Chapter 80

I drew one final line beneath the third section of "Overcoming Overdevelopment".

Stopped.

Read everything again.

And... ended up changing nothing while I did so.

Finally.

Over the span of the previous weeks, my preliminary research into the [Flow], [Foundation], and [Serenity] Aspects had expanded far beyond the four introductory books Lifewarden Irvin provided.

First came the Aspirant repositories, naturally, with their Essence and Aspect-related sections containing hundreds of references to every concept I sought, even when the texts themselves weren't dedicated to them.

Case reports involving Essence Volatility.

Post-advancement stabilization procedures.

Patients whose Aspects interacted with their Essence in uncommon ways.

[Flow]-aligned physiological [Cultivation]s.

[Foundation]-assisted recoveries.

Failed attempts at calming Essence through [Meditation].

Comparative reports on entities possessing similar overdevelopment disorders.

Seemingly enough [Knowledge] to occupy years of studying, but only if I truly sought true [Comprehension] of what was written and illustrated, and not just the part relevant to my own quest for ascertaining and deepening my [Comprehension] of the [Flow], [Foundation], and [Serenity] Aspects.

So I eventually left the Pulse Tower in search of yet more specialized [Knowledge], much like I had upon first reaching the Everwell Sector.

Back then, I had flown from organization to organization without knowing where I belonged, chasing repeated names, entering whatever towers appeared sufficiently important, and asking whoever seemed likely to possess useful [Knowledge] whether they knew anything about my circumstances.

It had worked.

Eventually.

This time was simultaneously different and not different.

I was no longer an unaffiliated five-year-old fairy freshly arrived from the Red Sand Sector with little more than a recommendation letter, a unique Path, and the [Ambition] to somehow find the right answer amid a Civilization I barely understood.

I was an Aspirant of the Pulse Of Eternity.

That distinction mattered.

The pristine white uniform I wore now gave strangers a category into which they could place me before I spoke.

The four-looped golden torus knot over my chest provided a baseline assumption of competence.

My association with the Pulse provided credibility.

And when credibility alone didn't suffice, a pretty display of my [Vitality] Aspect generally did.

More importantly, though...

I now possessed the [Awareness] to know where to look.

The [Clarity] to know what I was looking for.

The [Comprehension] to recognize when someone answered a question adjacent to mine instead of the question itself.

And enough experience navigating the Everwell Sector's web of interests to know how to ask without wasting everyone's time.

I didn't enter an organization and inquire whether anyone knew how to solve Essence overdevelopment anymore.

I entered already knowing which department handled advanced Aspect applications.

Which archives were open to nonmembers.

Which practitioners commonly formed [Flow].

Which schools treated [Foundation] as a central Path Aspect instead of a supporting one.

Which [Meditation]-aligned institutions documented [Serenity].

Which researchers had published on the topic of Essence Volatility.

Which receptionists could actually direct me somewhere useful and which existed purely to stop unimportant visitors from reaching someone important.

My questions narrowed accordingly.

How did the higher-Tier [Flow] Aspect distinguish between redistributing unstable Essence and merely spreading instability across a larger region?

Could a state of "Essence [Flow]" be sustained continuously, or did deliberate intervention become necessary whenever Aspect interactions altered the current?

What happened when the [Foundation] Aspect stabilized something the wielder later discovered shouldn't have been foundational?

Did forming the [Foundation] Aspect after extensive Aspect synthesis differ from forming it before?

Could the [Foundation] Aspect distinguish between an Essence Entity's mature structure and temporary adaptations produced by overdevelopment?

How did the [Serenity] Aspect halt the propagation of Essence disturbances without simply suppressing their expression?

What parts of that process relied upon the Aspect itself?

What parts could be reproduced through other Aspects such as [Clarity], [Harmony], [Purity], [Mastery], or sufficiently refined [Meditation]?

Specific questions.

Specific answers.

And when someone didn't know...

I left.

When someone attempted to redirect me into a several-hour introductory lecture covering [Knowledge] I already possessed...

I interrupted them politely.

When access required payment...

