Chapter 186: Half Truths

Elara:

All I wanted was to get away from Kairo, from the countless eyes trained on me, from the suffocating ballroom and the unbearable emotions threatening to spill out of me.

I needed air, distance, and a few minutes in which I could remind myself that I was now Eleanora Argentis, Crown Princess of Starfall, and not some pathetic girl whose heart could still be broken by a man who had already made his choice. Unfortunately, Kairo seemed determined to deny me even that small mercy.

Before I could turn away, another ripple of magic washed over my skin, and he caught my hand, pulling me through the crowded hall. I stiffened instinctively, but the people around us continued dancing and talking without sparing us a second glance.

Illusion. Of course.

Kairo had woven an illusion around us, concealing our movements so we could slip away without attracting attention.

I should have resisted. I should have demanded that he release me and reminded him that he had exhausted every privilege he once possessed with me. Instead, I followed him in silence, because despite the damage he had inflicted on my heart, I knew he would never deliberately hurt me physically. That trust remained, stubborn and inconvenient, even when every other part of me wanted to tear it out by the roots.

He led me through a side door and into a dimly lit hallway, his fingers wrapped around mine as he checked one door after another until he found what he wanted. The room he pulled me into appeared to be a storage space, filled with stacked boxes, covered furniture, and shelves crowded with objects I couldn’t identify in the darkness.

He closed the door behind us, locked it, and cast another spell. The familiar pressure of magic settled over the room, muffling the sounds from the ballroom until the music became little more than a distant vibration. Only the pale light filtering through the closed glass window offered any illumination.

I remained near the door, saying nothing, while Kairo turned to face me. For the first time that evening, there was no audience for him to charm, no nobles to impress, and no smug smile to hide behind.

"I’m sorry for bringing you here like this," he said, dragging a hand through his ash-black hair. "I know you don’t want to be alone with me, and I know I have no right to demand your time, but I needed to talk to you before things got any worse between us."

His voice sounded almost desperate, and when I didn’t answer, his expression tightened. He took a step toward me, reaching out as though he intended to touch my arm, but stopped when I didn’t move to meet him.

"Elara, please. I never meant to hurt you. I just didn’t know how to handle what was happening back then, and I made a terrible decision. I thought if I-"

"I understand," I interrupted quietly.

He stopped, staring at me as though he hadn’t expected me to speak at all. I folded my hands in front of me, more to keep them from trembling than anything else.

"You didn’t want me to cling to you after that night. You didn’t want me to mistake what happened between us for something permanent, and you decided that kissing Aria would make your intentions clear enough."

My throat tightened, but I forced myself to continue. "You wanted a one-night stand, Kairo. Nothing more. And you don’t need to worry about that anymore. I won’t ask you for anything, I won’t expect anything from you, and I certainly won’t try to turn one night into a relationship you never wanted." I gave him a small, brittle smile. "You have made yourself perfectly clear."

He shook his head almost immediately. "No. That’s not what I meant."

The frustration in his voice startled me, and I stared at him, genuinely struggling to understand what he expected from me now. Hadn’t he just explained precisely that? Was I supposed to interpret his humiliation of me as some grand, misguided expression of affection?

I crossed my arms over my chest and lifted my chin. "Then explain it to me, Kairo. Clearly. Because I’m tired of trying to decipher what you mean after you have already decided what I’m allowed to know."

He looked away, his jaw working as though the words were physically difficult to force out. For a moment, I thought he might retreat into the familiar arrogance that had always made him so difficult to read. Instead, his shoulders slumped, and when he finally met my gaze again, the expression in his eyes was so dejected that my anger faltered despite myself.

"I didn’t push you away because I didn’t want a relationship with you," he said slowly. "I pushed you away because I found out something. Something that made me realize I couldn’t pursue my feelings for you the way I wanted to."

He swallowed hard, struggling to continue. "When I learned about it, I panicked. I didn’t know what to do with what I felt for you, knowing what I knew. And instead of handling it like an adult, instead of talking to you, I did everything I could to make you walk away from me."

My head began to pound. "What did you find out?" I asked, the words leaving me before I could stop them. "What could possibly have happened between that night and the next morning that made you decide I was someone you couldn’t pursue?"

I searched his face, trying to find an answer in the tension around his eyes, the way his fingers curled into his palms, the shame he seemed unable to conceal. But Kairo shook his head, and the movement felt like another door slamming shut between us. "I can’t tell you."

For a moment, I thought I had misunderstood him. "You can’t?" I repeated. "Or you won’t?"

His eyes squeezed shut briefly, and when he opened them, they shone with unshed tears. "It’s not my place to reveal it, Elara. I wish I could explain everything to you, but I can’t. I’m sorry."

If he thought those words would make me pity him, he couldn’t have been more wrong. I was beyond frustrated, beyond stunned disbelief, and so exhausted by the endless parade of half-truths and withheld explanations that I felt as though I might simply collapse beneath their weight.

I released my arms, closed my eyes, and drew a slow breath, forcing the storm inside me into submission. When I opened them again, my voice was calmer than I expected. "Did you know about this reason before you started pursuing me?"

"No," he answered immediately, shaking his head. "I knew nothing about it until the morning after our night together in the library. I swear to you, Elara. If I had known before then, I never would have let things go as far as they did."

I absorbed his words in silence, letting them settle into the already aching spaces inside me. Then I asked the question that mattered most, the one I suspected I would regret asking. "If you had known from the beginning, would you have come after me at all?"