Chapter 268 : Gummy Bear Pounced on Wang Ze on the Bed and Became Hard Candy Bear

Those who watch the scenery occasionally become the scenery for others.

Bai Bufan and Zhou Baowei sat on the lawn, cracking sunflower seeds, watching Lin Li and Chen Yuying chasing and playing in the spectator stands not far away, occasionally clicking their tongues.

"I'm like a rat in the gutter, stealthily peeping at other people's happiness," Zhou Baowei sighed.

"Then you must be a southern rat, northern ones are too small," Bai Bufan commented.

Zhou Baowei: "..."

"Your mom."

"But, Bufan, when do you think they'll get together?" Zhou Baowei asked, then shook his head: "Some people get together while chatting, some people have their stickers stolen while chatting."

"I guess about the same time Wang Ze and I get together," Bai Bufan said with some certainty.

"What do you mean you and Wang Ze get together, let's speak Chinese, thanks," Zhou Baowei's mouth twitched slightly. "Your words sound like nonsense Daji would say after pouring tea into your mouth."

Bai Bufan smiled disdainfully, then told him about his online dating with Wang Ze.

Hearing such animalistic behavior, Zhou Baowei's pupils quaked.

"So when are you guys meeting offline?"

"Soon, we've already started calling each other 'baby' this afternoon, and agreed to meet for dinner in the cafeteria. We should be able to get together then. After all, having chatted for half a day, we're both quite satisfied with each other." After Bai Bufan finished speaking, he took out his phone, turned on the voice changer: "Brother Wang Ze, what are you doing now?"

Zhou Baowei: "..."

"I don't think Wang Ze has you in his heart either, it's been so long and he hasn't replied," Zhou Baowei sneered after waiting for a minute or two without a reply.

"He'll send it over in a bit. I observed him this afternoon, he's repeatedly recording voice messages right now," Bai Bufan was quite confident.

"What do you mean repeatedly recording voice messages? Aren't voice messages sent as soon as you finish speaking?" Zhou Baowei didn't understand.

"There's a voice changer function in QQ. After speaking, you can choose not to send it but listen to it yourself, and there's an original voice version inside. Every time Wang Ze sends me a voice message, he has to repeatedly speak until he's satisfied before clicking send."

Bai Bufan had figured everything out, because sometimes he would just watch Wang Ze rack his brains to reply to his messages right beside him.

Zhou Baowei: "..."

As if his words were law, Wang Ze's voice message arrived.

—"I'm cheering for the class, Little Wei Bao."

An absolutely magnetic vocal fry, sounding like he was clearing dust from his phone, very pretentious, indeed looking like the product of careful selection.

"Playing so ruthlessly, I hope to see you alive tonight. I'll burn incense for you then." Zhou Baowei couldn't even imagine Bai Bufan's miserable state tonight. Then his eyes lit up, and he suddenly turned his head and patted Bai Bufan's shoulder:

"Hey, Bufan, since you're going to die anyway, how about you change your strategy? Cancel the dinner, continue online dating with Wang Ze for a year or half, and with our mutual understanding of each other's backgrounds, he'll definitely fall madly in love with you.

"When the time is ripe, you arrange to meet offline outside the school, but don't show up on the day of the meeting, and disappear without a trace from then on. After four or five days, you use a family member's tone to tell Wang Ze that 'you' died in a car accident on the way to see him. What do you think?"

Thinking of this plot and Wang Ze's possible reaction, Zhou Baowei rubbed his hands together expectantly like a fly.

It felt like it would be very fun.

Bai Bufan: "(；☉_☉)?"

You hide your depths well, Zhou Baowei.

"Baowei, don't call me an animal anymore, I can't bear such a big title," Bai Bufan conceded. "If you stand between Satan and Yama, the two of them are fucking no different from living Buddhas."

Satan wakes up from a nap and the sky has fallen, he's fucking inexplicably gone to heaven.

...

Thursday afternoon ended. Many events had already determined their final results. Judging from the current situation, Class 4 had a great chance of taking first place in the Senior One division, having scored well in many events.

After Chen Yuying's leg recovered, she and Lin Li went down from the spectator stands back to the field, normally cheering for other classmates.