I finally found a [Purpose] for my accumulated credits, which were now in the tens of thousands after combining my Aspirant-enhanced salary and that of my completed assignments.

When access required institutional sponsorship...

I presented the Pulse.

When access required a rank whose social recognition was beyond a "mere" Aspirant rank...

I wrote down exactly what I had been denied and moved on.

It was almost entertaining to compare the process with my first exploration of Everwell.

Almost.

Mostly, it was efficient.

The resulting [Knowledge] accumulated.

My preliminary assumptions survived some encounters.

Others didn't.

The [Flow] Aspect remained promising, but the amount of [Mastery] required before it could significantly influence one's own Essence turned out far greater than the first introductory volume suggested.

Tier mattered.

But so did the [Comprehension] and [Insight] attained.

A Tier 3 [Flow] Aspect whose wielder spent their entire Path directing the likes of [Water] through [Mana] wouldn't necessarily manipulate their Essence as naturally as a practitioner with a Tier 2 [Flow] Aspect who had spent years treating every internal process as a current.

That was good news.

Tier advancement remained necessary, but specialization and [Mastery] could compensate for part of the distance and time required to be invested.

As for the [Foundation] Aspect, it only became more attractive the deeper I investigated it.

The Aspect didn't simply "make one's Essence stronger".

That simplification had been so egregious I immediately discarded several sources that relied upon it.

The [Foundation] Aspect reinforced whatever had genuinely become [Foundation]al to one's existence.

The problem was that the distinction between fundamental and merely entrenched wasn't always obvious.

Something practiced for a century could feel [Foundation]al while remaining irrelevant to the actual direction of one's Path.

Something acquired yesterday could be [Foundation]al if every prospective development already depended upon it.

Some practitioners had spent decades gradually correcting [Foundation]s they established too hastily.

Others had deliberately kept the Aspect broad enough that its earliest Tiers reinforced only extremely basic structures.

Their body.

Their core Aspects.

Their most integral [Knowledge].

Then they refined it later.

In that sense, the [Foundation] Aspect was uniquely compatible with Paths intended for the extremely long-term.

As for the [Serenity] Aspect...

My conclusion barely changed.

Useful.

Potentially extraordinarily useful.

Unfortunately, not for me.

At least not as an Aspect.

Not that the deeper principles I indistinctly grasped weren't extremely tempting.

Preventing one disturbance from provoking another.

Stopping amplification.

Allowing Essence to settle without forcing it still.

There was something there.

Something my existing Path might eventually reproduce.

I had yet to grasp enough to name it.

So I didn't.

All that research eventually returned me to my booknest.

To my notebook.

To the same question I was required to answer numerous times throughout my Path.

What mattered most?

This time, the answer naturally split into three levels of priorities.

The first being one that wouldn't surprise anyone who was acquainted with my Path.

The formation and subsequent advancement, [Comprehension], and [Mastery] of the [Flow] and [Foundation] Aspects, until one or both became capable of meaningfully reducing the time I spent shackled by my overdevelopment disorder.

The [Foundation] Aspect would expand what my Essence could sustain before overdevelopment became dangerous and accelerate how quickly existing development became integrated into something stable.

The [Flow] Aspect would allow me to [Control] instability while it existed.

Distribute it.

Redirect it.

Prevent localized disturbances from escalating into the larger volatility events that currently forced me to stop almost everything for weeks.

Neither promised freedom.

But they promised less idleness.

That was enough to make them the uncontested highest priority.

Every day removed from an idle period was another day in which I could pursue further Essence development.

Further Essence development would gradually increase the daily Essence development quota that my Essence could endure.

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The increase of my daily Essence development quota would [Cycle] back in such a way that my every improvement would compound.

And if the [Foundation] Aspect eventually allowed me to sustain twice as much development before reaching a dangerous threshold, and the [Flow] Aspect allowed that development to settle more efficiently...

Then I would finally have hope of resuming the sort of [Cultivation] routine I had been denied for too long.

Though it all remained purely hypothetical for now...

Beneath that came the second priority.

My [Faith].

Something that was contrastingly simultaneously inevitable and pseudo-indefinitely postponable.

