My Pick Up Artist System

As Ben covered his eyes, the purple light from opening the epic booty chest soon receded, like Rick James left the party…

Looking down, Ben found that in his hands, there was now a new item—a glass vial full of red liquid. 

At first, he thought it was another potion. Yet, unlike the previous ones he'd received for the rare chests, this item was different: smaller, and glowing!

It released a subtle ambient light, showing that whatever was inside, was no normal substance. Eager to know what it was, he read the system description.

[Refined Elite Human Bloodline Essence(Consumable, Epic) x1 - Increases the genetic potential of the human who drinks it]

Ben narrowed his eyes. "Genetic potential?" After pondering it a few seconds, he nodded in understanding. "It could be shvontz size."

...

His parents and school told him to never give up on his dreams…

Then, he remembered another possibility. "Wait…is this a Super Soldier Serum?"

Ben found it interesting because that was an item that would give him significant strength: somewhere between the world's top powerlifter...and enough to hold back Thanos with the Infinity Gauntlet and Power Stone...

...

The strongest antagonist in the known universe, Thanos...

The Thanos who beat Thor and Hulk within minutes of each other...

The Thanos wearing the strongest power-enhancing item in the universe...

It might make Ben that strong.

...

Depending on who was writing that day.

...

After contemplating it though, he wasn't sure if taking that Serum would be a good thing. "It might turn me into a pansy-ass like Steve Rogers…"

Ben shook his head. "I don't know what the movie studio was thinking, but I wouldn't want to live in this country if Captain America was a 93 year old virgin."

…

However, Ben thought of a counterpoint. "Winter Soldier also took the Serum. In that case…"

Ben's eyes enlarged as he realized something incredible! Something that meant this little tube of liquid could change his life!

"Does it feel like someone else is doing it when Winter Soldier uses the metal arm to jack it?"

...

"It might be worth it…" He considered if giving up an arm for that was a good idea.

…

Then, Ben gasped, because something else came to him, and he realized the great significance of what could happen if he ingested the bloodline essence. "Will I get the evolution tag?!?"

…

When he asked the system about the epic consumable, she failed to give him an adequate response though, because she didn't understand what he meant by tags…

Yet, regarding the consumable itself, she did say it would improve the potential of his stats. So, after weighing all the aspects, Ben decided that drinking it was the only logical choice, and he believed any rational person would agree. "This is the way to the metal arm…"

He was absorbed with tunnel-vision for that metal fleshlight.

…

It made Ben forget that the Super Soldier Serum was only one aspect of a long storyline in how Winter Soldier got that metal arm. To be fair though, that storyline was forgotten by almost everyone else who saw it too…

"I have to do this, because I'm pretty sure vibranium means it can vibrate."

...

That was the final straw that made Ben steel himself...

With the decision finalized, holding the glass item, he sat on his bed against the wall in a comfortable position. He didn't know what kind of side effects would come from consuming the liquid so it was best to prepare. Gulping with some anxiety, Ben lifted the vial closer to his mouth as its glow reflected on his face.

When he opened the top, he couldn't help but grimace a bit at the powerful smell of iron, but soon composed himself. He knew drinking this was the key…to his pathway for the future...to an automatic jerk arm that functioned on solar power and never stopped.

…

So, after preparing himself a moment, Ben brought the vial to his lips, and drank it!

A powerful metallic taste assaulted his tongue as he winced while trying to down the contents as fast as possible!

When he finished drinking, system notifications popped up.

[Detecting absorbed bloodline: Elite Human]

[User has unlocked bloodline system]

...

'...Is that it?' Reading the screens, Ben's face was terrible as the awful taste lingered in his mouth. A second later though, his expression became even worse! 

His eyes bulged, because he realized he'd made a huge mistake! 

It was the most common grave error made by university freshmen: "I forgot the chaser!"

…

He didn't bring something to wash the taste down! Hurrying to his mini-fridge, Ben grabbed an orange juice and glugged it down…flooding out the horrible aftertaste.

"Ahh…" A few moments later, with it gone from his mouth, he could relax at last. "Thankfully, I had something to drink this time. OJ…to save the day…with good old vitamin FU—!"

Right then, he dropped the orange juice as a profound pain overwhelmed him! Dropping to his knees, Ben huddled up into a ball on the floor! His body shook! He lost all control! 

It was different from the pain when he took the potions, but only in a worse way! He felt the pain deep inside his bones! Everywhere! As if he was being attacked at a cellular level!

…

Five minutes later, Ben got up from the floor, releasing rough breaths. His clothes were soaked in sweat, and he was frowning. "My juice…"

He'd spilled the chaser, committing the second gravest error made by university freshmen…

"The results better have been worth it." It was a branded orange juice, not that generic concentrate garbage. There was pulp and everything…

Ben checked his system messages again.

[Detecting absorbed bloodline: Elite Human]

[User has unlocked bloodline system]

[Genetic modifications commencing]

'Damn, she got me again...' He shook his head. 'Was another troll delay before this last message really necessary?'

He wanted to wait longer, but the taste was atrocious, and he suspected she might troll delay for years if she wanted...

Helpless, Ben read the next notification.

[Detecting alternative absorbed bloodline: Orange]

…

"No…" He did not like where this was going!

[Bloodline conflict detected]

[Conflicting bloodline combination: (Elite Human, Orange)]

[Reason: Bloodline inferiority. Drastic difference between qualities of bloodlines]

Ben blinked. "Which one is inferior?"

…

"Isn't it a matter of opinion?" He thought it was a reasonable question...

[Conflict resolution in process]

[Lower quality bloodline eliminated] 

[Conflict resolved]

[Genetic modifications resuming]

[Bloodline absorption in process]

[Bloodline absorption completed]

When Ben saw there weren't any more messages, he stopped breathing for a moment...because he realized there was an issue. "Wait…which bloodline did I absorb?!?

… 

His face changed colors…

"It can't be…" The system didn't make it clear! And that terrified him! He didn't want to be an orange man!

"Am I a Trump now?!?" 

------

*Author's Note: Happy new year! Should Ben become the scion of the Trump family? What do you think? Maybe Trump's son from an older relationship, so that as a step-son, he could get to know Ivanka and Melania? I'm sure they'd have a lot to talk about. Should Ben make the White House even whiter?

Tell me in the comments if you'd like to know more about the Trump females' favorite political stances.