Chapter 432 - Where Does It End?

Chapter 432: Chapter 432 - Where Does It End?

Roxie was still staring at Zac’s phone when he came back from the kitchen with her water.

The screen had already gone dark, but the message stayed inside her head anyway.

thanks again handsome boy ??

She hated how quickly her body reacted to it. Her chest tightened first, then her stomach dropped, and suddenly every stupid thought she had spent the past week forcing down came rushing back up at once.

Zac had barely been home.

They barely talked.

Their nights together had disappeared again, their lunch breaks were gone, and most of the time when he finally came through the door he was too tired to keep his eyes open. Roxie had watched him train. She knew exactly where his time went.

She knew all of that.

So why the fuck was some girl comfortable enough to call him handsome boy?

Zac stopped beside the couch when he saw her face.

"What happened?"

Roxie looked at him, then at the phone beside her. She watched his eyes follow hers, and something small changed in his expression. It wasn’t guilt. She knew Zac well enough to know that. It was more like he already knew where this was going and didn’t have the energy for it.

That pissed her off too.

"Who’s Sienna?"

Zac frowned. "Sienna?"

"Yeah. Sienna."

He handed her the water slowly. "Why?"

"She just texted you."

"Okay."

Roxie stared at him.

He stared back for a second before asking, "What did she say?"

That should have made her feel better. If he had something to hide, he probably wouldn’t be asking.

Instead Roxie heard herself say, "She thanked you and called you handsome boy."

Recognition finally crossed his face.

"Oh. She’s one of the student managers."

Roxie’s stomach sank harder.

Of course she was.

The girl with the notebook.

The same girl Roxie had watched talking to Zac at practice. The same girl she had literally laughed at herself for being jealous of because it had looked so obviously work related.

She set the glass on the table before she dropped it. "The girl I saw you talking to?"

"Probably. Brown hair, ponytail?"

Roxie gave him a sharp look. "I didn’t exactly memorize her."

Zac sighed and sat on the other end of the couch. "She needed help moving some equipment earlier. One of the other guys was supposed to help and disappeared, so I carried some stuff for her. That’s probably what she means."

"With handsome boy?"

"I don’t know why she called me that."

"You don’t know?"

"What do you want me to say, Rox? I didn’t ask her to."

Roxie watched his face while he spoke. He looked tired more than anything. His shoulders were slumped, his hair was still damp from the shower and the bruising across his hand looked darker tonight. Nothing about him looked nervous. Nothing about him looked caught.

She knew that.

She hated that she knew that because it meant the fear growing inside her had nowhere reasonable to go.

Her eyes went back to the phone.

"Can I read it?"

Zac went still.

Roxie immediately felt the shift between them.

"What?"

"Your messages with her."

His jaw tightened slightly. "Seriously?"

That one word made something hot crawl up Roxie’s neck.

"Yes, seriously."

"Roxie, we already did this."

"I know."

"You checked my phone before. Why are we back here?"

Roxie bit her lower lip.

Because I barely see you anymore.

Because some girl is calling you handsome while I’m sitting at home counting how many minutes I get with you.

Because I spent the last week wondering if you even wanted to touch me anymore and now somebody else is comfortable enough to send you that.

Roxie couldn’t get any of those thoughts out cleanly.

"Just let me see it."

Zac picked up his phone but didn’t unlock it. "Why?"

"Because I want to know what you two talk about."

"I just told you."

"I want to read it."

His face hardened.

That made dread crawl through Roxie even though another part of her knew exactly why he was angry.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because I thought we were past this."

"Past what?"

"This." Zac held up the phone. "Me having to prove every conversation to you."

Roxie’s chest tightened.

"I’m asking about one girl who just called you handsome boy."

"And I told you who she is."

"Then show me."

"No."

The answer hit harder than it should have.

Roxie stared at him.

"No?"

"No."

For one ugly second, everything inside her went cold.

She knew better.

She knew Zac had already handed her his phone before. He had shown her Coach’s group chat without hesitation. He told her about Dylan’s old feelings in the first place. Zac had answered her questions about Dylan even when the conversation was uncomfortable.

Still, that no landed badly. Her brain grabbed it before common sense could.

"Why?"

