[Volume 2] Chapter 3: The Spacetime Destruction Bureau’s Motley Crew

World Delta-NINE-D-852426, in a cold and desolate corner of the universe.

Ever since the Star Cosmos Empire blew up their former main headquarters, the Spacetime Destruction Bureau had been using this world as the temporary site of its main base.

Finn had always been something of an outsider. He knew little about the Bureau’s grudges and internal history.

According to Sis Avasarala, the Star Cosmos Empire and the Spacetime Administration Bureau had managed to breach their main headquarters because the “Boss” had joined forces with a group of Celestial Sojourners and “pulled off something big.”

In other words, the Boss had been the main source of the trouble. It had little to do with the Spacetime Destruction Bureau itself, which was why the Star Cosmos Empire hadn’t put the other members on its wanted list.

Even so, the Spacetime Administration Bureau and the Star Cosmos Empire had blown up their headquarters. Naturally, the Spacetime Destruction Bureau’s Celestial Sojourners were less than pleased.

Today was the Bureau’s regular gathering. Many members had traveled great distances to attend the meeting, exchange information, and catch up with old friends.

The universe here had a dark red backdrop. It was cold, silent, and utterly lifeless. A tiny planet floated alone in the crimson void.

It was so small that it could barely be called a planet, only slightly larger than an asteroid.

A skyscraper had been built on its surface. Sturdy and severe in design, the building was nevertheless resplendent with gold and breathtakingly ornate.

Most striking of all, it was taller than the planet’s diameter. Its footprint alone covered a quarter of the planet’s surface.

Jimmy stood beside Finn, sealed inside a spacesuit. Without it, he would have died instantly in outer space.

Finn, meanwhile, was dressed exactly as usual, as though breathing in a vacuum at minus ninety-five degrees Celsius were the most normal thing in the world.

He led Jimmy onto an ice-blue floating bridge. At the far end lay the tiny planet and the skyscraper built upon it.

“Bro, what are the senior members of the Spacetime Destruction Bureau like?” Jimmy asked nervously.

He had only met Sis Avasarala, Finn, and Su-Jin. All three were easy enough to get along with, but Jimmy still felt uneasy. He was like a mouse that had accidentally wandered into a pride of lions.

The lions might have no appetite for him, but they could still crush him with a casual swat.

Finn thought about it and realized he couldn’t easily sum up the Bureau’s members.

“How should I put this? There are only two normal people in the entire Spacetime Destruction Bureau. Everyone else is an oddball.”

“Which two?” Jimmy asked immediately.

“One is Sis Avasarala. Guess who the other is.”

Jimmy pondered for a moment, then his eyes lit up.

“Me!”

Finn gave him a scornful look and shook his head.

“The other normal person is me.”

“Why not me?” Jimmy asked indignantly.

“Think about your superpower. It makes you dance ‘Laser Rain’ and the Cossack dance. Does that sound like a normal person’s ability to you?”

Jimmy pouted, apparently wanting to argue that he was normal too, but eventually decided to keep his mouth shut.

“My ability is completely useless. Why did Sis Avasarala let me join?” he muttered gloomily.

“I don’t know either.”

Finn couldn’t figure it out himself. The Endless Worlds were vast beyond measure, so why had Avasarala picked Jimmy out of all the countless people in existence?

As the head of Human Resources, Sis Avasarala had always valued quality over quantity. She had stressed more than once that only recruits with the “three essentials”—ideals, ambition, and ability—were qualified to join the Spacetime Destruction Bureau.

Finn honestly couldn’t see where Jimmy’s ideals, ambition, or ability were supposed to be.

Perhaps Sis Avasarala saw something he didn’t.

They followed the ice-blue floating bridge onto the tiny planet, and the skyscraper’s steel doors slid open before them.

“Take off your spacesuit,” Finn told Jimmy.

Jimmy quickly removed it, then entered the building’s first floor with Finn.

They stopped before a narrow corridor.

“Ninety-ninth floor,” Finn said.

The two stepped into the corridor. By the time they emerged from the other end, they had arrived on the skyscraper’s ninety-ninth floor.

“Finn! Long time no see!”

A deep, booming voice called out in an enthusiastic greeting. At the same time, a hand as broad as a fan reached toward Finn for a high five.