"Let's go! To the cafeteria!"

After the last event that needed cheering ended, Lin Li, as the frontline of melon-eating, firmly followed Bai Bufan to the cafeteria together with Zhou Baowei.

The three of them sat down in a corner together.

Not long after, Wang Ze, who had taken a shower and had exceptionally fluffy hair, also arrived at the cafeteria and walked towards this corner.

"Yo, just happened to be eating here, what a coincidence," Wang Ze noticed Lin Li and the other two and immediately came up to greet them.

"Yeah, what a coincidence. Wang Ze, why don't you get your food and come eat together," Bai Bufan pointed to the empty seat at the four-person table and said.

"No, no, you guys eat, I'm here waiting for someone," Wang Ze chuckled.

"Waiting for who?" Lin Li and Zhou Baowei maintained the silence expected of melon-eaters throughout, only Bai Bufan asked.

"Hehe, didn't I tell you guys at noon? Of course I'm waiting for my Gummy Bear."

Wang Ze's current smile was comparable to Wang Yousheng's in "Drawing Sword". Then he raised an eyebrow at the three:

"It's good that you guys are here too. Help me out later. If the girl is pretty, give me some tips on how to flirt. I don't count on you two, but Lin Li should be somewhat useful. If she's not pretty, you guys are responsible for finding an excuse to take me away early."

Sure enough, Wang Ze couldn't put aside external beauty either, his body was honest despite what his mouth said.

Then Wang Ze chose to sit down at an empty table behind Lin Li and Zhou Baowei, waiting for his love.

And the real Gummy Bear, under the gazes of Lin Li and Zhou Baowei, stood up, left, and walked behind Wang Ze.

Gummy Bear hugged Wang Ze, took out his phone, turned on the voice changer, and played the pre-recorded voice: "Brother Wang Ze, after hugging you, now I've become Hard Candy Bear, and it's the kind of hard that's unbearable."

"Pfft—"

"Cough, cough!!"

Hearing this voice from behind, Zhou Baowei and Lin Li, one directly sprayed his food out, and the other started coughing wildly. Fortunately, the two were sitting side by side.

Bai Bufan chose the public method with the most bullet comments.

And Wang Ze first turned his head in pleasant surprise, then—"(；゜○゜)?"

He looked at Bai Bufan's smile behind him, and also looked at the chat interface with himself on his phone, closing and opening his eyes countless times, as if he couldn't believe the scene he was seeing.

"No—!!"

"I don't know if Bufan can get into Tsinghua, but I think he's really going to Peking University (be beaten up)," turning his head and seeing Wang Ze, who had already started laughing helplessly and desolately, Lin Li shook his head and sighed.

(Translator's Note: "Bei da" (Peking University) sounds like "be beaten").

"Not only going to Peking University, but he's about to step into his senior year (die)," Zhou Baowei nodded, very much agreeing.

(Translator's Note: "Da si" (senior year) sounds like "beaten to death").

"Bai! Bu! Fan!"

After a brief crash, Wang Ze immediately understood what had happened. His laugh became more and more desolate, more and more chilling.

"Brother Wang Ze—Ah!!"

"Lin Li! Baowei! Help!"

Hearing the screams coming from behind, although it was very appetizing, Zhou Baowei still couldn't bear it, turned his head and asked Lin Li: "Should we save him? It's a life after all."

"Some people are like steak, it's better not to be too well-done. Let's just pretend we don't know him," Lin Li shook his head.

(Translator's Note: "Shu" means both "well-done" for steak and "familiar" for people).

"Okay."

Zhou Baowei nodded. Actually, the death of a roommate wasn't unacceptable. After all, there would be much more space in the dorm.

He could also just throw his clothes on the upper bunk in the future, very convenient.

"Oh right, Baowei, do you know why our country, which considers food as heaven, didn't naturally develop the way of eating steak?" Lin Li suddenly asked.

"I actually know this. The cattle in our country are mainly yellow cattle and water buffalo, their meat isn't suitable for steak. These draft cattle bred for labor work for a long time, their meat is tough. Frying steak isn't as good as making tender beef strips. It's definitely different from the beef cattle specially raised for eating abroad."

