Chapter 68.3

Amara groaned as she rolled her neck, trying to shake loose the stiffness that had built up over the last several hours of studying and homework. She clasped her hands behind her back then extended them, stretching out her chest and shoulders. Her tail grabbed the water bottle off the counter, and when she finished the last of its contents, she set it down again. Her eyes skipped across the papers and folders scattered in front of her, remnants of the intense study session Vee had insisted upon today, and she sighed.

“I’m done with this stupid essay,” she muttered. “Again.”

Several feet away, also perched at the counter with a mountain of homework, was her loving girlfriend. Vee set her pen down and reached for Amara’s hand. “I’m glad it didn’t take you too long. Was it at least easier the second time around?”

Vee hadn’t said “I told you so,” which Amara endlessly appreciated. An hour earlier, in lieu of sharpening her pencil, Amara had decided to summon an illusory one. Everything had gone perfectly until she finished her project and dismissed the pencil with a small flurry of embers. The instant it disappeared, so did all the writing on the paper, leaving only a trail of light scorch marks in its wake.

“…Yeah…” Amara muttered into her hand. “And it’s better than it was originally. Stupid paper...”

“I always write multiple drafts for that exact reason,” Vee said with a smile. “The first draft helps me visualize the outline, which makes the second draft more cohesive.”

Amara checked the time on her phone. “I can’t believe how long we’ve been studying. You’re a terrible influence on me, love. What’s next, a proper diet and exercise? Volunteering to clean up trash in Demali? Church service on Sundays?”

“You’re the one in charge of all the cooking, Amara, and you love eating robust healthy meals. You also get plenty of exercise!”

A devious chuckle escaped Amara’s curled lips. “Yeah I do.”

“You get plenty of exercise even if we exclude all the sex. You go to the gym occasionally, and you were just talking about how sparring with Nick might become a regular thing!” Vee said, referencing a conversation from yesterday. Amara had decided that, since Nick could no longer push himself with regular sports, she wanted to give him those opportunities herself.

“All I’m saying is that I was never this wholesome and goody-two-shoes before we started dating,” Amara teased.

They leaned closer and lazily kissed before taking a break to lean against one another. After a small pause, Vee added, “You probably shouldn’t start going to church, though. Sometimes trace amounts of holy power linger, and you might accidentally out yourself.”

Amara pictured herself getting communion and burst out laughing. “Could you imagine a pastor dabbing me with holy water and it immediately burning my flesh? Fuck, that’d be hilarious!”

“I’m sure it would be, love, but maybe we should avoid outing ourselves to random religious leaders? I happen to know a pastor out in Ekstápoli and he’s delightful.” Vee tilted her head, lost in thought. “I should go visit him, actually. The last time we talked I was all mopey because my powers were on the fritz.”

A faint buzzing noise drew Amara’s attention to her phone resting beside her homework. She initially hesitated, choosing instead to nuzzle her horns into Vee’s neck. “Ugh, I need to review all my notification settings.”

“Phone going off too much?”

“Every time I put out a new photo set I get another flood of comments, likes, shares, sales notifications, all that nonsense. I’ve already messed with the settings before, but I think they pushed some new update through, and I’ve got to do it all over again.” Unable to resist the siren’s call of her phone, Amara sat up and checked her notifications.

Mom: Are you free? There’s something I’d like to talk about.

“Oh, shit. It’s my Mom, she’s asking if she can come over to talk about something.”

“Is everything okay?” Vee asked.

“She didn’t say? Although, if there were an actual problem, she’d already be here.” Amara quickly shot off her response, then stood up to pace around the kitchen. “This is perfect! I wanted to take a break anyways!”

Vee joined her in standing up, taking a moment to stretch her wrists and fingers. “Well, if it’s break time, I think I’m gonna jump in the shower. Give my love to Evelyn, will you?”

“Will do, love.” Amara hummed with warmth as she kissed her girlfriend, their lips lingering for a moment longer than they needed to. She watched Vee grab her things and close the door to the bathroom, then refocused on the fireproof mat sitting in the entryway. Moments later, Evelyn walked out of a small torrent of hellfire.

