Chapter 1271 - 560: There’s Math in the Drink Too_2

Chapter 1271: Chapter 560: There’s Math in the Drink Too_2

"I never said it was good to drink..." Wu Lifeng insists he did not endorse the drink.

"Didn’t you just say it?"

"What I said was that Lin Li took the drink to the next level."

"That doesn’t—"

"Qihuo brother," Wu Lifeng interrupted Fang Qihuo’s rebuttal, and sincerely began, "What’s 9 plus 1?"

"Ten—" After blurting out the answer, Fang Qihuo silently stopped talking and began self-punishment—continuing to drink Lin Li’s cocktail.

Damn, so this is what you meant by taking it to the next level.

Alright, it’s definitely a ten.

In the spirit of not wasting, Wu Lifeng still finished the drink, pouring himself some cool boiled water while chuckling, "What did you mix in this to make it taste so awful?"

"You’re actually inquiring about my trade secrets? But since you’re my cousin, it’s no problem to tell you: 60% mare’s urine, 20% soda water, 10% Sprite, 10% my sincerity and love!" Lin Li isn’t keeping secrets, he says whatever.

"You really don’t like beer, huh? Calling it mare’s urine, although I don’t really like it either, too diuretic." Wu Lifeng nodded in agreement.

Lin Li frowned, "Beer? What beer? Who said beer is mare’s urine? What’s mare’s urine got to do with beer?"

"So it’s really mare’s urine, huh?"

"Wrapped up."

Wu Lifeng didn’t say another word, just flipped the bird.

Even though he arrived at eleven o’clock, he had to follow the old traditions, and ceremoniously ate a bit of rice noodles to go through the motions.

After eating, Wu Lifeng rubbed his stomach and walked over to sit next to Lin Li, elbowing him for attention, "Got plans for tomorrow night? I bought an extra movie ticket, wanna go watch? My treat."

Glanced at the movie ticket screen his cousin showed... A romance film?!!

"Skrrt—" The sound of the chair scraping against the floor was quite piercing.

Distancing himself from Wu Lifeng, Lin Li looked at him warily, "Brother, firstly, we are close relatives, within three generations, so we can’t get married or engage in any such thing. Secondly, my orientation is towards men, thirdly, I already have a girlfriend, so I’m sorry, I can’t accept this!"

The rejected Wu Lifeng hung his head in a bit of dejection.

Lin Li: "(;☉_☉)?"

This time it’s Lin Li’s turn to be dumbfounded.

Seriously bro.

Are you really serious?!

Why are you down like a hired hand going through a breakup?!

"Bro, don’t scare me..." Lin Li shifted a bit further away, looking worried.

Wu Lifeng waved his hand, sighing deeply, "It’s not what you think, the ticket wasn’t meant for you. I originally bought it hoping to watch it with a high school classmate. But when I hinted ’I bought an extra movie ticket,’ she immediately replied with concern ’quick, see if you can sell it on Xianyu.’

I asked ’Are you free?’ she said ’Absolutely.’

I happily typed ’See you on the third night,’ but before I could send it, her message came through—’Lucky you’re an excellent Xianyu seller, I’ll list it for you.’

Lin Li: "O.o?"

She was quite enthusiastic.

Lin Li squinted, realizing something wasn’t right—

"But since you haven’t sold the ticket yet, she tricked you! Her Xianyu account’s seller reputation isn’t excellent at all!!!"

Wu Lifeng: "?"

"What?! It was me who later asked again ’My real question is if you’re free to watch this movie with me on the third night,’ and she...she sent me a series of ’hahaha,’ ’so that’s what it was,’ ’I misunderstood,’ ’not free,’ ’sorry my brain wasn’t working properly hahaha,’ ’awkward yet funny...’ "

Wu Lifeng numbly recited.

This is supposed to be her brain malfunctioning.

Her brain is actually very clever.

With the alert off, Lin Li shortened the distance to Wu Lifeng again, patting his shoulder for comfort, "Bro, at least she won’t string you along."

"Actually, being strung along would feel better face-wise than a direct rejection." Wu Lifeng smiled bitterly.

"Then bro, why not try inviting a tree or a beam to watch? They probably won’t agree vocally, but they can string you along." Lin Li cautiously suggested.

