Chapter 191: v2- - 10: the opening ball III

Marian

Marian watched another young lady approach the Emperor.

She had stopped trying to count them.

There were simply too many.

One after another, they came forward with carefully practiced curtsies and equally carefully chosen smiles.

Adrian received each of them with the same composed attention.

He asked questions when appropriate.

He listened.

He thanked them.

Nothing in his expression gave anything away.

Marian found herself watching more closely than she intended.

Not the ladies.

Him.

She was looking for something she couldn’t quite define.

A change in his expression.

A longer glance.

The smallest indication that one of them had caught his interest.

She saw nothing.

Perhaps that was because Adrian was simply very good at his role.

Or perhaps none of them had interested him.

Marian didn’t know which possibility was more reassuring.

She glanced toward the young women waiting their turn.

They were beautiful.

There was no denying it.

Most of them were younger than she was.

Eighteen.

Perhaps nineteen.

Some had the fresh, untroubled appearance of girls who had never had to question what their future would look like.

Marian suddenly became very conscious of her own age.

Twenty-three was hardly old.

She knew that.

But beside an eighteen-year-old debutante, the difference could feel rather larger than five years.

Then there was everything else.

Her broken engagement.

Her marriage that had never happened.

The years she had spent away.

The fact that she had once chosen another man over Adrian.

She looked down briefly.

What exactly had she been thinking?

She had stood before her mirror only hours ago and deliberately chosen the earrings he had given her.

She had told herself that she wanted him to notice.

That she wanted to see his reaction.

But Adrian had not looked at her.

Not once.

At least, not that she had seen.

Marian’s fingers moved unconsciously toward one of the earrings.

The diamond caught beneath the chandelier light.

For a moment, she considered removing it.

It would be easy.

The intermission would come eventually. She could find her maid, take them off, and put them away.

Then she could simply enjoy the evening.

No message.

No expectation.

No possibility of discovering that Adrian looked at her and felt absolutely nothing.

Her fingers stopped.

No.

That was precisely why she had worn them.

She had wanted to know.

If she removed them now simply because she had become nervous, she would be left with the same uncertainty she had walked into the ballroom carrying.

Marian lowered her hand.

She would keep them.

At least until she knew.

Another debutante approached.

Marian looked toward the Emperor again.

Still nothing.

He was attentive.

Impeccably courteous.

Completely unreadable.

Perhaps he truly had moved on.

The thought produced a small, unpleasant ache.

Marian immediately pushed it aside.

She had no right to expect otherwise.

She had been the one who left.

She had been the one who chose Cassian.

Adrian owed her nothing.

If he had moved forward with his life, she could hardly fault him for it.

The final debutante was announced.

Marian watched her approach.

The young woman curtsied.

Adrian acknowledged her.

Then she withdrew.

The presentation was over.

A subtle change passed through the ballroom.

The officials moved.

The musicians adjusted their positions.

The guests began to settle into the next part of the evening.

And Adrian rose.

Marian looked toward him.

For the first time since he had entered the ballroom, there was no young woman standing between them.

Adrian turned.

His gaze moved slowly across the room.

Marian’s breath caught.

She didn’t know why.

Perhaps because she suddenly understood that this was the moment she had been waiting for.

He was looking.

Not at the debutantes.

Not at their families.

At the room.

At everyone.

And then—

his eyes found hers.

Marian froze.

For one suspended moment, she could do nothing.

Adrian was looking directly at her.

There was no mistaking it.

Her heart began beating so quickly that she was certain someone standing beside her must be able to hear it.

She had wanted this.

She had spent the entire evening wondering whether he would notice.

And now he had.

Her first instinct was to hold his gaze.

To see.

To find the answer she had come here for.

Then she remembered the earrings.

Her cheeks grew warm.

He had seen them.

Of course he had.

And suddenly she felt exposed in a way she had not anticipated.

What must he think?

Had he understood why she had worn them?

Did he think she was being presumptuous?

Did he think she was trying to remind him of the past?

Or—

Marian looked away.

The movement was almost immediate.

She lowered her gaze to her fan, pretending to adjust it.

Her heart continued to race.

She had wanted to know his reaction.

Instead, the moment he looked at her, she had become too embarrassed to find out.

Across the ballroom, Adrian remained where he was.

He had seen her.

And he had seen the earrings.

Marian did not look back.

Not yet.

She couldn’t.

She needed a moment to recover the composure she had apparently left somewhere behind her.

The musicians began preparing for the first dance.

Marian finally looked up again.

Adrian was no longer looking at her.

He had already turned his attention toward the officials nearby, speaking to them briefly as the musicians took their places.

Marian felt a strange little emptiness in her chest.

Of course.

What had she expected?

She had looked away first.

Perhaps he had simply taken the hint.

Or perhaps he had seen the earrings, understood what they meant, and decided that he wanted no part in it.

She couldn’t know.

And that uncertainty was almost worse than a clear answer.

The musicians fell silent.

A palace official stepped forward.

The first dance of the evening was about to begin.

Everyone in the ballroom seemed to know what would happen next.

Marian did too.

The Emperor would choose his partner.

Her fingers tightened around her fan.

She told herself she wasn’t waiting.

She was simply curious.

That was all.

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Tb