Chapter 429: I Look Like A Stranger

Lilith leaned against him and tried to breathe through the frustration.

She hated this. Hated being weak. Hated needing help with basic things like standing up.

"Bath first," Lucian said, moving to her other side. "You’ll feel better once you’re clean."

Lucian guided her slowly toward the attached bathroom, supporting her weight, moving at her pace, not rushing her.

The bathroom was exactly as Lilith remembered it. Large tub. Separate shower. Elegant fixtures that spoke of wealth without being ostentatious.

Sebastian turned on the tub’s faucet and adjusted the temperature while Lucian helped Lilith sit on the edge of the tub.

"Can you...." Lilith stopped, feeling suddenly embarrassed. "I can do this myself. You don’t need to...."

"We’re helping," Sebastian said firmly. "Don’t argue."

Lilith wanted to protest. But the truth was she was not sure she could actually bathe herself without help. Her arms felt like lead. Her coordination was off. Everything required more effort than it should.

"Okay," Lilith said quietly.

Sebastian knelt in front of her and gently began helping her out of the sleep shirt she was wearing. His movements were careful and fulled with tender care.

Lucian supported her from behind, keeping her steady as Sebastian removed her clothes.

When Lilith was finally undressed, Sebastian carefully lifted her and lowered her into the warm water.

The heat felt incredible.

Lilith closed her eyes and let herself sink deeper into the tub, feeling the warmth seep into her aching muscles.

"Better?" Sebastian asked.

"Much," Lilith admitted.

Sebastian grabbed a washcloth and soap and began carefully washing her arms. His touch was gentle. Almost reverent. Like she was something precious that might break if handled too roughly.

Lucian knelt beside the tub and started working shampoo through her hair.....his fingers massaging her scalp in slow, soothing circles.

Lilith felt tears burn behind her eyes.

Not from sadness exactly. Just....overwhelming emotion. Gratitude that they were here. Grief that Nicholas was not. Relief that she was alive mixed with guilt that it had cost so much.

"I’m sorry," Lilith whispered.

"For what?" Lucian asked, still working the shampoo through her hair.

"For this. For needing help. For...." Lilith’s voice broke. "For being here when Nicholas isn’t."

Sebastian’s hands stilled on her arm. "Don’t apologize for being alive, Lilith. Never apologize for that."

"But he’s not...."

"He’s not here because he chose to trade his life for yours," Sebastian interrupted gently. "That was his decision. His sacrifice. And we honor it by taking care of you. By making sure his choice wasn’t wasted."

Lilith looked at him through blurred vision. "How are you so calm about this? How are you not....."

"We’re not calm," Lucian said quietly. "We’re devastated. We’re broken. We’re grieving our brother every second of every day. But Lilith, we also have you back. And that’s what Nicholas wanted. So we’re trying. We’re trying to be what you need while also falling apart inside."

Sebastian resumed washing her arm. "We take turns. When one of us is breaking down, the other stays strong. We’ve been doing it since you woke up. Probably will be doing it for a long time."

"I don’t know how to do this," Lilith admitted. "I don’t know how to grieve him and live at the same time."

"Neither do we," Sebastian said. "So we’ll figure it out together."

They finished bathing her in silence, Sebastian washing her body with careful, gentle strokes while Lucian rinsed the shampoo from her hair and worked conditioner through the strands.

When they were done, they helped her out of the tub and wrapped her in a soft towel.

Lucian carried her back to the bedroom while Sebastian went to find clean clothes.

"I can walk," Lilith protested weakly.

"I know," Lucian said. "But I want to carry you. So let me."

He set her down on the edge of the bed and Sebastian returned with clothes....soft pants and a loose shirt that would be comfortable and easy to move in.

They helped her dress with the same careful tenderness they had shown during the bath. No rushing. No impatience. Just two men taking care of someone they loved.

When Lilith was finally dressed, she looked at herself in the mirror.

She looked....different.

Not physically exactly. Same face. Same hair. Same body.

But something in her eyes had changed. Something that spoke of death and resurrection and experiences no living person should have.

"I look like a stranger," Lilith said quietly.

"You look like someone who died and came back," Sebastian said. "Give yourself time to adjust."

Lilith took a breath and turned away from the mirror. "I want to go downstairs. I want to see...." She stopped. "I need to see that the world is still here. That everything didn’t fall apart while I was gone."

"The pack will want to see you," Lucian said. "They’ve been worried. When you screamed and shattered the windows, everyone felt the power surge. They know something happened."

"What did you tell them?" Lilith asked.

"That you’re alive," Sebastian said.

Lilith felt her chest tighten. "They must hate me."

"They don’t," Lucian said immediately. "They’re grieving Nicholas. But they’re also relieved you’re alive. It’s complicated. Everyone is feeling too many things at once."

"Just like us," Lilith said quietly.

"Just like us," Sebastian agreed.

They made their way slowly out of Lilith’s room and into the corridor.

Pack members were already moving through the halls....going about morning routines, repairing damage from Thalia’s attack, trying to return to some semblance of normalcy.

The moment they saw Lilith, everything stopped.

Every conversation died. Every movement stilled. Every pair of eyes turned to stare at her.

Lilith felt the weight of their attention like a physical thing pressing down on her shoulders.

Some looked relieved. Some looked afraid. Some looked awed in a way that made Lilith deeply uncomfortable.

A young pack member....barely more than a teenager, took a step forward and bowed slightly. "Luna. We’re....we’re glad you’re alive."