Chapter 50: Chapter 50: Turn Right Ahead to Enter the Trans-Asgardian Expressway

'What the hell is going on?' 

Luke hadn't heard the distinctive, deafening pew-pew-pew of the Destroyer armor blasting laser beams everywhere. Loki was just as theatrical as his father; there was no way he would send the Destroyer to Earth and order it to be stealthy. 

Luke couldn't even fathom how a massive, burning metal golem could possibly utilize stealth, unless... 

Stepping out of the hospital, Luke looked toward the source of the sudden screaming and panic. 

'What are those?!' 

A pack of literal Smurfs was rampaging down the main street of Puente Antiguo. Except, these 'Smurfs' were over seven feet tall, heavily muscled, and had literal icicles growing out of their dark blue skin. 

"Frost Giants!" Thor yelled in absolute shock from right behind Luke. He extended his hand, and Mjolnir instantly rocketed from the S.H.I.E.L.D. crater, smashing through several buildings before landing perfectly in his grasp. 

"Foul Frost Giants! I will cleave you in twain!" Volstagg roared, hefting his massive double-bladed axe. 

Fandral, Hogun, and Sif immediately drew their weapons, preparing to charge alongside Thor. This was their standard, highly sophisticated combat tactic: run forward and hit things very hard! 

Thor turned to his friends, signaling the charge, but his eyes caught Jane, Darcy, and Erik, who were completely frozen in sheer terror. 

Thor hesitated. "We must evacuate the civilians first! I will hold the giants back with my friends! Jane, take the others and get everyone to safety!" 

With his heroic orders given, Thor turned to lead the incredibly confused Warriors Three and Lady Sif into glorious battle. 

THUD. 

Thor walked face-first into the back of someone's head. 

"Ow! Watch where you're going, you idiot!" Luke winced, rubbing the back of his head. Thor's physical density was no joke; his face was hard enough to literally headbutt Tony Stark out of the air. 

"Apologies, Uncle! But the situation is dire! Could you perhaps..." 

Before Thor could even finish his sentence, Luke waved his hand. 

Countless shadows instantly erupted from the pavement across the entire street. 

"Evacuate the civilians! Crush the hostiles! Since when do the Smurfs dare to show their faces when a mage is around?!" Luke commanded menacingly, fully embracing his role as a magical overlord. 

The horde of Shadow Ninjas immediately scattered. Some grabbed terrified civilians and physically tossed them out of harm's way, while the rest engaged the Frost Giants. 

Luke turned back to Thor and the stunned Asgardians. He casually flicked Thor right on the forehead. 

"And another thing: look where you're walking!" 

With that, Luke melted into the shadows, shadow-stepping directly toward the largest concentration of Frost Giants. The Troll Ninjas were too slow to traverse the entire town quickly, so he had to personally transport them to the front lines via his dimensional inventory. 

Thor rubbed his forehead, utterly bewildered. He turned to look at his equally stunned friends. 

"My Uncle... is quite formidable." 

Meanwhile, on Asgard. 

Loki stood alone in the grand, completely empty throne room. The air in front of him rippled, forming a magical projection. 

"I have fulfilled my end of our bargain. My assassins are currently on Midgard hunting Thor. Now, where is the Casket of Ancient Winters?" 

The deep, rumbling voice of Laufey, King of the Frost Giants, echoed from the shimmering portal. 

Loki, gripping Gungnir tightly, slowly traced the intricate runes carved into the legendary spear's shaft. 

"Are you absolutely certain your assassins can kill Thor?" Loki asked smoothly. 

"Do not mock me, Odinson. If your father had not intervened during your foolish raid on Jotunheim, your corpses would already be frozen statues in my realm," Laufey sneered. 

Loki raised an eyebrow, a cold, wicked smile spreading across his face. As long as Thor died, he would be Odin's sole, undisputed heir. But deep down, a tiny, confusing sliver of grief tugged at his heart. 

Laufey, noticing Loki's silence, narrowed his red eyes. "Loki! You must understand... Odin will never allow a prince who orchestrated the murder of his own brother to sit upon the throne." 

'Kinslayer? A murderer of my own brother?' 

Loki scoffed internally, though a flash of genuine murderous intent crossed his eyes as he looked at Laufey. 

"Of course. I am well aware. However, I require one final task from you." 

"You dare attempt to alter our bargain?!" Laufey snarled. 

"No!" Loki's eyes widened, flashing with a terrifying, unhinged madness. 

"Since Odin would never allow a kinslayer to become King... then you must kill Odin! That solves everything, does it not?" 

Laufey stared at the 'Asgardian' prince in sheer, absolute shock. Slowly, the shock faded, replaced by greedy anticipation. 