Wu Lifeng’s mouth twitched, "Seriously, what kind of stringing along is that?"

Translation, since you’re a cousin, seriously = you damn.

"So you’re going or not?"

"I’ll pass, not necessarily free tomorrow."

Tomorrow is for visiting grandparents for New Year greetings, although it won’t last into the evening, who knows if plans will change. Plus, watching an artsy romance with cousin is really unnecessary.

Especially anything touching on artsy.

There’s a movie called ’Long Day’s Journey Into Night,’ Lin Li will never forgive it in his life.

It’s the most damned existence among all the films Lin Li has seen in theaters.

Premiering as the New Year countdown event, and marketing it solely as a regular romance film, these directors and marketers truly deserve absolute condemnation.

Grinding through a three-minute apple scene, is this storyline even made by humans?

"Alright then." Wu Lifeng nodded, not pushing further.

"It’s okay, bro, maybe you’ll find success elsewhere on another front." Lin Li consoled.

"Why don’t I feel it at all, just like roof leakage in nightly rainstorms?" Wu Lifeng seemed reminded of another sad affair, speaking more dejectedly, "Lin Li, if you need a Tencent Video membership, you can borrow mine, I just got one yesterday."

"Why did this topic suddenly jump here?" Lin Li asked puzzled.

"Because I found a female character in a drama yesterday who really caught my fancy, every hit was in my sweet spot, so I got a membership for her..." saying this, Wu Lifeng closed his eyes, "And then...she died in the second episode..."

Lin Li: "..."

Honestly, this is a very small matter.

Why does it sound so pitiful and seem worse than getting rejected for a movie invitation?

Amusing.

"It’s okay haha, it’s okay," Lin Li held back his laughter, continuing to comfort, "Bro, did you remember the actor’s name, maybe look up her other shows..."

"I’ve looked it up, her other makeup and styling doesn’t suit my tastes, nothing like how she was before dying... What’s more unforgettable than a lost love is a love that died..."

Oh, aren’t you picky.

Lin Li suspected Wu Lifeng might be a strict craftsman who needs 30 unique pages just to be satisfied with the materials.

"So, do you see now, your brother here has both real-life feelings falling short, with even virtual feelings meant for comfort are cut short, the membership money’s gone, my love life can’t be such a failure, right? Where exactly am I supposed to find success?

Come on, Lin Li, pour me another of your cocktail, whether it’s worth ten points or not, I need more to drown my sorrows!"

"Here, bro, it’s okay, it’s okay, man, everyone’s love life is unsuccessful, there’s not that much pure love in reality, just take it easy..."

"True!"

"Totally right!"

「Lin Li: What’s up? What’s up? What’s up?」

「Chen Yu Ying: Returning New Year’s greetings! Returning New Year’s greetings! Returning New Year’s greetings!」

「Lin Li: Can you say you like me?"

「Chen Yu Ying: Why? "Bear puzzled"」

「Lin Li: My cousin’s love life failed, now he’s sneakily watching me chat with you, so I want to stimulate him."

「Chen Yu Ying: I like you."

「Lin Li: I was kidding, actually there’s no failed love life cousin, he’s not really watching our chat, just wanted to see you send this message."

「Chen Yu Ying: It’s okay."

「Chen Yu Ying: Because even when lying, I like you."

「Lin Li: You truly chose well! Because that last sentence was a lie, my cousin isn’t just watching, but is now choking my neck, planning to kill me, and reviewing which relatives we have."

「Chen Yu Ying: Then be safe."

「Lin Li: It’s tough, he seems desperate."

「Lin Li: If at the start of the new semester, you find I haven’t come and heard stories of my suicide with three shots in the back, don’t believe it, please clear my name."

「Chen Yu Ying: Got it!"

「Lin Li: Xoxo."

「Chen Yu Ying: Mwah!"

"Who are you Mwah-ing, Lin Li!!" Wu Lifeng was now completely in a blood-bursting rage, his eyes suspiciously capable of shooting lasers.

Is Lin Li even human!

One moment he says most people have unsuccessful love lives.

Next moment pulls out his phone, chatting with girlfriend, worried you can’t see it, even aiming the screen at you!

"I need some snacks to quiet the little mouse at home—Lin Li!!!!!!"