“A Fan of Your Physical Form” (57.1) (Oka)

The air was crisp and fresh. Birds chirped, and anticipation brewed within me. I sat staring intently at my girlfriend. The grass was soft against my palms.

We were at the side of a small pond, and we were totally alone. Zeta had a fluffy bathrobe on. She dipped a toe in the water, chuckling softly.

“The water’s a bit cold,” she said. “Kay, are you ready?”

I nodded. I had been waiting so long for something like this, and now it was finally happening.

Zeta smiled, undoing the belt. I couldn't believe this was happening, but I was so glad we finally got here, somehow. My gaze was locked onto her neck, her collarbones, as she slowly took her robe off.

The moment the bathrobe was past Zeta’s shoulders, I woke up. 

It was one of the crueler dream interruptions I'd experienced.

I didn’t sleep in–having Lillia as a roommate meant I was on the same schedule as her, which meant regular wake ups at the same time every day. This was all my body's internal clock waking me up, stopping a dream at the worst possible time. That dream was all I could think about all morning as I slowly woke up and got ready for the day. If I was less groggy, I would have marched myself right over to Zeta's room to see her right away before class, but something about my dream being cut off made me feel sleepier than usual. It was a small benefit that we weren't roommates anymore.

I had plenty of dreams about her when we were sleeping in the same room, and it was immensely tough waking up to the face of the person my subconscious had been incredibly enticed by. My conscious self was of course incredibly enticed by Zeta as well, and I had spent plenty of time gazing at her like she was a beautiful field of stars (in my opinion, an even better sight) even before we dated.

Throughout class, I barely listened to the lectures, either lost staring at Zeta or contemplating the dream. Would Zeta ever do something like that? It was the middle of winter, so we probably couldn't find a place like that where we could be out in nature.

Out in nature and...

I blushed and hid behind my notebook, hoping nobody noticed me excitedly fidgeting thinking about it.

Zeta and I had our dalliances with more physicality and skinship, but it had been a long while since we'd really escalated anything between us.

I didn't even get a chance to talk to Zeta about the dream after we finished classes for the day, as we had plans that we had to get to right away.

I tried not to be too much of a grump, so I was fairly quiet as we joined Lillia, Ko, Iris, and Maia for a triple date sort of thing at a restaurant. Lillia had been wanting to go on a double date with Zeta and I forever. Zeta and I had also been giving Iris and Maia advice about their relationship, but I wasn't sure they took much of it to heart.

"It's kinda funny," Iris said. "We got a set of best friends here, a set of new friends, and two girlfriends. It's like a triple...something or other."

"Hilarious," I said.

I knew they had to take it at their own pace, but it was kind of frustrating giving someone advice that would really help them and for it to feel like they totally ignored it.

It wasn't just Iris and Maia being a pain, I was also feeling some kind of way about Lillia and Ko. I couldn't help but squint as I mushed up a napkin in my hands. The two were quietly talking to themselves as Ko fed Lillia fries.

I know Lillia said they aren't even official yet, and that they're taking it really slowly, but...I can't see them taking it slowly forever. What if they go farther than us before we do?

I knew it wasn't a race, and me being jealous was stupid. Lillia was one of my closest friends, I should be happy for her. I knew I was crabbier because I really wanted to just be alone with Zeta to talk about my dream. But I was also starting to wonder if my dream came from a desire to try new things with Zeta, a desire that was getting unfortunately blocked by everything else in our lives.

“That was fun,” Zeta said when we got back.

“Was it?” I asked. “It felt like us being dating coaches more than anything. For people who aren’t even technically dating!”

“But like, pretty much dating,” Zeta said.

"Sorry, I'm just crabby today," I said.

"I thought you were a bit down," Zeta said. "Sorry if that was because of me. Was it because of me?"

"No, definitely not!" I said. "You've been on my mind all day."

We had a brief moment alone in Zeta's room. I couldn't hold it in any longer. "Alright, so last night..."