When it came to food, Zhou Baowei was still very knowledgeable and explained to Lin Li.

"Putting it that way, I understand. Then here's the question... Baowei, tell me, who was responsible for plowing the fields abroad in the past?" Lin Li fell into deep thought.

Zhou Baowei: "?"

Your mom.

Is it that one?

So hard to guess, feels like it's that one.

"Fuck! Lin Li, you fucking sneak-attacked my merit, you animal!!" Zhou Baowei laughed and cursed.

"Save me... save me... saving me will restore your merit... Baowei..."

Zhou Baowei ignored him.

"Bufan," Lin Li turned his head upon hearing this and suggested to Bai Bufan, who was already lying on the ground: "The hormones secreted during kissing can relieve pain, so when you're being beaten, you can ask the other party for a kiss to stop the pain."

Bai Bufan: "?"

Is this appropriate?

Bai Bufan turned his head and glanced at Wang Ze.

Hard Candy Bear decided he'd better become Dead Candy Bear.

︿(￣︶￣)︿

...

"I will never believe in love again." On the way to the classroom with three people and one corpse, Wang Ze said despairingly, "My pure love was actually given to Bai Bufan, fuck."

"Then thank you very much, Brother Wang Ze, love you, mwah," the corpse behind thanked him.

"Get lost!" Wang Ze turned his head, looking at Bai Bufan fiercely: "I really want to give you an enema with a non-Newtonian fluid right now, so that you can't poop it out no matter how hard you push, but as long as you walk normally, it will flow out as soon as your butt relaxes."

"When you go to hell, you'll be on the same level as Baowei." The image was somewhat unimaginable, Bai Bufan covered his butt and frowned.

"Evil creature, give me all the resources when we play games tonight!" Wang Ze wasn't really angry either, they were all fucking bros.

"Okay, okay, okay."

"My happy and beautiful future is gone and won't come back!" Just pitying his shattered dream, Wang Ze was a bit depressed.

"Young people shouldn't be blinded by female beauty. Is a girlfriend very important?" Lin Li smiled and teased upon hearing this.

"No, I only want a light one," Wang Ze immediately shook his head firmly. "I'm not Jackie Chan, I don't have a drum in my hand, I can't subdue Po Kong."

(Translator's Note: A reference to Jackie Chan Adventures).

Lin Li: "..."

"I'm fucking asking you if it's important (zhong yao), not asking if you want a heavy one (zhong de yao bu yao)," Lin Li raised his middle finger.

"OK! I'll play a light one next time," Bai Bufan chimed in.

"There's a next time!?" Wang Ze went up and gave the resurrected Bai Bufan a Leo Kick, turning him back into a corpse.

Arrived at the classroom.

The situation in the classroom was similar to yesterday, so as the evening self-study approached, the boys played internal games together just like yesterday.

While the battle was fierce, someone patted Bai Bufan's shoulder.

"Who is it, wait a minute, playing a game," Bai Bufan's fingers crackled, not even looking up.

The other party kept patting.

"Who the fuck is it, didn't I say wait a minute!" Bai Bufan was speechless.

"The fucking Xue Jian."

Lin Li beside him sighed. Bai Bufan could fall in the same place twice, it seemed he could never become a Saint Seiya in this life.

Bai Bufan's fingers, which were flying like wild bees, suddenly stiffened. He mechanically raised his head, met Xue Jian's serious face, stood up, his lips trembling for a long time, and finally couldn't help asking: "Teacher, first I apologize for my recklessness, but, Teacher, I'm really curious, were you doing this on purpose this time?"

You clearly could have made a sound the first time you patted me, even a cough would do?

Xue Jian didn't answer Bai Bufan's question, but looked at Lin Li: "In our class, that 'Handsome and Compelling' group, besides you two, who else is there?"

After Fang Lihua contacted him, although the other party didn't provide any student name information, it didn't matter, he just assumed it was Lin Li and Bai Bufan who did it.

And looking at their reaction now, his judgment was very correct.

This is empiricism.

"Teacher, I am 'And'." Bai Bufan, who was already standing at attention on the side, immediately answered to show his loyalty in order to please Xue Jian.

"You are 'And'?" Xue Jian looked at Bai Bufan in confusion, frowning deeply.