“Hi Mom!” The two hugged each other tightly, their tails twisting together.

Evelyn briefly looked around the apartment as they broke off their embrace. “How are you, dear? Keeping up with your studies, it looks like.”

“We’ve missed way too much school recently, so we’re trying to claw back some semblance of a decent GPA,” Amara grumbled. “But enough about me! You said you wanted to talk about something, right? What’s up?”

“Yes, that’s…” Evelyn hesitated for a moment, which seemed uncharacteristic of her. “Let’s take a seat, shall we?”

As they moved to the couch to settle in, a nervous flutter appeared in Amara’s stomach. “Mom, is everything okay? You seem nervous.”

Evelyn clasped her hands in her lap, nervously wringing them as she avoided Amara’s gaze. A lengthy silence only amplified Amara’s fears, and she reached across the couch to hold her mother’s hand. Evelyn sighed, then finally looked up. “I’ve been thinking a lot about our last conversation. Regarding your feelings about our small family.”

“Oh, is that all? Mom, I promise, I’m not upset with you. It’s not your fault I don’t have any relatives.”

Despite her best efforts, Amara’s words didn’t seem to comfort her mother.

“It’s not that, it’s… I just…” Evelyn huffed in frustration. “Do you remember our conversation just after Christmas? When I finally told you about your father?”

There was, in fact, hardly a single conversation Amara remembered with more clarity. After nearly two decades of wondering, she’d finally been given answers about who her father was. His name was Vicente Calderón, and he’d saved Evelyn’s life after one of her sisters banished her from Hell. With her powers magically sealed, she’d been forced to temporarily live as a human. Connecting with Vicente, learning to see things from his perspective, had given Evelyn the strength to walk away from the terrible persona she’d curated for thousands of years.

“I mean, yeah, obviously. What about it?” Amara asked.

“I told you about my first appearance in Chicago, how Vicente took me in and showed me around his scrappy little community. I also mentioned that your father, he…” Evelyn hesitated for a moment, forcing down a swell of emotion. “He had a daughter.”

“Yeah, Rosie. I remember.”

Keeping a close eye on her mother, Amara tried to steady her voice. When they’d first talked about Evelyn’s history, no topic had been more emotional for her than Vince’s mysterious other daughter. Amara had initially been excited about potentially having a half-sister, perhaps even a whole family, but she’d quickly abandoned those hopes. In seeing the way Evelyn talked about the past, about losing Vicente, Amara had filled in the blanks herself; the only thing that explained Evelyn’s heartbreak was if she’d also lost Rosie. Rather than push for details, Amara had swallowed her curiosity in hopes of sparing Evelyn the pain of recalling every terrible moment of her life.

On her own time, Amara had tried searching for Rosie herself, but all her efforts had been in vain. Vicente had been a Puerto Rican immigrant desperately trying to survive during the Great Depression; it was hardly surprising that all traces of his life had gone unremembered by history.

Evelyn swallowed nervously. “Amara, I… I must apologize. I am a coward.”

“What do you mean?” Amara slid closer on the couch, her tail draping over Evelyn’s shoulder in a bid to comfort her.

“In my haste to avoid confronting my own fears, I may have glossed over some details of what really happened. The truth is that Rosie wanted me to stay, to be a part of her family, but I wasn’t strong enough. Losing your father inflicted a pain unlike any I’d felt in my lifetime. When Rosie asked me to stay, I failed to see the joy in her request. I saw nothing but my own eternal life, being forced to suffer through the death of countless loved ones over and over and over again. In the shadow of that pain, I vowed to never let myself fall in love again. Rosie wanted me to meet her loved ones, her family, but I refused.”

Amara turned over the pieces of her mother’s story, wondering where this might be going. Flickers of hope started burning inside her, but she was hesitant to interrupt her mother’s emotional story.

“For many years, I watched Rosie from afar,” Evelyn continued. “I kept her safe, occasionally intervened to give her the life she deserved, but I never left the safety of my self-imposed isolation. I spoke only with Rosie, and only several times a year when the pain of her absence hit the hardest. Then, at the turn of the Millennium, I saw Heaven cast one of their own down to Earth.”