"What do you say?" Loki whispered temptingly. "Odin currently lies defenseless in the Odinsleep. If you simply walk up to his bed and strike... Odin All-Father will leave this universe forever." 

Laufey was highly suspicious, but the temptation was overwhelming. If he could personally assassinate Odin and reclaim the Casket of Ancient Winters, no one in Asgard would be able to stop him! Jotunheim would return to its former glory! 

(Hela, sitting in Hel: 'Lol, sure buddy. Good luck with that.') 1

"Very well," Laufey agreed. "But I will require your assistance to enter Asgard undetected. That meddlesome Gatekeeper will not simply let my army walk across his bridge." 

"Rest assured. I will deal with Heimdall." 

Back in Puente Antiguo, New Mexico. 

Luke quickly shadow-stepped to a pack of Frost Giants currently freezing cars and smashing storefronts. Watching them skillfully manipulate ambient moisture to generate deadly ice weapons, Luke rubbed his chin thoughtfully. 

'It would be really convenient to keep one of these guys around as a walking AC unit during the summer. But whatever, I'm a billionaire now. I can afford to run the AC.' 

Luke waved his hand. Dozens of massive Troll Ninjas materialized from the shadows. The seven-foot-tall Frost Giants suddenly looked like malnourished dwarves standing next to the five-meter-tall, heavily muscled shadow behemoths. 

Spotting the new enemies, the Frost Giants instantly conjured massive, razor-sharp ice spears and hurled them at the Trolls. 

The ice spears struck true, but they completely failed to inflict any meaningful damage. The superficial cuts on the Trolls' massive bodies were essentially paper cuts. Furthermore, magical constructs didn't have blood, so they didn't care about bleeding or freezing temperatures. 

Having absorbed the initial volley, the Troll infantry initiated a brutal counter-attack. Massive, boulder-sized hands reached out, grabbing several Frost Giants directly by the head. With a sickening crunch, the Trolls squeezed, shattering their skulls like fragile glass ornaments. 

Realizing that crushing heads was a bit messy, the remaining Trolls simply resorted to their signature move: winding up and delivering devastating, full-power haymakers directly to the Frost Giants' chests. 

Unsurprisingly, the brittle, ice-infused bodies of the Frost Giants violently shattered under the sheer kinetic force, exploding into chunks of frozen gore. 

Within seconds, the entire pack of Frost Giants was annihilated. 

Luke scanned his surroundings and realized there were still dozens of Frost Giants scattered across the town. 

"Oh, my dearest nephew," Luke muttered. "Your beloved Uncle would really love to take his clean, expensive shoes and kick you squarely in your arrogant ass right now." 

Directing the Trolls to sweep the main street, Luke deployed hundreds of standard Shadow Ninjas and Razor Claws to hunt down the stragglers, while he personally shadow-stepped to the next largest cluster of enemies. 

After running back and forth across the town for twenty minutes, deploying troops and establishing kill zones, the Frost Giant invasion was completely routed. 

Technically, it wasn't even a battle. It was a one-sided slaughter. "Counter-attack" implied the enemy had a chance. This was more like: 'You threw an ice cube at me, so I punched a hole through your chest.' 

Even the basic Shadow Ninjas, boasting 16x normal human physicals, easily overpowered individual Frost Giants in melee combat. And considering Luke had deployed nearly a thousand ninjas, the invading Frost Giants were hideously outnumbered. 

After spending another ten minutes thoroughly sweeping every alley and building to ensure not a single Frost Giant survived, Luke finally returned to the town square where the civilians were being held. 

He had to admit, the locals were incredibly resilient. The moment the Frost Giants had appeared, several residents had instantly grabbed their shotguns and hunting rifles and started blasting. While the buckshot barely scratched the giants, the sheer, unyielding American spirit was commendable. 

To protect the more enthusiastic, heavily armed locals from getting themselves killed, Luke had ordered roughly 3,000 Shadow Ninjas to form a massive, impenetrable wall around the town square, physically preventing anyone from leaving. 

Honestly, he had used way more ninjas to contain the civilians than he had to actually kill the Frost Giants. 

Feeling incredibly tired, Luke grabbed a megaphone from a nearby Shadow Ninja (who had 'borrowed' it from a police cruiser). 

"Attention! The hostile threat has been completely neutralized! You are free to return to your homes. Also, whoever owns this megaphone, please come claim it." 

Luke made the brief announcement, then mentally commanded the entire Shadow army to instantly dissipate back into the Dark Dimension. 

"Thank you, Mister Ninja!" a young boy yelled, waving a popsicle at a fading Shadow Ninja. 