Bai Bufan: "(；☉_☉)?"

"Hahaha—" Lin Li and Zhou Baowei sitting on the left and right instantly couldn't hold it in.

Bai Bufan looked at Xue Jian somewhat sadly.

"Teacher, this question of yours is really hurtful... if I count as human."

(Translator's Note: "Ren" means both "And" in the group name and "human").

"No, what Teacher means is, explain to Teacher, what do you mean you are 'And'?" Xue Jian seemed to realize the ambiguity, so he asked again.

Bai Bufan: "..."

Why does it feel even more hurtful?

"Teacher, my identity in this group is 'And'. Each of our identities is taken from the name of the group." However, Bai Bufan also understood Xue Jian's meaning, so he explained.

"Oh, oh, you are 'And' in the group, right, oh, oh, understood," Xue Jian then nodded, patted Bai Bufan's shoulder, and said in a comforting tone: "Of course Teacher knows, you are 'And', you are 'And'."

Bai Bufan: "..."

The more you describe it, the darker it gets.

The last two "you are 'And'", Bai Bufan felt like a weasel that had received canonization.

Fuck, so being 'And' in this group is worse than being 'Compelling'?

"Lin Li, what are you?" Xue Jian asked.

"Teacher, I am 'Handsome', Lin Li is 'Compelling', Wang Ze is 'Group'." Then before Lin Li could answer, Zhou Baowei suddenly stood up and said.

Lin Li: "..."

Zhou Baowei had indeed grown after suffering a loss at noon, his reaction was much faster now.

"So there are two more, which are you two, right..." Xue Jian nodded, then signaled Lin Li and Bai Bufan to wait in the hallway first.

Finally, Xue Jian only brought Zhou Baowei out.

He probably already knew that Wang Ze had little to do with the takeout theft incident and was purely there to eat melons, so he didn't bring him.

"Let's go." Xue Jian took the three of them to the Political and Educational Building again, but this time they didn't go to the principal's office.

It seemed this kind of matter didn't require the principal to handle it.

Walking into the room, there were already four people in the room: Fang Lihua, Senior One Grade Director Zhao Hai, Wang Yuhui, and a woman sitting next to Wang Yuhui, who didn't look like a teacher, probably his mom.

"You're here? Sit down first." Zhao Hai signaled Xue Jian to take Lin Li and the other three to sit on the empty sofa on one side, then got straight to the point:

"The reason I asked everyone to come here this time is to handle Student Wang's takeout theft inci..."

"Teacher Zhao, how can you say that right from the start? This matter hasn't even been confirmed yet. I know my child's temperament, he's always been very well-behaved and studies hard. I haven't shortchanged him on money, it's unlikely he would do such a thing. There must be a reason."

Hearing this, the woman immediately frowned and interrupted, saying dissatisfiedly.

Lin Li covered his mouth with his fingers, let out a breath through his nose, and looked at Bai Bufan: "Clam." (Translator's Note: "Bang" (clam) is internet slang for "can't hold it in").

Bai Bufan covered his mouth with his fingers, let out a breath through his nose, and looked at Zhou Baowei: "Classic."

Zhou Baowei covered his mouth with his fingers, let out a breath through his nose, looked at Xue... suddenly turned his head back to look at Bai Bufan: "Funny!!"

He turned his head too fiercely and almost kissed Bai Bufan, who was still facing him.

Xue Jian: "..."

Mother Wang: "?"

Although she didn't understand what these three words meant, she understood the tone. She immediately raised her volume, her eyes wide with anger: "What do you three mean by this?"

"Auntie, what we mean is that a tiger mother doesn't have a dog son. Your child is definitely your biological son." Lin Li gave the woman a thumbs up and praised.

"What do you mean? Are you cursing people?" The woman was a bit anxious and had already stood up.

"So you think so too?" And Lin Li sat leisurely, unhurried.

"How can you talk like that, child? You—"

"Don't be anxious first, this parent," Zhao Hai stood up and pressed Mother Wang back onto the sofa, then said to her: "Student Wang's parent, I can understand your feelings, but according to the description of Student Wang's roommate, the fact is that Student Wang stole the takeout of these three children, and more than once."

