Chapter 5: don’t even say that

Lin Tian’s eyes opened fully . A clear dual-colored light, gold and violet , flickered once across the back of his hand. He closed his fist and hid it .

Su Qingxue made a small sound in her sleep and pressed a little closer , her breasts soft against his arm . Her Yin energy poured into him in an unconscious stream, and for the first time the dual core drank deeply.

Heat ran down through his meridians . His cock stiffened hard against his trousers, the head leaking again, and he had to lock his body still so he would not wake her.

Staring at the celling he thought,

If this continued , if she kept staying this close night after night , the first dual cultivation would not wait for some perfect moment for us . It should happen soon , but I shouldn’t force myself on her.. I should restrain , but my little boy...

Lin felt the dual core keep turning , hungry and patient , while the girl beside him slept on without knowing what her body had already started to give him.

Next morning Su Qingxue woke first , and , something warm was under her cheek . Something rose and fell against her .

Hand was resting on cloth that covered a chest and not her usual chair! The smell was different too ,not her ufaintly lotus like smell .

Her eyes opened ! Lin Tian’s shoulder , his neck , the thin edge of his robe . She was pressed against him from chest to knee , one leg half over his like she had climbed there in the night and stayed because it was warmer .

Heat rushed up her face and she jerked back. The bed was narrow and nowhere to go , her elbow hit the wall ,

"Ouch.. ! "

Lin Tian woke up, he didn’t look surprised . He looked like someone who had been awake for a while and had decided not to move.

His hair was messy on one side. With a sleepy voice he said ,"Good Morning,"

Su Qingxue sat up too fast . The blanket fell and she grabbed it and pulled it to her chest, even though she was fully dressed .

" I, I Don’t.."Her heart was beating in her ears .,

"I didn’t ..." "I must have turned over , I didn’t mean to . I , I sleep badly when it’s cold ! "She stopped then started again without looking at him.

"I know that " A playful smile dancing on his lips.

"You should have pushed me back!"

"Why should I ? You were sleeping, Grandma used to say that you should not wake up sleeping people ."

"That’s not ... " She pressed her lips together . Her ears were burning red , she could feel it clearly.

She could still feel the place where her cheek had been against him , warm and the soft weight of her own breast where it had rested on his arm. The memory sat in her body like it refused to leave .

She really wanted to wipe it away because made her heart flutter.

She swung her legs off the bed and stood. The floor was cold against her bare feet, she shivered,

"I’ll make medicine ," she said, and left the room before he could answer ,

She almost tripped on the blanket....

ha ha ...I like teasing her , the previous owner, that average bastard, showing his cold side to this cute little thing

In the outer room she stood at the stove with her hands flat on the wood and tried to breathe normally . It didn’t work right away though.

Nothing had happened . They had only slept , he had stayed on his side like he promised. She was the one who had moved. She was the one who had practically crawled on top of him and that somehow made it worse .

She filled the pot and set it to heat , her hands a little clumsy . The feeling from the last few days was still there, that warm-and-cold shift in the air whenever she got close to him .This morning it felt thicker like the night had left something behind in the room, in the blanket.

When she brought the bowl in, Lin Tian was sitting up against the wall, rubbing his neck maybe mosquito.... He looked better than yesterday though. His eyes clear and not clouded with fatigue .

She handed him the medicine without letting their fingers touch and stepped back, a full step , as if that one inch would help.

He drank it slowly, " perhaps you are angry."

"I’m not angry, why would I?"

"So why are you..., you’re standing as far from the bed as the room allows."

"That’s not it , it’s just that the room is small "

She looked at the window instead of him.

"People already talk and If someone had walked in this morning.... If Auntie Zhao had...."

"But no one walked in." His voice was calm.

"That’s not the point Tian-ge , it’s not about this ." She tried to argue.

"Then tell me what’s the point, " She did not have clear answer.

The point is the way my body had settled against your like it belonged there .

The point is that for a few seconds after waking I had not wanted to move at all, I wanted to stay.

The point was that Icould still feel the ghost of it now,. she thought .

"I’m going to the market , We’re low on rice and some other food ,"

"But we have enough for two more days..we can make prodigge."

"I’m going anyway because I want to go, you should rest a little more and take care of your body, I’ll be back soon"

She left before he could say anything else, grabbing the cloth bag off the hook.

The market was already busy . Su Qingxue bought a small measure of rice she did not strictly need and a bit of dried fish, just to have something in her hands.

She was still flushed and she kept pulling at her sleeves . Auntie Zhao found her near the salt stall, as if she had been waiting.

"Still at that boy’s house?" The older woman asked, not bothering to lower her voice at all a few people looked over .

"Yes he’s still recovering so I’m staying.."

"He’s been recovering for a long time right ? And you look flushed , late night didn’t sleep well in that chair?"

Su Qingxue’s hands tightened on the cloth bag until her knuckles went white, "mind your own business Auntie ."

"I’m only saying what other people are already saying. A girl your age alone with a man every night heh , even if nothing happened it looks like something happened . Your parents would turn in their graves, this girl.. Hah "

"Well my parents are dead ..., they don’t get an opinion." The words came out sharper pand her throat tightened right after.