A few minutes earlier, the boy had casually mentioned he was feeling a bit hot. The nearby ninja had silently vanished and returned seconds later with a stolen popsicle from a nearby gas station. 

The ninja offered a polite, silent nod before melting into the shadows. 

"Problem solved," Luke muttered, slipping into stealth mode to bypass the massive crowd of reporters and confused civilians swarming the square. 

He shadow-stepped directly back to Jane Foster's makeshift laboratory on the edge of town, where Thor, the Asgardian warriors, and a few lucky civilians had taken shelter. 

"Thanks, big guy! I don't know what kind of superhero you are, but your armor is super cool!" a little boy yelled as he ran past, fearlessly hugging Thor's leg. Thor offered an incredibly awkward, strained smile. 

"You know, with a smile like that, you look like you need to be put on a government watchlist," Luke deadpanned, materializing right in front of Thor. 

"So, the threat is eliminated?" Thor asked, his face lighting up with genuine relief. 

"Just a few dozen grunts. There wasn't even a mini-boss," Luke shrugged dismissively. "By the way, shouldn't you be heading home to check on things?" 

"Why?" Thor asked, genuinely confused. As expected, the absolute meathead still hadn't connected the dots regarding the invasion. 

"Don't worry about the complex politics. You wouldn't understand them anyway," Luke sighed. "But I highly recommend you return to Asgard immediately." 

"Think about it, Thor. Heimdall is supposed to guard the realm. Yet he completely failed to intercept an entire strike team of Frost Giants using the Bifrost to travel to Midgard. That implies something has gone horribly wrong in Asgard. Not to mention, your father is still completely incapacitated in the Odinsleep." 

Luke's casual observation finally pierced Thor's thick skull. His brow furrowed deeply. 

'What is Uncle trying to say?' 

Thor glanced discreetly at Sif. Sif, understanding the grave implications, gave a firm, urgent nod. 

"You are right. I must return to Asgard immediately," Thor declared, his tone shifting to absolute seriousness. 

He turned and saw Jane staring at him, her eyes wide with shock and sudden sadness. 

"Do not fear, Jane! With the Bifrost, I can return to Midg... Earth, whenever I wish!" Thor smiled reassuringly. 

Jane wiped away a stray tear that had unconsciously formed in her eye. She nodded, grabbed her car keys, and offered to drive the Asgardians to a "quiet" location to summon the Bifrost. 

"Hey, Coulson. Coming through. Make way," Luke called out as the group approached the S.H.I.E.L.D. crater site. 

Guided by the incredibly loud, completely unsubtle bickering of the Warriors Three, Jane had driven them directly back to the very place Thor had fallen to Earth. 

"I heard you single-handedly wiped out the blue aliens?" Coulson asked casually, gesturing for the heavily armed tactical agents to lower their weapons and let the group pass. 

"Yeah, you owe me big time for this. I just did a massive extermination job for S.H.I.E.L.D., and I didn't even get paid," Luke complained lazily, following the group to the exact center of the Bifrost scorch mark on the desert floor. 

"Wait for me," Thor said softly to Jane, lingering for a moment before turning to face Coulson. 

Thor's expression hardened into royal authority. "It appears your organization has stolen my friend's property. I demand you return it immediately." 

"It was a legal requisition, sir. I assure you, Ms. Foster's equipment will be returned to her shortly," Coulson replied smoothly, utilizing pristine PR speak. 

"You literally stole it!" Jane protested loudly from behind Thor, ensuring everyone in the base heard her. 

Coulson offered a highly strained, perfectly polite smile. Given Thor's newly confirmed divine status, and the highly concerning intelligence Luke had casually dropped about Asgard's military capabilities, Coulson knew he couldn't afford to antagonize the Prince. 

He immediately signaled an agent to retrieve all of Jane's confiscated equipment and research data, desperate to placate her before she caused an intergalactic diplomatic incident. Coulson's professional smile never wavered. 

Thor nodded, highly satisfied with the prompt obedience. 

"Uncle! Do you wish to accompany me to Asgard?" Thor called out, looking back at Luke, who was currently leaning against a S.H.I.E.L.D. humvee playing on his phone. 

"Uh... sure, exploring a new map sounds fun." 

Luke quickly canceled his matchmaking queue and jogged over to stand next to Thor. 

"Coulson, I'm taking a little intergalactic vacation. Tell Tony not to bother calling me, I probably won't have cell service," Luke yelled over his shoulder. 

'You're literally traveling to an alien planet in another dimension. Of course he can't call you,' Coulson thought dryly. But what could he do? He simply nodded like a soulless, corporate middle-manager. 

Seeing that everyone was ready, Thor cleared his throat, puffed out his chest, and looked up at the sky. 