"Yuhui, tell Mom, were you coerced or did they collude to slander you?" Hearing Zhao Hai say this, Mother Wang pinned her hopes on her son again.

And Wang Yuhui, who had been shrinking in the sofa, just remained silent. Hearing this, he just slightly turned his head, looked at the armrest of the sofa, his gaze moving further away from his mother.

Seeing that Mother Wang still wanted to say something, Lin Li didn't want to continue arguing about these things. He pushed his phone to the table in the middle, showing video clips:

"Our operation was recorded by a body camera the whole time, so it recorded Wang Yuhui admitting his crime and begging us to settle privately. Auntie, if you want evidence, this is the evidence. If it's not enough, there are others."

Everyone present looked at the phone on the table, slightly surprised. They even brought out a body camera?

It was actually the video recorded by the action camera. Before chasing to the fourth floor, Lin Li took back the action camera and clipped it to his body.

After the key replays were played in the room, Mother Wang's face became very ugly.

Now there was really no way to argue.

"Mother Wang, can we discuss how to handle this takeout theft incident now?" Zhao Hai asked.

Mother Wang cursed a few words in dialect in a low voice, then said impatiently: "It's just two takeouts, how much money is it? Just compensate them, right?"

Zhao Hai nodded. Seeing that they could finally get to the point, he looked at Lin Li and the other three: "Lin Li, what are your demands?"

"The two takeouts cost a total of 38.8 out of pocket. Including the daily coupons we used, the value is about 54.8. For the compensation amount, I personally prefer a compromise between the two. What do you think, Auntie?" Lin Li analyzed.

"Full compensation! I'll compensate you a hundred, give me the payment code. Making such a big deal out of such a small matter." Mother Wang took out her phone, looking at Lin Li, the backbone of the three, with a disgusted and hostile gaze.

"Auntie, we haven't finished our demands yet. We also need Student Wang to apologize to us, and write a letter of guarantee promising not to steal takeout anymore, to be posted on the bulletin board for at least a week." Lin Li finished his sentence.

Wang Yuhui finally looked up and grabbed his mom's hand.

"No! Absolutely not!" And Mother Wang's attitude was even more intense than her son's. She stood up and waved her hand vigorously.

"Auntie, don't spray saliva, it's a bit disgusting." Lin Li pulled Bai Bufan between himself and Mother Wang.

Bai Bufan: "..."

"Don't talk about these useless things to change the subject! Apologizing is fine, but only in private. Writing a letter of guarantee and posting it publicly, how is my child supposed to study in the future?! How can you be so vicious, child…"

Mother Wang irritably pointed at Bai Bufan, or rather Lin Li behind Bai Bufan, and cursed.

"Study with his mouth. I didn't say he's not allowed to speak from now on," Lin Li said with a confused face.

Mother Wang choked, then became even more irritable: "I'm not in the mood to joke with you right now! I'm saying how can my child study with peace of mind in the future? After it's made public, what will other students think of him? Ah? Have you thought about that?"

"None of my fucking business."

Lin Li's sudden sentence made Mother Wang's emotions incoherent. She looked at Lin Li in disbelief: "What did you just say?"

"I said, how your child studies properly in school, is none of my fucking business?" Lin Li shrugged, then turned his head: "Bufan, is it any of your fucking business?"

"No, Baowei, is this any of your fucking business?" Bai Bufan shook his head first, then turned his head to pass the question.

"He's not the shit I took, of course it's none of my business either. Teacher Xue... forget it, I won't ask."

Zhou Baowei's neck wanted to turn but stopped. He felt like sitting on pins and needles under Xue Jian's gaze, and finally could only sit awkwardly in place.

The more he thought about it, the more uncomfortable he felt. Lin Li and Bai Bufan both had someone to pass it to, only he didn't. It was really unbearable.

"Bufan, change seats."

Zhou Baowei directly pulled Bai Bufan over and swapped seats with him.

This way, the sofa on this side became Lin Li, himself, Bai Bufan, Xue Jian.

Much more comfortable.

Bai Bufan, who was forced to border Xue Jian, blinked, then turned his head and greeted in a low voice: "...Hello, Teacher."

Xue Jian: "..."

(End of Chapter)