“And you helped ferry him to safety,” Amara muttered. “You kept him and his daughter safe, and in exchange for your kindness, he offered you a Miracle. You asked to be a mother, and that’s how I was conceived.”

Evelyn reached over and cupped Amara’s cheek. “For a brief moment, I tried to find a way for Rosie to be a part of your life. I met up with her, I shared my fears and desires, but we came to the same conclusion. Above all else, I wanted you to have a normal life. No angels, no demons, nothing that might expose you to the horrors of my past cruelties. The only way to accomplish that was to…” Evelyn choked up briefly. “To bury all evidence of your unusual birth.”

Heavy, conflicting emotions welled inside Amara’s gut. Fear and excitement mingled as she processed her mother’s words, unsure which part of the story to cling to.

“Rosie and I parted ways that day, nearly twenty years ago. I cut all ties with her, partially in the hope of keeping you safe from my past, but also to shield myself from the pain of losing her like I lost Vicente.” Evelyn paused before wiping away several tears. “My life from then on was completely devoted to raising you. You are my pride and joy, the best thing that has ever happened to me, and it was so easy to get swept up in the joys of being a mother. When I found out that you’d inherited my demonic traits, I was terrified that you’d somehow inherited my curse, my Damnation. We know now that my fears were unfounded, of course; you’re mortal, against all odds. My relief over that discovery, my joy over rediscovering the amazing woman you’ve become, blinded me to… other possibilities that are now available.”

“Mom, are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

They clasped hands once more, and Evelyn fought through her tears to meet Amara’s gaze. “Rosie got married. She started a family. Her children had children, who had children of their own. Each and every one of them, including Rosie, are alive today. I tracked down their address, spoke with them, and they want to meet you.”

Amara couldn’t find her voice. It froze in her throat, fighting for space amidst the countless conflicting emotions that all sought release. As the pressure built, her body shook and she began breathing heavily. She jumped up from the couch, hoping that frantic pacing would relieve the tension.

“I— After everything you— She—” Multiple thoughts fought for dominance, but soon one in particular won out.

“I have a family?” She gasped, briefly spinning to face her mother. “A SISTER?!”

She’s known the whole time and never told me? How many times did I complain about not having a family when I was a kid? Did she just never hear me? Was I not complaining loud enough? She could have at least lied about how we were related to all of them, it’s not like I would have known!

No, I totally would have pushed back. I would have pushed and pushed and kicked and screamed and begged for her to tell me who my dad is. What would have happened if I’d cornered some distant relative at a holiday and tried to pry the information from them? Would they have lied to protect the cover story? Would Mom have lied to them too? Of course she would have, who am I kidding? Everything we’ve done these last few months has been in the name of secrecy! What happens if twelve-year-old me decides to make a family tree and I figured out that the timelines don’t make sense? What if I’d snuck out and had DNA tests run when I turned eighteen? I totally would have! As far as Mom knew, I was completely human, and she needed to keep her demonic origins a secret for my entire life, so every scrap of information she hands me only fuels my own desperation more!

Amara’s hair ignited, floating into the air as flickers of reddish-purple flames skipped between her auburn locks. Heat billowed throughout the room, spinning faster with each passing minute as Amara’s thoughts ran away from her.

But she still LIED to me! For twenty years! And she would have kept lying if I hadn’t said something the other day! If I hadn’t accidentally guilted her into— into— into what? Confronting a hundred years of fear? Forcing her to wrestle with the horrors of being an immortal creature who’s fated to outlive every single human that has ever lived? Look at her, she’s miserable! She can’t help but weep every time she talks about Dad, about Rosie, and here I am making everything about me because that’s all I’m fucking good for!

Further into the apartment, the bathroom door opened and Vee rushed into the living room. Her angelic aura bristled and sparked as it reacted to Amara’s panicked hellfire. Without hesitation, she pulled Amara into a comforting embrace.