Auntie Zhao made a face, and moved on already looking for the next person to tell . Su Qingxue paid for the fish with stiff fingers and walked home faster than usual, not looking left or right .

When she got back, Lin Tian was on his feet near the door. He had washed his face .The robe sat better on him than it had two days ago , less loose around the shoulders . He looked at the bag in her hands and then at her face, and his expression changed a little.

"Someone said something." Then she told him about aunty zhao.

"What did she say?"

"Same , what everyone says." Su Qingxue put the bag on the table harder than she needed to. The rice made a thump sound,

"That I stay here too much . That it looks like we’re already...-" She couldn’t say it.

"We are already what?"

"You know what." She wouldn’t look at him .

Lin Tian was quiet for a moment, then he came closer. Close enough that she had to tip her head to keep his eyes and she could smell the faint bitter medicine on him .

"Do you want me to leave the village?" He asked calmly,

"What ! ?"

"If I go now the talk stops landing on you . I can wait for the sect selection somewhere else. I can find a temple to stay in or an abandoned hut , I’ll be fine ."

The offer sat between them, Su Qingxue felt something sharp move under her ribs, like annoyance and panic mixed.

That’s"You’re Still weak , you think you’re strong because you can walk to the well?"

"And where would you go? Sleep under a tree? Beg at the next village? Get sick again?"

Her voice had climbed without her realising, she was breathing harder.

"You’re not leaving . That’s not ! I didn’t mean it like that , don’t even say that."

"Then what do you mean?"

She turned away and started unpacking the rice so she would have something to do with her hands. The grains rattled into the jar too loudly, some spilling on the table.

"I meant people should mind their own lives," she said , her back to him.

"And you should stop offering to disappear every time someone looks at me wrong . I’m not a child you need to protect like that."

"I’m trying not to make it harder for you."

"Then stay and get stronger and stop talking like you’re a burden I can put down when it’s convenient."

The words came out rougher . Her eyes stung a little Lin Tian did not answer right away . When she finally looked at him, something in his expression had shifted.

Attentive in a way that made her stomach pull tight and her mouth go dry .

"All right I’ll stay...uh and ik sorry, I should have react like that.."

She nodded once and went to the stove, wiping her hands on her robe.

They spent the middle of the day in the same small space without saying much. She cooked and watched him walked the path to the gate and came back, slower this time to show he wasn’t pushing himself .

She checked his color out of habit pretending not to and he let her. Every time she got near him the air did that warm thing again and she found herself standing a step farther away than she needed to . It didn’t help because, the feeling found her anyway.

In the afternoon a boy from the village ran past the house and slowed just long enough to look at the open door. He saw her the He saw Lin Tian sitting inside.

He grinned in a way that made her want to throw the water pot at his head , that knowing , dumb grin, and then he was gone already calling to someone down the path, "They’re both inside!.."

Su Qingxue shut the door harder., The wood rattled.

"They’re going to keep doing that, Does it change anything for you?" ’I can expect what you’re going to say ’

She leaned her back against the door and closed her eyes for a second. She was tired and her feet hurt from the market.

"I don’t know yet .."

It was the most honest thing she had said all day. Though It scared her a little to say it out loud.

Evening came early and she made the legendary porridge again, because there was not much else and, she didn’t feel like being creative..

They ate , the silence between them was not empty, but it was like both of them were walking on thin ice.

After the bowls were cleaned she stood in the middle of the outer room and looked at the chair, then at the bed through the open inner door. She bit her lip "I’ll take the chair,"

"You’re the one recovering so you should definitely sleep on a comfortable place "

"I’m good enough to sleep sitting up for one night. I’ve done worse you know that "

"That’s not how this works."

Fair enough haah "Then tell me how it works."

She folded her arms then unfolded them. The flush was back in her ears .

"If I sleep on the bed again you’ll stay on your side."

"And if I turn over you’ll push me back. You have to okay ? Promise me."

He looked at her for a long second, "If that’s what you want, sure.."

It was not a clean yes. She heard the difference , She also heard that he was giving her the choice instead of taking it from her . That was something.

"Yes, that’s what I want," she muttered.

He nodded and went into the inner room first. She followed after a minute, blew out the lamp and lay down on the far edge with her back to him.

’The gap between us felt wider than last night and also not wide enough. She could hear me breathing..,’

For a long time she kept herself rigid, counting breaths and staring at the dark wall. Sleep came anyway, dragging her under. Sometime in the dark her body eased unknowingly .

She did not climb onto him this time. She only shifted until her back found the line of his chest again, warm through the thin robes, fitting there like it had been waiting . A small and soft sound left her throat.

"Ummm.... "She did not wake , one hand curled near her own stomach.

Again , his cock thickened against his trousers until it ached hard and heavy . He kept his hands still on his own side and his breathing even , and stared at the dark shape of her hair on the pillow , at the curve of her shoulder.

He could wake her. He could put the distance back. He could also stay exactly where he was and let the thread between them thicken one more night....

Su Qingxue pressed closer in her sleep, her breath warm on his arm and, Lin Tian understood that the careful line they were both trying to hold, would not last , something was going to break..