roof above.
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"We suffer more often in imagination than in reality."
"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown."
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