Chapter 6: If that’s what you want

Su Qingxue awoke pressed against his back once more but this time she made no fuss . She lay there for a moment taking in the grey light filtering through the paper window , listening to the steady rise and fall of his chest .

Heat had soaked through their robes. Her cheeks were flushed. She carefully move away until there was a space between them once more .

Lin Tian’s breathing hitched . He was awake but either of them said anything .

She pushed herself up from the floor and fetched the kettle .The bitter medicine she had been forcing him to take for the past few days , the two-sided sensation in the air more potent than ever and warmth followed by cool as she passed by him .

She set the bowl down in front of him and he took it. Colour returning to his cheeks .

She set the bowl down in front of him but kept her hands away from him as he drank.

"You’re standing further away again."Tian’s sleepy voice came .

"This room is small Tian-ge, Where do you want me to stand? On your head ?"

"Yesterday you said the same thing." He chuckled,

"Because it’s still small yesterday and today, " she looked at the rain trickling down the paper window rather than his face.

"Qingxue."

"Don’t say that again Tian-ge ! "

"I wasn’t even going to say anything."

"You were going to , I can tell by your voice." She set the empty bowl aside .

"Someone was outside last night. I heard footsteps by the door , they lingered a while before vanishing with the rain."

Her hands stilled , "so ...do you know who it was?"

"I don’t know. Auntie Zhao..?, One of the boys from the road ?, someone the clan sent to investigate . It could have been anyone."

"They were listening to us sleep." She went to the outer room and busied herself with wiping a table that didn’t need it . Her hands tight with something else as she returned . She set her hands on her hips as she faced him again ,

"They’re going to make this harder, aren’t they? Talking is one thing , but I don’t think standing outside in the rain listening is going to help."

Lin Tian said nothing . By midday the rain had reduced to a drizzle . A sharp knock echoed through the house. Su Qingxue opened the door to find Lin Tian’s uncle standing there, damp from the rain, already prepared to berate them.

"Still here, still living off other people’s hospitality, I see."

Lin Tian made no move to get up from his perch on the stool. "What is it, Uncle?"

"Heh...the Elders spoke this morning. We’ve had enough of your nonsense . You two need to sort this out, once and for all."

"If she’s yours, claim her and If she’s not, then she needs to leave, dragging your name with her ."

Su Qingxue’s knuckles whited against the doorframe . "They didn’t ask me about your hospitality."

"They don’t need to ," his uncle snapped.,

"You’ve until market day to make a decision . After that the clan will no longer recognise him , cut him off entirely and you, girl, might want to think about whether he’s worth throwing your future away over."

"He can stand now , he’ll get better soon ! ," She said quietly.

The man gave a mirthless laugh , He turned and left without waiting for a response . The threshold was still damp where he had stood.

Su Qingxue shut the door behind him .

"You don’t have to listen to them," said Lin Tian.

"I know. But..., It’s not just words anymore. They’re threatening to cut you off entirely ."

"We can leave for the sect earlier."

She faced the door once more . "They’re pushing because they think they can. Because it looks like we’re already..." She didn’t finish the sentence.

Lin Tian stood. The two-sided core in his chest thickened as he stand behind her, close enough.

"Qingxue."

"Don’t do this right now again !!" She wanted to stop him from speaking.

"I’m not going to let some uncle dictate what I say to you, I’m not going to keep pretending I don’t want you closer , you feel it every time you stand near me . I know you do , you move towards me in your sleep every night . You can keep calling it nothing, I’m done calling it nothing " 𝘧𝓇ℯℴ𝓂

She turned too fast nearly colliding into his chest ,

"You can’t just say things like that right after he threatened us "

"I can, because he doesn’t get a say in this! Only we do ."

"If I stay, people will keep talking and It will get worse." , "but, If I leave, you’ll be alone managing all of this."

"I’ll manage somehow " ’I don’t wanna say somthing like this but , this is moment, I should be like this ’

She looked up at him, rain tapping at the thatched roof , "That’s exactly the problem, Lin Tian! . I don’t want you to manage alone."

Lin Tian raised a hand, hovered a breath away from her cheek and waited , When she didn’t object, he tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. Her eyes fluttered shut . "Then stop standing so far away, come here."

She didn’t move closer but she didn’t move away either. The space between them remained .

After a moment, she looked down at his robes. "I’m still sleeping on my side tonight . And you’re going to push me back if I roll over, like you promised! "

"If that’s what you want, yes."

She knew what he meant by that half answer and this time she didn’t call him on it . They spent the rest of the day in the quiet manner of people who had made their peace .

She prepared thin broth from the last of the dried meat and lingered by the stove long after he had gone out on the wet path. He returned with damp hair and clearer eyes sitting under the thin tree in the afternoon when rain paused .

"If we leave, what happens to the house ?" she asked, hugging her knees up,

"Of course the clan , that’s what they want in any case."

"And the things we can’t take with us? What will happen..."

"Uh....Just Leave them , we won’t need them."

She was quiet for a long moment , "I used to hate this house when you were sick. The smell, the way people kept looking in. Now I hate that they’re going to get it."

"We can hate it on the road instead , It’ll be more scenic. ,No? "

That earned him a small smile . "You sound like yourself when you talk like that."

"How so?"

"Like you’ve already worked out the next ten steps and you’re being polite until I catch up that’s how ."

He didn’t deny it. In the late afternoon, the boy from yesterday passed by with two others, pausing to murmur something and laugh.

Su Qingxue had been hanging a damp cloth outside when she saw them . She watched their figures vanish before returning to her task .

They ate when the light began to fail . After the bowls were set down , Su Qingxue stood in the middle of the outer room, staring at the chair, then the bed.

This time, she didn’t argue about the chair . She walked into the inner room first, lying on the far edge, her back to the empty half. Lin Tian followed her the lamp extinguished, the rain pressing gently on the roof.

For a long time, she lay stiff, measuring every breath. She fell asleep eventually. In the dark, her body curled the way it had the past two nights, her back to him. She shifted until her spine was pressed against his ribs, making a small sound in her throat.

Lin Tian’s eyes were open . The two-sided core in his chest pulsed Yin surged towards him , but he kept his hands still , measured his breaths , did not pull her closer or push her away ,

Outside footsteps sounded on the wet path . Coming closer and pausing near the house.

His eyes narrowed because of darkness.Su Qingxue lay asleep against his chest .

The footsteps did not stop , someone was standing outside their door, in the rain .