Inevitable because I didn't intend to veil my Path in [Secrecy].

Pseudo-indefinitely postponable because I could veil my Path in [Secrecy], rendering the [Faith] directed at my existence a mere insignificant trickle for the foreseeable decades and centuries.

Except I wouldn't.

The long-term possibilities were simply too enormous.

The [Paragon] Aspect.

Potential interactions between [Faith] and [Guided].

The possibility of others deriving direction from my Path.

A network of entities whose interests could intersect mine across Civilization's web of interests.

A route toward influence extending far beyond anything my physical size or institutional rank could accomplish alone.

Yet, I had spent most of the previous year and a half doing almost nothing with it.

Other matters had been more pressing.

Increasing my [Comprehension] of the Everwell Sector.

Proving myself as a member of the Pulse Of Eternity.

Forming the [Mastery] and [Vitality] Aspects.

Acquiring solutions for my overdevelopment disorder...

All valid priorities.

But I had no intention of abandoning [Faith].

So I finally decided to settle it as my second priority.

Not above solving my overdevelopment disorder.

But directly beneath it.

As for the tangible [Cultivation] I intended for it...

Forming the [Inspiration] Aspect remained one of the most obvious initial objectives.

But whether I formed it or not...

What took precedence was the [Cultivation] of the [Foundation] of my future [Faith].

What did believing in me actually mean?

What did I offer?

What did I expect?

How would [Guided] interact with those who dedicated [Faith] to me?

What parts of my Path were meant to inspire imitation?

Which weren't?

Could someone follow my fundamental [Truth] of [Cultivation] while possessing [Ambition]s entirely unlike mine?

How involved would I become in their Paths?

How much authority did I even want over them?

Questions I had once exhausted my [Knowledge] attempting to answer.

Now...

I possessed several additional years of experience.

A deeper [Comprehension] of Civilization.

A better [Comprehension] of institutions.

A firsthand perspective on how relationships became webs of mutual interests.

A formed [Vitality] Aspect whose conceptualization had taught me exactly how disastrous it could be to construct something complicated atop a poorly understood [Foundation].

I had changed.

Therefore, my old conclusions deserved review.

This time, however, I wouldn't sit in a repository and attempt to answer every question through thought alone.

The Cult Of The Divines existed.

So did countless [Faith]-aligned organizations.

Believers.

Priests.

Prophets.

Living objects of [Faith].

Individuals who had already encountered and solved problems I didn't yet know existed.

My previous decision to ignore those sources until my own ideas matured had served its [Purpose].

That [Purpose] had now expired.

Hence, I would go learn.

The third priority contained everything else capable of elevating my Path.

Aspect research.

Potential synergies.

Applications of existing Aspects.

Research into the principles underlying [Serenity].

[Knowledge].

[Truth].

[Mystery].

Anything that emerged from my broader studies and proved sufficiently compatible to warrant sustained investigation.

Not all of it would result in new Aspects.

Most wouldn't.

Twelve Aspects already gave my Path more than enough conceptual structures to deepen without adding new ones, even seemingly highly-compatible ones.

The point was advancement.

Integration.

Elevation.

Finding concepts whose [Comprehension] improved my Path in meaningful ways beyond those I already possessed.

And if, along the way, one proved sufficiently integral to deserve formation...

Then I would form it.

As for everything else...

[Guided] subsumption.

Essence Genesis.

Essence Evolution.

The Everwell Realm.

Several lines of research regarding the deeper nature of Origin Aspects.

Unanswered questions surrounding my own conception.

[Aura].

The Fairy Court.

The Creed Of Nonexistence.

And a dozen other subjects...

I didn't forget about them, but neither did I assign them any manner of priority.

I wouldn't schedule any dedicated [Cultivation] time for them.

I wouldn't actively pursue them.

If the priority level they belonged to needed a name, then it would be happenstance.

If I encountered an [Insight] relevant to [Guided] subsumption...

I would follow it.

If someone placed useful [Knowledge] regarding Essence Genesis before me...

I would read it.

If an opportunity arose to witness a controlled Essence Evolution...

