[Volume 2] Chapter 4: The Tardigrade and the Daoist

Finn explained helplessly, “He’s not an ape. He’s a newcomer.”

“Oh.” Moonbell remained expressionless. “Can’t say I see much difference.”

With that, she drifted away like a dandelion seed, leaving an indignant Jimmy glaring after her.

Finn and Jimmy continued through the hall when a solemn, ethereal voice suddenly rang out.

“Finn. It has been many years. Your cultivation has improved considerably. Are you still practicing that defense-focused technique? Have you found its creator, Venerable Flame Spirit?”

“Not yet.” Finn shrugged. “I’ve searched fifty-three worlds, but I still haven’t found any trace of Venerable Flame Spirit.”

“Who’s talking?” Jimmy asked, looking around in alarm.

“Why is there a mortal here?” the voice asked.

In an instant, an icy aura locked onto Jimmy.

The moment it did, his head spun and his heart began hammering wildly.

Overwhelming terror flooded his mind. His entire body spasmed and shook as though an invisible giant hand had closed around his throat, choking the life out of him.

Finn immediately raised a Profound Energy shield around Jimmy, cutting him off from the terrifying aura that could have killed him outright.

“Immortal Venerable Shahowe, take it easy. He’s a newcomer. He’s only at the lower end of Perseverance Realm(Tier 1). He can’t handle that kind of pressure,” Finn explained.

“Far too weak. But since Sister Avasarala was the one who discovered him, he must possess something extraordinary. We simply lack the eyes to see it.”

The unseen speaker withdrew his aura, and his solemn voice faded away.

The speaker had never intended to kill Jimmy. He had merely been examining him more closely.

Unfortunately, the difference in their strength was so enormous that even casually locking his aura onto Jimmy was enough to nearly kill him.

“Bro, who the hell was that Immortal Venerable? And why couldn’t I see him?” Jimmy asked fearfully, rubbing his throat.

“Of course you couldn’t see him. His soul is attached to a tardigrade,” Finn said calmly.

“A tardigrade?!” Jimmy stared at him blankly.

This was the first time he had ever heard the words tardigrade and Immortal Venerable used in the same sentence.

Jimmy knew what tardigrades were. On Blue Planet, they were known as some of the toughest life-forms around and could even survive exposure to outer space without protection.

Tardigrades were tiny, highly specialized creatures. The smallest were only around fifty micrometers long, while the largest reached about 1.4 millimeters. You still needed a microscope to get a clear look at them.

A thin film of water covered their bodies, keeping them from drying out while allowing them to absorb oxygen.

The ridiculous little creatures were absurdly hard to kill. They could endure freezing, boiling, and desiccation, and could even survive in a vacuum or under intense radiation.

Finn told Jimmy the story of the tardigrade Immortal Venerable.

Shahowe-Shinwen was currently at the upper level of Emperor Realm(Tier 5).

He had once been human as well—and, more specifically, a transmigrator from Earth.

He had been exceptionally talented. As a cultivator, he refined the spiritual energy of heaven and earth for his own use, successfully survived his heavenly tribulation, and eventually reached the Great Ascension realm.

Unfortunately, because of an ancient divine artifact, he ended up fighting another Great Ascension cultivator to the death.

The two unleashed everything they had against each other and ultimately died together.

As for the ancient artifact?

Some Foundation Establishment brat straight out of a protagonist template stumbled across it and picked it up.

At the moment Shahowe-Shinwen’s body and soul were destroyed, he used the last of his strength to preserve one faint remnant of his soul.

That remnant was on the verge of dissipating.

Fortunately, as a former transmigrator from Earth, he somehow hadn’t managed to forget everything his biology teacher had taught him.

Without hesitation, he attached the remnant of his soul to the nearest tardigrade.

He then fell into a slumber that lasted several centuries, while the tardigrade entered cryptobiosis and shut down its metabolism entirely.

Cultivators with less-than-honorable intentions frequently came to comb through the battlefield afterward, hoping to scavenge valuable treasures or harvest the souls of fallen experts for use in alchemy.

Unfortunately for them, these cultivators possessed absolutely no scientific education. They couldn’t even tell a wild boar from a warthog, much less identify a tardigrade.

