Chapter 183: Your choice

Noah’s POV

My eyes are watering as I stare at the closed door of the hospital room.

Siren just walked out of the room to attend to the guard who announced the attack, the doctor left attend to someone else a minute ago, and I’m all alone with the voices of my father’s wife in my head.

’Your single job is to make sure this family isn’t embarrassed, Noah. Why do you keep doing more embarrassing things? Do you hate me?’

My heart doesn’t know how to beat properly. It’s going fast, then slow, and then fast again. So many impossible things are happening to me.

My hand slides down my front till I’m cupping my belly. I’ve never had a completely flat tummy but touching it with the thought of a pup growing inside makes me feel different. I’m pregnant.

I snatch my hand off my stomach and shake my head. I literally thought I was pregnant last time, and it turned out to be a fluke. I’m doing it again, aren’t I?

"No...it’s not real" I whisper to myself and lay back in the bed. I shut my eyes and keep them squeezed shut. If I try enough, I’ll wake up in Elias’s bed.

The pain I endured after Freya’s pregnancy trick is too painful. I can’t survive another one. I sniffle and pinch my arm.

"Wake up. Wake up, Noah. Wake up." I whisper repeatedly.

I hear the door open and I stubbornly keep my eyes shut. The goal is to wake up. I can’t let this dream take over my brain.

"Noah? What are doing?" Siren’s voice asks cautiously and I slowly open my eyes to look at him. "I’m trying to wake up" I say and pinch myself extra hard.

Ow...I think I’m due for a proper nail cut.

"You’re not asleep, Noah" the older omega man says, and I sit up to give him a response. My throat feels tight, my chest is even tighter, I’m trying to force my emotion down and it’s going badly.

"But...but what if...but what if this is fake and I’m hallucinating because I want a baby so bad?"

Siren’s eyes soften and the action is loud enough to tell me what I’m refusing to accept. I’m not hallucinating and I am definitely pregnant. Pregnant for the man called Elias ’Death’ Deus.

"I promise you, this is real. You’re pregnant, Noah" Siren says and I moan as I wrap my arms around my middle. This is a happy thing, but I can’t be happy, I shouldn’t be happy.

I know I wished it and thought of it a lot but...this shouldn’t really happen to me.

"What is the matter, Noah?" Siren asks quietly, taking the bedside seat and looking at me with those painfully soft eyes.

"Reality is the matter" I say in a choked voice.

"How so?"

"I’m pregnant by an enemy...what will people say? What would my city think of me?"

"Is that it? You’re worried about the opinion of people who wouldn’t think twice about selling you off?"

"Isn’t it sane to worry?" I ask. I’ve cried enough for today, but my eyes keep welling up.

"No. it’s not sane to worry about them. Noah, you’re an adult and you can make your own choices. You’ve done enough living for others" he says and I cover my face with both hands in despair.

It’s unfortunate, but living for others is all I know how to do. All my life I’ve been told; ’you’re the governor’s son’, ’you’re the icon of Winslow’, ’you are the angel of the city’.

"If you want to keep the pup, you keep it. If you don’t want to, you get rid of it" Siren says so bluntly that I wrap my arms around myself again. It’s a subconscious way of protecting a child I’ve only known for thirty minutes.

"I want this" I say in a broken voice and Siren’s eyes flash blue.

"Then you keep it" he says.

"It’s not that simple. I’m an omega in a world like this..."

"Being an omega is hard, but you will straighten your back, and you will take your life in your own hands" he says coldly and I lick my dry lips. I’m so scared. He doesn’t understand me.

"It’s easy for you to say things like that...you’re a Luna after all" I mutter and Siren tilts his head to the side. "I am a trafficked omega, Noah. I was taken from my mother’s arms and thrown into a dark van" he says and my shoulders drop.

Oh.

"I know what it’s like to be stuck, Noah. It wasn’t easy back then and let me tell you something..." he says as he leans forward and I mirror his to listen to what he has to say.

"Damien is not my first pup" he says and my eyes widen.

"W-what?"

"I was pregnant with a baby, and I never got to know the gender..." my heart sinks before he says more words. I can already picture it. A lonely Siren in a strange place.

The world has always been cruel to omegas.

"Darius and I weren’t meant to love each other, but we did. I was a servant and he was the second in command. When I learned about our baby, I didn’t want to risk his post...I assumed, I cried, I detached myself from him, and I got rid of it" he says and I cup my mouth.

Oh goddess...

"I...I’m so sorry" I whisper my apology and Siren blinks the tears away.

"I regret it till today. It was the worst decision I ever made in my life. So don’t put yourself in that shoe, what you do to your body should be what you want to do. If you want the pup, then keep it. If you don’t...like I said, get rid of it" he says and moves away.

I fall back into the bed and fix my eyes on the light above me.

My choice...it’s my choice.

Those words fill my head for a few more minutes before I fall asleep unintentionally.

’It’s your choice, dear child’ a woman’s voice says and I look up. The glowing woman from my dream the other day is looking at me like she’s my mother. My head is on her lap and she’s stroking my hair.

’I don’t know...I know what I want but I’m scared to do it’ I murmur and she keeps on stroking my hair backwards.

’Do what you want, pup. Haven’t they stolen too much from you already?’ she asks tenderly.

’Who are you?’ I lift my head, and she smiles gently. ’I’m someone you know...someone you trust’ she says and I blink.

’The goddess?’ I ask and her face disappears as it starts to glow strongly. It’s bright but soft, it’s exactly like looking at the moon.

It’s the moon goddess! I’m dreaming of the moon goddess.

With a gasp, I open my eyes and find Siren still sitting on the chair with his eyes shut. He looks so much like the moon goddess. Is he magical in a way? Is that way his name is Siren?

I swallow as I find a digital clock. The time is eleven eleven P.M.

"Siren?" I call my mother-in-law’s name in a whisper, and he opens his eyes immediately.

"Yes, Noah?"

"I want my pup and I want my life" I whisper my decisions like I’d get killed for saying these words out loud. Maybe I would get killed for it, but I’d worry about that later.

"I’m happy for you, pup" Siren says softly and my omega purrs in response. I can’t wait to tell Elias about our baby.