Chapter 426: We Are Planning A Memorial

Lilith’s POV

Lilith woke to grey nothing.

For a disorienting moment she thought she was back in the Veil, surrounded by that endless expanse of nothingness where lost souls wandered and death fed on everything it touched.

But then she felt the mattress beneath her. The weight of blankets. The warmth of a hand wrapped around hers.

Real. Solid. Alive.

Lilith’s eyes flew open and she gasped....sharp and desperate like she had forgotten how to breathe properly.

The room came into focus slowly. Her bedroom at the estate. Moonlight streaming through the window. The familiar furniture and walls that meant safety.

Not the Veil. Not death. Not grey nothing.

She was home.

But her heart was still racing. Her skin was covered in cold sweat. And the dream....

The nightmare clung to her like oil she could not wash off.

She had been back in the Veil. Lost in the grey. Searching desperately for something she could not name. And then she had found him.

Nicholas.

Standing in the nothing. Watching her with those calm grey eyes that had always made her feel safe.

She had run to him. Had tried to grab his hand. Had tried to pull him back with her.

But the moment her fingers touched his, he had smiled sadly and dissolved into nothing.

Just....gone.

Like he had never existed at all.

Lilith pressed her hands to her face and tried to breathe through the panic.

"You’re awake."

The voice made Lilith’s head snap to the side.

Lucian was sitting in a chair beside her bed. He looked exhausted, dark circles under his eyes, hair disheveled like he had been running his hands through it repeatedly, clothes rumpled like he had been wearing them for days.

But he was there, watching her with an expression that was equal parts concern and something that looked like relief.

"How long was I asleep?" Lilith asked. Her voice came out rough.

"About six hours," Lucian said. "You fell asleep around sunset. It’s past midnight now."

Lilith looked around the room and noticed Sebastian for the first time.

He was asleep in another chair near the window, slumped sideways with his head resting against the chair back, one arm dangling off the side. He looked as exhausted as Lucian. Maybe more.

"He hasn’t left this room since we brought you back here," Lucian said quietly, following her gaze. "Neither of us have. We’ve been taking turns keeping watch while the other sleeps."

"Keeping watch for what?" Lilith asked.

Lucian’s jaw tightened. "In case you...." He stopped. "In case something happened. In case you needed us."

In case I died again, Lilith thought but did not say.

She sat up slowly and immediately regretted it. Her body felt wrong, like all her muscles had been replaced with something heavier and less cooperative. Moving required conscious effort in a way it never had before.

"Careful," Lucian said, reaching out to steady her. "Your body is still adjusting to....." He stopped again.

"To being alive?" Lilith finished.

"Yes," Lucian said.

Lilith looked down at her hands. They looked normal. Fingers. Palms. No blood. No grey nothing clinging to her skin.

But they did not feel normal.

Nothing felt normal.

"I had a nightmare," Lilith said quietly. "About the Veil. About...." She stopped, unable to say his name.

"Nicholas," Lucian finished for her.

Just hearing the name spoken out loud made something crack in Lilith’s chest.

"Yes," she whispered.

Lucian was quiet for a moment. Then he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, looking at her with an expression that was more raw and open than she had ever seen from him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

Lilith almost said no. Almost deflected. Almost changed the subject to something easier.

But what was the point of pretending?

Nicholas was dead. Gone. Dissolved into nothing. And avoiding talking about it would not change that reality.

"I dreamed I was back in the Veil," Lilith said. "Searching for something. And then I found him. Nicholas. Just standing there in the grey. And I tried to...." Her voice broke. "I tried to pull him back with me. But the moment I touched him, he disappeared. Like he was never real at all."

Lucian’s expression tightened with something that looked like pain.

"That’s how it feels," he said quietly. "Like he was never real. Like we imagined him. Because there’s nothing left. No body. No grave. No physical evidence that he ever existed except our memories and the hole where he used to be."

Lilith looked at him sharply. "What do you mean no body?"

Lucian met her gaze directly. "His body dissolved the moment his soul was consumed in the Veil. Victoria told us. One second he was lying on Thalia’s altar in the Underworld. The next..." He made a gesture like something vanishing into smoke. "Gone. Nothing left to bury. Nothing to bring home."

The words hit Lilith like a physical blow.

"Nothing?" she whispered. "Not even..."

"Nothing," Lucian confirmed. "No remains. No ashes. No corpse. Just....absence."

Lilith felt tears burning behind her eyes. "So we can’t even bury him. Can’t even have a funeral with a body to mourn over."

"We’re planning a memorial," Lucian said. "Tomorrow probably. Or the day after. Whenever you’re ready. The pack needs it. They need to say goodbye even if there’s nothing physical to say goodbye to."

"I’m never going to be ready," Lilith said.

"I know," Lucian said. "Neither am I. Neither is Sebastian. But we’ll do it anyway because it’s what Nicholas would have wanted."

Lilith looked at him, really looked at him and saw the grief written across his face. In the tension of his shoulders. In the way his hands were clenched into fists on his knees like he needed something to hold onto.

"You’re angry," Lilith said.

"Yes," Lucian said without hesitation.

"At me?" Lilith asked quietly.

"No," Lucian said immediately. "Never at you. I’m angry at...." He stopped and made a frustrated sound. "Everything. The Moon Goddess for cursing us in the first place. The Veil entity for consuming Nicholas. Fate for putting us in a position where one of us had to die for you to live. But never at you, Lilith. None of this is your fault."