Chapter 286 - 51: Face Reality

The passage to the second floor of the Dungeon was cramped and narrow, but for a group of Slimes that could twist and deform, none of that mattered.

However, on the second floor, they ran into some problems.

It was so damn dark!

Here, they could hear rustling sounds. Something seemed to be circling them. Furry things brushed against their bodies, leaving scratches on the players’ smooth, tender skin.

Even though they turned on their phone flashlights, the darkness couldn’t be dispelled by an ordinary light source. They were quickly devoured by the things in the dark and perished.

The Dungeon had claimed the lives of three more poor, helpless Slimes.

After reviving in the small plaza, the three Slimes allocated their Reincarnation Points.

Duan Fei used fifty points to unlock his Crowbar and another twenty to add a point to his Constitution, then he started browsing the forums.

Unfortunately, they were already among the players who had progressed the furthest.

Most players were still trying to beat the first-floor boss, so they had no idea if the second floor’s darkness was an exception or the norm.

After another attempt, the three Slimes killed the respawned first-floor boss and entered the second floor again. They found it was still pitch-black, confirming that it was indeed an extremely dark level.

"This is going to be tough," Duan Fei said, rubbing against a wall. "The second floor is so dark. What should we do?"

"Other Adventurers have already reached the fifteenth floor, so there must be a solution. Should we go ask someone?"

"Who should we ask, then?"

"Ask me!"

Duan Fei and Darts Guest turned their heads and saw the little boy excitedly holding Cuihua in his cupped hands.

At the stranger’s touch, Cuihua had gone rigid as a rock. The little girl next to the boy started poking it playfully with a wooden stick.

Duan Fei glanced at the little boy, then turned his head. "The adults are talking. Don’t interrupt."

The little boy didn’t get angry. After all, a Slime acting all high and mighty was actually rather cute.

He picked up Duan Fei with his left hand and Darts Guest with his right. Then, together with his sister, he carried Cuihua and trotted off, rushing into a small cottage in the village.

A figure flashed past the cottage window at the sound of running. But upon realizing it was the brother and sister, the person inside breathed a sigh of relief.

Opening the door, she let the two children in, then went back to simmering a soup with unrecognizable ingredients.

"Gretel, Hansen, wash your hands first, then come get something to eat."

"We already ate!" said her sister, Gretel, holding up Cuihua.

"Slimes? Where did you get these? I heard Slimes are everywhere today, an endless supply. But those things usually feed on insects and rotting flesh. You’ll get parasites if you eat them."

"You’re the one who eats bugs!" Duan Fei huffed.

"That’s right! You’re the one who eats rotting flesh!" Darts Guest huffed as well.

"Occasionally... I eat..." Cuihua said haltingly.

Squinting at Cuihua, Duan Fei thought, ’The Dark Chef Profession is a perfect fit for this one.’

’Just what have you been eating?!’

Hearing the three Slimes speak, the woman was dumbfounded. The ladle in her hand fell into the greenish soup.

She sat down at the table, took a bottle of liquor from a shelf, and took a large swig. Then, rubbing her temples, she said, "I think I should quit drinking."

"Could I trouble you to actually do what you say for once?" Duan Fei said wearily.

"I’m not interested in the opinion of a Slime."

"You’ve sunk so low that even a Slime is giving you advice. Don’t you think it’s time for a little self-reflection?"

Gretel nodded vigorously. "Ball-Ball is right!"

Duan Fei looked wearily at the cheerful little girl. "Who’s Ball-Ball? Me? I’m begging you, *begging* you, please stop talking."

"That’s pretty catchy. I almost sang along."

Watching the three wisecracking Slimes, the woman took another gulp of liquor. She really, really needed to quit drinking.

It took her a long time to accept the fact that Slimes could talk and were planning to go to the bottom floor to beat up the Demon King. The woman rubbed her temples, at a loss for words.

Duan Fei took the opportunity to observe his surroundings.

The place was steeped in the atmosphere of Dark Magic. Black curtains hung over the windows, a blood-red hexagram was painted on the wall, the bones of unknown beasts were scattered about, and the shelves were crammed with sinister-looking books.

The woman herself was just as sinister.

She was tall but gaunt, with prominent dark circles under her eyes that showed she hadn’t had a good rest in a long time.

Just sitting there, she gave off the distinct image of a Witch who would lay curses on people in the dead of night, exuding an unsettling, eerie aura.

’But judging by her attitude toward Gretel and Hansen,’ Duan Fei thought, ’she must be a good person.’

A few minutes later, the Witch, having finally accepted the situation, sighed. She fiddled with a ring made of bone on her finger and asked, "Alright, what do you want to know?"

"How to get through the second floor," Duan Fei said instantly.

"You’ve already reached the second floor? For Slimes like you, who are only fit to be garbage disposals, that’s pretty impressive," the Witch sneered.

"With all due respect, miss, you seem to be a bit prejudiced against us Slimes."

Before the Witch could answer, Gretel piped up, "Miss Witch is weak against Slimes. The first time she met one, it bullied her really badly."

"Tell me more about this ’bullied’ part. I have mashed potatoes! I have food! Name your price!"

Flying into a rage out of embarrassment, the Witch grabbed her Magic Staff and smashed it down on Duan Fei, dealing one point of damage.

It didn’t break his defense.

’Looking at the Witch with contempt, Duan Fei judged her Power stat was probably only five—even lower than his own, and he was just a Slime. No wonder she lost to one.’

Realizing her Magic Staff was useless, the Witch snorted. She leaned back in her chair and said haughtily, "I’m a former Adventurer. My personal best is the first floor. But then I grew tired of the adventuring life, and..."

"Isn’t it because you wanted to get married and searched the world for a husband, but your personality is so gloomy that you never found one, so you ran off to this backwater to play at raising a little boy? Oh, by the way, what does ’raising a little boy’ mean?" Hansen asked, confused.

The Witch, having been exposed on the spot, turned bright red. It was a long moment before she managed to say, "The second floor is a dark level. The darkness there can’t be dispelled by normal means. You need a special light source or a Magic Elixir. But I’m telling you right now, I’m not giving you any Magic Elixir!"

"Oh, that’s fine. I’ll handle it."

Bumping quickly against the Witch, Duan Fei copied her Witch Profession and obtained its special ability: Magic Elixir Creation.

Looking at the cauldron the Witch was using to brew her soup, Duan Fei asked, "Can I borrow this for a moment?"

"Whatever. It’s not like..."

Before the Witch could finish her sentence, she saw Duan Fei hop next to the cauldron. In just a few seconds, he created the elixir out of thin air.

After sharing the elixir with his companions, Duan Fei said politely, "Thank you very much. I’ll be sure to bother you again if I run into any more problems."

The Witch stared blankly as the three Slimes left, then took another large swig of liquor.

"I must be drunk. I’m definitely dreaming. After all, how could a Slime possibly have such masterful Magic Elixir skills? Right, Hansen?"

"You should face reality, Miss Witch."