The Legendary Sword Saint Is Not Dead! (Re:Zero Parody)

Fake Knight VS Real Homicidal Maniac: 01

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The slum was everything Subaru expected from a place with such a grim reputation: narrow, dirty streets; the stench of rot and waste; and shadowy figures lurking in corners. Broken barrels and crumbling buildings lined the path, creating an atmosphere of desperation. Subaru glanced at Emilia, who held her silver hair close to her hood, trying to avoid the stares of the few people they passed.

"Not the friendliest neighbourhood," Subaru muttered, stepping over a puddle that looked suspiciously like sewage.

As they turned a corner, they found themselves face-to-face with a trio of shady individuals. The leader, a wiry man with sunken cheeks and sharp, darting eyes, grinned at them. Behind him stood a hulking brute with a scar running across his face and a third man who looked unnervingly eager, constantly shifting on his feet.

"Well, well, what do we have here?" the leader said, his grin widening to reveal yellowed teeth. "Two pretty little ladies wandering into our territory? You must be lost."

Subaru rolled her eyes, already irritated. "And here I was hoping for a warm welcome. Guess manners are in short supply around here."

Emilia stepped back, her amethyst eyes darting between the men. "Subaru, maybe we should—"

"Nah, don't worry, Emilia," Subaru interrupted, raising a hand. "I've got this."

The leader snickered, clearly not taking Subaru seriously. "You've got guts, I'll give you that. But guts won't stop us from taking what we want."

The brute stepped forward, cracking his knuckles. "Shouldn't have come here, little knight."

Subaru sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Okay, look, I was really hoping we could skip the whole 'thugs making bad life choices' thing. But if you insist…"

The brute lunged at her, his massive fist aiming for her face. Subaru stepped aside effortlessly, her movements precise and fluid. Before the brute could recover, Subaru grabbed his arm and twisted, flipping him onto the ground with a resounding thud.

"Gah!" the brute cried out, clutching his arm.

The eager man tried to rush her next, swinging a rusty blade. Subaru ducked, her foot shooting out to sweep his legs out from under him. He hit the ground hard, groaning as the blade clattered away.

The leader, now looking significantly less confident, reached for a knife at his belt. But Subaru was faster. She closed the distance in an instant, grabbing his wrist and twisting it until he dropped the weapon. She shoved him back, sending him sprawling into a pile of crates.

"Let me make this clear," Subaru said, standing tall and dusting off her hands. "I don't have time for your nonsense. So unless you want another round, I suggest you leave."

The trio scrambled to their feet, nursing their wounds. The leader shot her a wary glance, then muttered something to his companions.

"You're tough, boss," he said grudgingly. "We'll remember that."

"Good," Subaru replied with a smirk. "Now beat it."

The trio stumbled away, disappearing into the darkness.

A few minutes later, they reached a run down hut. Sunaru knocked on the door.

From a hole, they could see a large, imposing figure sat on a makeshift throne fashioned from a collection of barrels and cushions.

The man was massive, his tan skin stretched over rippling muscles. His face, weathered and scarred, was framed by a thick mane of white hair. His eyes widened as he sized them up, leaning forward. "W-why are you here?! How are you here?!"

"What? I'm here for business, man! Open up!" Subaru said.

He narrowed his eyes. "What's your name?"

"Natsuki Subaru, old man!" Subaru said with her usual flair.

"I see..." he said. "Well, I need passwords." He then shifted a bit. "For a rat?" he said, his gravelly voice echoing in the room.

Subaru tilted her head. "Rat? What rat?"

He grunted. "The password. If you don't know it, then you've got no business here."

Subaru sighed, crossing her arms. "Listen, I'm not here for passwords or games. I'm a Royal Knight on an official mission."

The giant's eyebrows rose, skepticism etched across his face. He stared at her gleaming white armour, the golden trim catching the dim light, and the dagger at her hip. After a long moment of silence, he grunted again and gestured toward a rickety wooden bench.

"Fine, Knight. Come in. But don't touch anything," he growled.

Subaru smirked, motioning for Emilia to follow her inside.

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