Chapter 189: What Lauren Wants II

Luke shifted slightly closer, and Lauren let him.

"I don’t mean admired. People can admire what you do for them. And I don’t mean needed."

Her voice softened.

"I mean wanted."

Luke looked at her for a long moment before answering.

"I want you."

The simplicity of the words almost hurt. He didn’t dress them up or turn them into a joke.

Lauren swallowed.

"I know."

Luke frowned slightly, and Lauren almost smiled.

"I do. Last night helped. But hearing it still feels different."

That mattered. She wasn’t going to pretend they hadn’t already talked about it.

Luke considered her answer.

"Then I’ll tell you more."

Lauren blinked. He seemed embarrassed almost immediately after saying it, but he didn’t retreat, and something warm spread through her chest.

"Careful."

Luke’s eyebrows rose.

"Why?"

"I might get used to it."

He looked at her as though the answer were obvious.

"Good."

That one landed harder than it should have. Apparently, Luke noticed, because for once he had enough sense not to celebrate.

Lauren looked away and rubbed her thumb over the side of her hand.

"That’s another thing."

"What?"

She took a moment before answering.

"I don’t want every compliment because I asked for it."

Luke stayed very still while Lauren forced herself to continue before embarrassment could stop her.

"If I tell you exactly what to say, when to say it, and how I want you to look at me while you say it, I’m still controlling the whole thing."

Luke nodded slowly.

"And sometimes you don’t want that."

"Sometimes I want to know what you think before I’ve given you the answer."

That was the real difficulty.

Lauren could teach him what she liked. She could tell him where the boundaries were. She could make everything safe enough for both of them to explore. But if she controlled every word and every movement, she would never know what Luke chose on his own.

"I think that’s what I meant last night when I said I wanted you to surprise me. Not just physically."

Luke’s attention sharpened.

Lauren held his gaze.

"I want you to tell me when you think I look beautiful because you thought it first. I want you to come closer because you want to. I want you to kiss me because you decided you couldn’t stand there anymore."

Heat crept into her face.

"And if I don’t want something, I’ll tell you."

Luke nodded. They had already established that, and there was no reason to repeat the entire boundary conversation.

"I don’t want you guessing whether no means no," Lauren added.

"It does."

"Good."

She glanced back at him.

"But everything before no doesn’t have to be something I planned."

Luke absorbed that quietly, almost visibly fitting the new piece into what they had discussed the night before.

"What about getting it wrong?"

Lauren had expected that question eventually.

"You will."

Luke blinked, and her mouth curved faintly.

"So will I. We’re going to misread each other sometimes. You might try something and discover I’m not in the mood. I might tease you when you want me to stop."

Luke nodded.

"Then we say so."

"Exactly."

That was all it needed to be. No grand rulebook. No perfect performance.

Lauren leaned back slightly.

"There’s one more thing."

Luke looked at her.

She immediately regretted announcing it that way.

"Maybe."

His mouth twitched, and Lauren gave him a look before he could say anything.

"I said I like being praised."

"Yeah."

"There are different kinds."

Luke’s face warmed, and Lauren almost laughed because she could see exactly where his imagination had gone.

"Not everything is sexual."

"That’s not what I was thinking."

It absolutely was.

Lauren decided to spare him.

"I like being told when I’ve done something well. I like knowing someone noticed the work I put into something."

Her gaze dropped toward their hands.

"But from you..."

She stopped.

Luke waited.

Lauren hated how good he had become at waiting.

"From me?" he prompted gently.

She looked at him.

"I think I want something less sensible."

That caught his attention.

"I want you to tell me I’m beautiful when I’m not trying to be. When I’m tired. When my hair is a mess. When I’ve been downstairs for ten hours and smell like coffee."

His lips parted.

"And before you say anything, yes, I know beauty is subjective."

Luke stared at her.

Lauren narrowed her eyes.

"What?"

"I was going to say you’re beautiful when you smell like coffee too."

Her face warmed. Luke seemed to realize he’d managed to say exactly the right thing without trying, and a smile slowly appeared.

Lauren hated how much she liked that.

"See?"

His smile grew.

"See what?"

"That."

Lauren gestured vaguely between them.

"I didn’t ask you to say that."

Luke’s expression changed as he understood.

"No."

"And I believed you."

The last words came out quieter, silencing him.

Lauren let the admission settle between them. She had spent so long controlling what people saw that allowing herself to believe something unprompted felt strangely intimate.

Luke shifted closer until their knees touched. This time Lauren didn’t look down.

"I meant it."

"I know."

His left hand rested on the sofa between them. After a moment, Lauren placed hers in it, and Luke’s fingers closed around hers.

Last night, she had told him she wanted to see what happened when she stopped keeping him passive. Tonight, she finally understood what that meant for her.

It meant leaving some space empty. Space for Luke to choose what to say, space for him to choose when to move, and space for him to surprise her without Lauren secretly arranging the surprise herself.

That was much harder than taking control, and it was also exciting in a way she hadn’t expected.

Lauren looked at their joined hands.

"I still want to guide you."

"I know."

"And there are things I’m definitely going to tell you exactly how I want."

Luke’s face warmed, and Lauren smiled.

"But I don’t want to write the whole script."

His thumb moved slowly across her fingers.

"I don’t want one either."

Lauren glanced at him.

"Good."

Silence settled between them.

Eventually, Luke’s attention dropped to her mouth, and Lauren noticed him noticing that she had noticed.

Usually, this was where she would take over. She would close the distance herself, control the kiss, and decide when it ended.

Tonight, Lauren stayed where she was.

Luke didn’t move immediately. For a moment, she wondered whether he would.

Then he leaned closer.

Slowly.

Not because she had told him to.

Lauren’s heartbeat quickened as the distance disappeared. Luke stopped just short of her lips, close enough that she could feel his breath.

He wasn’t asking with words, but he was giving her the chance to move away.

She didn’t.

Instead, Lauren closed the final distance.

Their kiss was gentle, and Luke’s left hand remained wrapped around hers. Neither tried to turn it into anything more.

When they separated, Lauren stayed close. Luke looked nervous, though not in the old way. There was anticipation there now, and Lauren understood because she felt the same thing.

"When’s your review?" she asked quietly.

Luke groaned.

The timing was terrible enough that Lauren almost laughed.

"Two days."

She nodded while Luke watched her, and Lauren could already see the question forming.

This time, she decided he had earned a little suffering.

She leaned close enough for her mouth to brush near his ear.

"Two days."

Then she kissed his cheek and stood.

Luke remained on the sofa while Lauren picked up both cups and headed toward the kitchen. She had almost reached the doorway when his voice followed her.

"That was absolutely teasing."

Lauren looked back. There was no point denying it.

"Yes."

She carried the cups into the kitchen with a smile.

Wanting Luke to surprise her did not mean she was surrendering all the fun.