I would rearrange nearly anything to observe.

If an Everwell Realm expedition aligned perfectly with my other objectives...

I would consider entering.

But I would not dedicate even a minute of my idle time to searching for leads that might not exist.

No more researching Essence Genesis solely because understanding how Essence originated might one day clarify my own existence.

No more hunting access to inaccessible Essence Evolution texts merely because permanent improvement sounded fascinating.

No entering the Everwell Realm just because it existed and I eventually intended to study it.

Those pursuits weren't abandoned.

They simply had to earn their way back into relevance.

An [Insight].

New [Knowledge].

An opportunity.

Something.

Until then...

I had better uses for my time.

I reread all three priority sections.

Then the happenstance category.

Then the notes explaining why each subject belonged where it did.

I checked the assumptions supporting every decision.

Compared the expected Essence-development costs.

Considered which objectives competed for the same time.

Which supported one another.

Which could be performed during low safety margin periods.

Which demanded I ignite my [Ambition].

Which relied upon external institutions.

Which could produce progress while I fulfilled unrelated obligations.

I searched for circular reasoning.

Hidden assumptions.

False urgency.

Objectives retained purely because I had spent time pursuing them in the past.

Nothing survived my and [Guided]'s scrutiny that shouldn't.

Eventually, with my Path development charted for the foreseeable future, only one matter remained.

The Pulse Of Eternity.

More precisely...

My mandatory duties.

I stared at the small section of the notebook where I had written them.

There wasn't much.

Not because the Pulse had become irrelevant.

It hadn't.

The organization remained extraordinarily useful.

Its repositories alone could occupy me for years of intensive [Comprehension] [Cultivation].

Its recognition opened doors.

Its members possessed [Knowledge] I couldn't acquire elsewhere.

Its assignments exposed me to unusual environments and physiologies.

Its hierarchy provided a straightforward route toward greater authority.

But my reason for dedicating so much of my time to Pulse duties had changed.

When I first joined, nearly every hour beside Xafsa served my Path directly.

Every patient furthered [Awareness].

Every procedure exercised [Will].

Every unfamiliar physiology contributed toward [Vitality].

Every correction brought me toward [Mastery].

Every duty increased my standing enough to secure access to the very [Knowledge] I needed to address my disorder.

The work had been its own [Cultivation].

Now...

I possessed [Vitality].

I possessed the promised [Knowledge].

I knew where to begin attacking my overdevelopment disorder.

Thus, while healing strangers remained useful...

It was no longer sufficiently useful to warrant occupying the majority of my waking periods.

That made my conclusion simple.

I would ask Xafsa to release me from as many routine duties as it could reasonably allow.

Alternatively, I would prioritize assignments that removed me from the Pulse Tower for long enough periods that I could pursue my own agenda.

Remote clinics.

Long-term observation stations.

Research facilities.

Institutions where a Pulse Aspirant was useful enough to justify deployment but where active intervention remained uncommon.

Preferably assignments near places holding [Knowledge] relevant to the establishment of my [Faith] or the [Flow], [Foundation], or [Serenity] Aspects.

One Pulse obligation.

Multiple personal returns.

That was the optimal arrangement now.

And considering Xafsa's behavior over the previous months...

I doubted my request would surprise it.

Would it even qualify as a change in the original arrangement?

Our relationship had always been mutually beneficial.

Xafsa became my primary intermediary with the Pulse.

It acquired the earliest institutional relationship with me.

Its judgment became attached to my development.

Every one of my future advancements through the ranks would validate its decision to take responsibility for me.

Until I eventually reached Restorer myself—or surpassed it—Xafsa retained something resembling priority claim over my development within the organization.

Not formal ownership.

Obviously.

Something more useful.

Association.

When someone asked who had first instructed Aspirant Solaena within the Pulse...

Xafsa.

Who evaluated me when I arrived?

Xafsa.

Who made me its personal aide against convention?

Xafsa.

Who supervised the formation of my [Vitality] Aspect at record pace?

Xafsa.

The web of interests remembered such things.

In exchange...