“I’m here, Amara. It’s okay,” Vee whispered into Amara’s ear.

“I have a family! A SISTER!! And I— I don’t know if I want to be excited or scared or angry or— or—” Now hyperventilating, Amara wrapped her arms around Vee’s waist and squeezed as hard as she could. Their conflicting auras sizzled and popped as they collided, but as they were equal in might, both women were spared injury.

Vee gently rubbed Amara’s back; up for two counts, down for four. She took long, steady breaths of her own, encouraging Amara to match her rhythm. Minute by minute, with each heavy breath, their auras slowly settled. Amara gradually matched her breathing to Vee’s, and with the steady breath came a tentative sense of calm. She focused on Vee’s quiet, loving whispers, on the gentle hand massaging her back in time with their breaths.

As clarity returned to Amara, she found the strength to sit up on her own. When had they fallen to the floor? It hardly mattered. Amara wiped the tears from her cheeks, then looked back at her mother.

Curled up on the couch, Evelyn resembled Amara in more ways than one. Tears stained her cheeks and her tail was coiled tightly around her waist. Her woefully diminished stature, when coupled with her guilt-ridden expression, made her look like a terrified child who’d been caught in a lie.

“I’m so sorry, Amara,” she whispered with a broken voice. “I never wanted to lie to you, I just… I didn’t…”

Feeling stronger with Vee by her side, Amara stood up and joined her mother on the couch once more. She pulled Evelyn into a hug, squeezing her tight and kissing her forehead. “Mom, I’m not mad at— Ugh, no, that’s not entirely true. Yes, I’m mad. I’m furious that I had a family out there this whole time and never knew about it, but I also… Fuck, I mean, I have no idea what it’s like to be you. I’ve been alive for what, nineteen years? Almost twenty? But you’re immortal! You’ve been alive for so many thousands of years you don’t even know how old you are! I can’t imagine how hard it must be to watch everyone you know grow older and eventually leave you behind. What I do understand? More than anything else, I know that you love me, and I love you too. I can’t fault you for making a difficult decision in the middle of an impossible scenario.”

“How did I raise such a perfect daughter?” Evelyn sniffled into Amara’s shoulder. “Ugh, look at me… I try to do something nice for you and now I’m making it all about me.”

“Mom. Look at me.” Amara urged Evelyn to sit up so they could look at each other. “I love you. More than anything. Just because I’m being an overemotional bitch doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate what you’ve done. I mean, fuck—I have a family! They want to meet me! How lucky am I to be able to say that!”

Vee approached the couch and held out two piping hot cups of tea. “Here, you two. Take a deep breath and drink up. It’ll help calm you down.”

“Thank you, Vee,” Evelyn muttered graciously, taking the mug.

“Thanks love,” Amara agreed. “You’re an angel.”

With a playful grin, Vee pinched Amara’s cheek. “I’m only letting you get away with that because there’s too much going on, just so you know.”

“Ha ha, you love me!” Amara said in playful jest.

After getting herself her own cup of tea, Vee settled into the nearby loveseat. “Evelyn, you said your family wants to meet Amara. What did you tell them?”

“Yes, well… that’s where things get a little complicated,” Evelyn said, leaning back to sip her tea.

“I think we’re long past that point,” Amara said, eliciting quiet laughter from both Vee and Evelyn.

“What I mean to say is that, originally, I’d planned to make up a story that I was a distant relative looking to reconnect with my family. When I arrived, however, I learned that Rosie told every single member of her family countless stories about me. They all thought she was spinning tall tales, but when I showed up, they panicked. Rosie’s daughter, who she named Evelyn, began threatening me with a spoon because she thought I was some kind of actress being paid to… what’s the word, punk them? Is that still what kids say?”

Over the next hour, Evelyn shared everything she knew about Rosie’s family. She went over her awkward introduction with them, the ensuing chaos, and the eventual agreement to schedule a meet up. Amara paid rapt attention the entire time, doing her best to memorize names, details, anything and everything Evelyn mentioned. When the conversation ended, they’d finalized a date for Amara to finally meet the family she’d always dreamed of.