“Bearmont! It’s been a while.”

Finn smiled and returned the huge man’s high five.

Bearmont was currently at the intermediate stage of the Ethereal Realm, Tier 4. His path was one of proving the Dao through martial might.

He stood a full three meters tall. Thick muscles bulged all over his body, his broad chest rose like a solid wall, and his massive frame resembled an iron tower that could hold up the sky.

His gaze soon landed on Jimmy. “Did you buy this punching bag on the Myriad Realms Network?” he asked in surprise. “Mind if I give it a couple of punches?”

As he spoke, he clenched a fist larger than a basketball, looking eager to try it out.

Jimmy shuddered in terror and hurriedly hid behind Finn.

“What’s going on?” Bearmont said unhappily. “Does this smart punching bag have facial recognition? Does it only let its owner hit it?”

Finn gave a helpless laugh. “This isn’t a punching bag. He’s a new recruit. His name is Jimmy, and he just joined the Spacetime Destruction Bureau. I’ve already taken him on one mission.”

With that, Finn stepped aside, putting Jimmy on display for Bearmont.

“A new recruit?” Bearmont looked down at Jimmy from his towering height. The corner of his mouth curled in disdain.

“You really are patient, Finn, taking this scrawny beanpole on missions. If it were me, I’d have snapped his leg, dumped him at some backwater clinic with the worst medical care around, and left him there to live or die on his own.”

Jimmy trembled from head to toe. He was terrified that the muscle-bound brute might suddenly act on the idea and break his leg on a whim.

There was an old saying that an arm could never overpower a thigh—the weak could never defeat the strong. But Jimmy’s thigh wasn’t even half as thick as Bearmont’s arm. In this case, the arm would win easily, and Jimmy’s leg would snap as a matter of course.

Fortunately, Bearmont had little interest in the new recruit. After catching up with Finn for a while, he wandered off to the gaming area and started playing console games.

Inside the opulent hall, a little girl in a sky-blue princess dress flew toward them through the air. Her hair was tied into twin ponytails.

“Whoa! She’s adorable!” Jimmy exclaimed.

The flying girl was small and dainty, with lively black eyes. Her appearance could only be described as super, super, super cute. Beneath her fluffy blue princess dress, her calves were sheathed in spotless white stockings.

Most notably, she wasn’t wearing shoes—only a pair of white thigh-high stockings.

“Hi, Finn,” the girl greeted him in an even, unemotional voice.

“Hi, Moonbell,” Finn replied.

Moonbell was a little girl over nine hundred years old, making her three hundred years older than Finn. Her strength was roughly at the early stage of the Venerable Realm, Tier 3.

She possessed extraordinary intelligence and was a student of the great scientist Zhuge-Tyentse, conducting research under his guidance.

She had already earned several hundred doctorates and published nearly ten thousand papers in major academic journals throughout the Star Cosmos Empire. She was also a certified Grand Magus, a Senior Alchemist, and a Legendary-rank Mechanic, while the academies of science in several nations had elected her as a fellow.

By any measure, she was a top-tier scientific researcher.

When she wasn’t conducting research, Moonbell provided the Spacetime Destruction Bureau’s members with technical and intellectual support.

She took immense pride in her intelligence and frequently mocked everyone else’s IQ. Aloof and arrogant, she was also more than a little sharp-tongued.

Moonbell was so cute that words failed to do her justice.

Her absurd level of cuteness had led the Spacetime Destruction Bureau’s members to jokingly regard her as a foolproof “lolicon detector.”

Their supposedly scientific test was simple: show someone a picture of Moonbell. If their heart immediately started racing, their chest tightened, and their mouth went dry as though they had just been hit with a double dose of adrenaline, then there could be no doubt about it.

“Oh my god, this kid is way too cute!” Jimmy exclaimed. “Seeing her makes me want to have a daughter just like her someday!”

Finn glanced at his expression. “Looks like you’re not a lolicon.”

“Huh? Why would you say that?” Jimmy asked in confusion.

Moonbell was about to fly away when she suddenly noticed Jimmy.

“Finn, who is this intellectually stunted ape? Did you capture it as a test animal? Test animals belong in the habitat space. Don’t let it roam around freely. If it spreads germs and contaminates the laboratory environment, we’ll have a problem.”

Jimmy: “...”