"HEIMDALL! OPEN THE BIFROST!" Thor bellowed with absolute authority. 

... 

A full minute passed in agonizing, absolute silence. Only the sound of the desert wind could be heard. 

'Are you kidding me, kid? Are you sure you actually have authorization?' 

Luke shot Thor a highly condescending, pitying look. Thor's face flushed bright red in sheer humiliation. 

"HEIMDALL! I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!" Thor screamed, completely abandoning his regal composure. 

Finally, a blinding, terrifyingly powerful pillar of concentrated cosmic energy slammed down from the heavens, instantly engulfing Luke, Thor, and the Asgardian warriors, violently pulling them away from Earth at faster-than-light speeds. 

"Not bad. Much smoother than a roller coaster," Luke commented casually as they traveled through the mesmerizing, kaleidoscopic wormhole. 

Thor, however, was not enjoying the ride. The moment they materialized inside the massive, golden observatory on Asgard, Thor saw Heimdall collapsed on the floor, his golden armor covered in thick layers of unnatural, jagged ice. 

A terrible, sinking realization hit Thor. 

"Heimdall! What happened?!" Thor rushed forward, gently supporting the freezing guardian. 

Heimdall was incredibly weak, his voice barely a whisper. "Loki... he brought the Frost Giants into Asgard... to assassinate the King. You must... stop him!" 

"WHAT?!" Thor was absolutely horrified. 

Without wasting a single second, Thor launched himself out of the observatory, spinning Mjolnir and taking to the skies, flying desperately toward the golden palace in the distance. 

"Hey! Wait for me!" Luke yelled, but Thor was already a distant speck on the horizon. 

Luke sighed. He turned to the Warriors Three. "You guys should probably move him away from the entrance. This floor is covered in melting ice water. High humidity is terrible for open wounds." 

Having delivered his terrible medical advice, Luke immediately activated his stealth mode, intending to shadow-step directly to the royal palace. 

"What the f—?!" Luke suddenly reappeared in the exact same spot inside the observatory. 

To his absolute shock, he realized the actual physical 'Rainbow Bridge' connecting the observatory to the palace wasn't just a bridge; it was a highly concentrated, solid conduit of raw cosmic energy. The sheer density of the magical energy completely disrupted his connection to the Dark Dimension, making shadow-stepping physically impossible! 

"Unlucky! Unlucky! Unlucky!" 

Luke cursed his luck. He had no choice but to ignite his flight boots and physically fly toward the palace. But compared to Thor's magical flight or his own instantaneous teleportation, his boots were agonizingly slow. 

Staring at the massive, golden palace looming in the far distance, Luke was speechless. 'Why did you build the bridge this absurdly long?! If Asgard ever gets invaded, your army is going to waste half the battle just jogging across this stupid bridge!' 

Still, Luke's flight speed wasn't exactly slow; he could maintain nearly Mach 3 in the air. On the ground, his shadow-stepping allowed him to move at speeds exceeding Mach 30, basically allowing him to teleport anywhere instantly. But here, forced to obey the physical laws imposed by the massive cosmic energy conduit, he was grounded. 

'Although, if I move that fast during a fight, I can barely react to my own speed. I basically have to use it like the Flying Thunder God technique—predicting exactly where I want to appear before I move.' 

Maintaining his flight speed, Luke eventually reached the imposing, impossibly grand entrance of the Asgardian royal palace. 

'Seriously? Why is this place so obnoxiously huge? Do you guys have to walk for ten minutes just to find a bathroom?' 

Luke stared at the labyrinthine, golden corridors stretching endlessly in every direction, completely lost. 

He stood there for a few minutes, seriously considering just picking a random direction and hoping for the best. Suddenly, he noticed a massive, blinding surge of energy erupting from the Bifrost observatory in the far distance. 

'Wait... when did you guys run all the way back there?!' 

Luke was completely exasperated. The palace was so absurdly large and visually overwhelming that he hadn't even noticed Thor and Loki fighting their way back across the bridge. 

Sighing heavily in defeat, Luke turned around and started flying back across the massive bridge. 

'Kids these days have absolutely no respect for their elders. Don't you know making an old man fly back and forth is bad for his joints?!' 

Luke mentally swore that the next time he saw Odin, he was going to force the King to install proper, modern signage throughout the palace. Otherwise, how was anyone supposed to navigate this golden maze? 

He had already drafted the signs in his head: 

[Turn Right in 500 Meters to Reach the Dungeons.] 

[Turn Right in 400 Meters to Enter the Dungeon Service Alley.] 

[Proceed Straight Ahead for Direct Access to the Odinsleep Chamber.] 

[Take the Next Left to Enter the Trans-Asgardian Expressway (Bifrost).]