Zac laughed once, tired and irritated. "Because this is exactly what I’m talking about."

"What are you talking about?"

"Where does it end, Roxie?"

Her heart started beating harder.

"Don’t turn this around."

"I’m not turning anything around. You asked to see my phone before, I gave it to you. You saw exactly what Coach sent me, exactly what I told you happened, and then you still called Mason because apparently my word wasn’t enough."

Roxie stood up.

"Don’t bring Mason into this."

"How can I leave him out? It’s the same fucking problem."

"It’s not the same."

"It feels pretty fucking similar from where I’m standing."

That hurt because she knew exactly what he meant. Roxie had told him before that she trusted him and didn’t trust herself.

She still believed that. Right now she trusted Zac more than she trusted whatever was happening inside her own head.

That didn’t make the fear disappear.

"Are you flirting with anyone?"

Zac’s face changed completely.

Roxie almost wished she could pull the question back.

Almost.

"What?"

"Are you flirting with anyone?"

"Are you serious right now?"

"Yes."

"No."

"Any other girls?"

"No."

"Girls you talk to outside football?"

"I go to a university, Roxie. There are girls everywhere."

"That’s not what I asked."

"Then ask me what you actually mean."

Roxie felt her anger flare again. "Do you have anybody else besides me?"

Zac stared at her like she had slapped him.

The look immediately made guilt twist through her stomach.

She knew the answer.

Of course she knew the answer.

Zac had spent years being obsessed with her to the point that everybody around them made jokes about it. He had been cut off from his family because of choices tied to her. He came home exhausted and still tried to stay awake because he missed her. Ten minutes ago she had been sitting in his lap feeling exactly how much he still wanted her.

Yet the question had already left her mouth.

Zac stood up slowly.

"No."

Roxie crossed her arms because suddenly she needed something between them.

"No one?"

"No one."

"Then why is some girl texting you like that?"

"I don’t fucking know."

"You must be doing something for her to think she can."

His expression hardened.

"Okay, now you’re pissing me off."

"Good. I’m pissed too."

"I noticed."

Roxie looked away before she said something worse, but every little thing she had swallowed over the past week was already coming up.

Maybe the message wasn’t even the real problem anymore.

Maybe it had never been the problem.

"I barely fucking see you."

Zac went quiet.

Roxie laughed bitterly and rubbed her forehead. "That’s what’s making me crazy. I barely see you, Zac. Our nights are gone again. I don’t even get those stupid twenty minute lunches anymore. I wait for you to come home and when you finally do, you’re asleep before we can even talk."

"You know why."

"I know."

"Then what are we doing?"

"I don’t know!"

Her voice came out louder than she meant.

Zac stared at her.

Roxie could feel tears threatening now, which made her even angrier because crying would make everything feel even more dramatic than it already did.

"I know why you’re busy. That’s the fucking problem. Every reason is valid. Football matters. Dylan’s family is horrible. You need treatment. Coach needs you. Somebody needs film. Somebody needs another meeting. Karen keeps telling me this is your future you’re fighting for and I know she’s right, so every single time I get mad I feel like the biggest selfish bitch alive."

Zac’s face softened slightly.

Roxie didn’t want that either. She wanted him angry because it was easier than looking at him and seeing guilt.

"I’m tired of understanding everything."

"Rox."

"No. I am. I fucking am." She wiped quickly beneath one eye before anything could fall. "I want to be selfish for once. I want my boyfriend home. I want to talk to you without checking how many minutes we have left. I want you awake. I want you touching me. I want to stop feeling excited because you came home before ten like you performed some miracle."

Zac looked down for a second.

That tiny movement pissed her off more because she could see she had hurt him.

And somehow that made her feel guilty too.

Everything tonight made her feel guilty.

"I’m trying, babe."

"I know."

"I really am."

"I know!"

"Then stop acting like I’m choosing everybody else over you."

Roxie stared at him.

The words hit somewhere deeper than the rest.

"I didn’t say that."

"You don’t have to."

"That’s not fair."

"Neither is asking me if I have another girl because somebody sent me a fucking text."

Roxie looked toward the phone again.

"Then let me read it."

Zac’s jaw tightened.

"No."