And so Shahowe-Shinwen managed to preserve that tiny spark of life.

Later, Sister Avasarala happened to pass through the area, discovered him, and took him away. With her help, he resumed cultivating.

His strength gradually recovered, and he had now reached the upper level of Emperor Realm(Tier 5).

He could have refined himself a new physical body and returned to human form long ago, but by then he had gotten used to being a tardigrade, so he simply stayed that way.

Shahowe-Shinwen was deeply grateful to Avasarala for giving him a second chance at life and had become one of her staunchest supporters.

By the time Jimmy finished hearing the story, his mouth was hanging open.

It stayed that way for quite a while.

After Finn finished giving Jimmy the crash course on Immortal Venerable Shahowe’s past, the two continued onward.

On a broad leather sofa ahead of them lounged a Daoist priest wearing a Purple Sun Daoist headpiece and an Eight Trigrams robe.

A spotless white horsetail whisk was tucked behind his waist.

Two beautiful women sat on his thighs. One was seductive and uncanny, while the other was serene and elegant as water.

The Daoist had an arm around each of them. The little mustache above his lip twitched happily as he enjoyed himself.

Jimmy took a closer look and froze.

Of the two beauties sitting on the Daoist’s lap, one was a fox demon.

The other was a female ghost.

A long tail swayed behind the fox demon. The hint of a smile played on her lips, revealing sharp canine teeth.

The ghost’s black hair hung loose all the way to the floor. She wore a plain white robe, and her face was pale as snow. Her lifeless eyes wept two trails of blood, while the tip of a crimson tongue protruded between her lips.

She looked terrifying.

The Daoist, however, wasn’t afraid in the slightest.

Smiling cheerfully, he stroked the fox demon’s tail with his left hand while using his right to push the ghost’s tongue back into her mouth.

“Easy there, sweetheart. That eager for a French kiss? Don’t worry. Your Daoist master will take care of you in a minute.”

He nodded to Finn.

“Brother Finn, where have you been fooling around lately? Haven’t picked up a few pretty girls?”

“Where else would I go? Missions and cultivation, same as always,” Finn replied.

The Daoist pulled the fox demon and ghost closer, then glanced at Jimmy.

“You got yourself a servant? This kid doesn’t have a shred of spiritual power. What use is he besides waiting on you hand and foot? Can’t even warm your bed.”

His eyes darted around before he feigned sudden realization.

“Wait... don’t tell me he does warm your bed?! Well, well! Brother Finn, I never knew you swung—”

Finn covered his face and sighed. “He’s a newcomer. A newcomer. He has absolutely nothing to do with me. I’ve only taken him on one mission.”

The lecherous Daoist was named Jyan-Tyenhaw.

Originally, he had been nothing more than an ordinary Daoist priest.

Then he became obsessed with period dramas produced in China on Earth.  

There, he saw Ning Caichen fuck a ghost, Xu Xian fuck a snake, King Zhou fuck a fox, and Luo Shiyi fuck a caterpillar demon.

Something strange awakened inside him.

From that day forward, he embarked upon the glorious Daoist path of slaying—and fucking—demons, subduing—and fucking—fiends, exorcising—and fucking—ghosts, and warding off—and fucking—evil.

Having finally discovered the cultivation path that truly suited him, his strength advanced by leaps and bounds until his divine arts reached mastery.

At his peak, Jyan-Tyenhaw had once reached Auspicious Realm(Tier 6).

Then, because apparently he had a death wish, he went and provoked Lady Severance.

Jyan-Tyenhaw saw Lady Severance sitting alone on a lotus platform and mistook her for a female ghost.

So he flirted with her and tried to get handsy.

Lady Severance merely turned her head and gave him a calm glance.

Jyan-Tyenhaw’s physical body was instantly reduced to dust.

His three ethereal souls and seven corporeal souls were severed as well, leaving behind only his final Youjing soul.

If Lady Severance hadn’t spared him because they were both members of the Spacetime Destruction Bureau, even that last fragment of his soul would have been annihilated.

Jyan-Tyenhaw’s cultivation plummeted.

Afterward, he trained bitterly for a long time before barely managing to rebuild his body and restore his soul.

He was now at the lower level of Venerable Realm(Tier 3).