I received a mentor who [Guided] me through a field in which I would otherwise have wasted years rediscovering established mistakes.

A route into the Pulse.

Time to familiarize myself with the customs of the Everwell Sector.

Exposure to its institutional interests.

A structured environment in which to form the [Mastery] and [Vitality] Aspects.

And a pretty white uniform that caused strangers to treat me with a degree of favorability I had done nothing to warrant.

An exceedingly favorable exchange.

That it had lasted a year and a half before my interests began pulling away from ordinary Aspirant duties was perhaps quicker than Xafsa originally anticipated.

But if anything, that only increased the value of letting me continue my development on my own.

Preventing me from pursuing the [Flow] and [Foundation] Aspects so I could spend another thousand hours reviewing routine patients would seem to be an extremely inefficient use of whatever investment the Pulse believed it had made in me by providing me with the [Knowledge] to seek them out to begin with, after all.

Also, Xafsa was many things, but I had never known it to be inefficient.

So, after one final review of my priorities, I closed "Overcoming Overdevelopment".

Stored it within my uniform.

Left my booknest.

And immediately flew toward the four hundred and fifth floor.

There was no reason to wait.

Xafsa was in its office.

It was nearly always in its office when no treatment, meeting, or other responsibility required it elsewhere.

The door admitted me.

I entered.

"I have finalized my Path development planning..."

Then unhesitantly started presenting my entire plan.

Efficiently.

No attempt to justify every thought that had led me there.

Only the result.

The [Flow] and [Foundation] Aspects would receive the overwhelming majority of my available Essence development quota until they formed and advanced far enough to attenuate my Essence overdevelopment disorder.

Establishing my [Faith] would be my second priority.

Broader Path research and the reproduction of [Serenity]-like effects through existing Aspects would occupy the third.

Everything else would become opportunity-dependent.

And because my present Pulse duties no longer aligned strongly enough with those objectives to justify their current time expenditure, I wanted them either reduced or gone.

If complete reduction was institutionally impossible, I preferred assignments that brought me near relevant organizations or gave me prolonged periods of isolation.

Xafsa listened.

Reviewed my written outline.

Asked for none of the explanations I had already provided unless some operational consequence required clarification.

Then approved.

Not completely.

I remained an Aspirant of the Pulse Of Eternity.

Membership still carried obligations.

My rank couldn't become a decoration I wore solely to secure access elsewhere.

The minimum Xafsa judged acceptable was one formal Pulse assignment every week.

One.

Everything beyond that would become optional unless emergencies, institutional requirements, or future advancement conditions temporarily altered the arrangement.

More interestingly...

Xafsa didn't merely reduce my duties.

It started optimizing them.

The Cult Of The Divines came first.

I had already intended to visit it as part of rebuilding the [Foundation] of my [Faith], but according to Xafsa, the Cult maintained multiple facilities where Pulse personnel were periodically assigned to address the biological consequences of divine practices, [Faith] phenomena, prolonged ritual deprivation, and Aspect manifestations.

An assignment there would give me legitimate reason to remain inside rather than approaching as an unaffiliated researcher asking questions from the entrance.

Then Xasfa went on to list several other institutions I may want to visit...

Like one specialized in fluid-based physiologies and environments, which undoubtedly had deep [Comprehension] and [Mastery] of [Flow]-aligned Aspects.

Or a separate contemplative institution that cooperated with the Pulse on patients who had suffered light Essence corruption and thus required prolonged Essence stabilization.

Xafsa also listed several obscure prospective assignments that led to unusual research repositories or hosted Essence Entities whose Paths intersected mine in ways I might not predict.

I recorded every one.

Then, just like that...

My duty obligations nearly disappeared.

One assignment every eight days.

The minimum administrative requirements attached to my rank.

Keeping Xafsa informed of significant developments.

That was it.

In exchange...

The rest of my time became mine again.

Leaving Xafsa's office with considerably fewer scheduled duties than when I entered, I didn't celebrate in any way.

I simply adjusted my planning.

The free periods opened.

One after another.

Hours.

Days.

Entire stretches of waking time with nothing imposed upon them.

Now...

Where to begin?